I’ve been trying work out why there’s Polish shops and the odd Polish sign here and there and why any European workers you hear about tend to be from Poland – as opposed to Lithuanian or Estonian or one of these other Eastern European countries.

Is it because Poland has a high population (36 million) and the country’s a bit skint? If so, why aren’t there tons of Ukrainians over here? They’ve got 46 million, and I’m assuming they’re a bit skint anaw.

Tell me why.

And while you’re at it, why do all the Polish guys have crew cuts and coach jackets?