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Too much Tango

I saw this Tango poster today: “Too much Tango makes your guffs smell like oranges. Seriously, I just did one.”

Sorry, right, wait a minute, I need to check something with everybody here, I need to check to see if I’ve been getting something wrong about humanity.

Farts are disgusting.

Am I right?

Tell me I’m right. I know I’m a slow learner and I don’t get stuff that other people get, but I thought we had that one thing in common. I thought we all thought farts were disgusting.

But then that wouldn’t make sense. Because there we have an advert for a soft drink, and it associates the drink with someone’s farts. And, well, that’s disgusting. And therefore the drink’s disgusting, you just kind of make that connection, don’t you?

Honestly, have I got this all wrong?

Look, I don’t know why I’ve got it into my head that farts are disgusting, farts and shite. I’ve always thought that we humans, unlike other animals, could get very sick from eating other people’s shite. So we have this in-built disgust for human waste, so that we keep away from it.

Whatever the reason, I quite simply find the smell of a stranger’s arse to be unpleasant. Always have. And I thought we all thought that.

But, again, this poster. An advertising person came up with that, and they tend to know what they’re doing. They surely haven’t got this wrong, and got this wrong this wrong.

Oh, if they only wanted to get me thinking and talking about Tango, then they’ve succeeded. But at what cost? Cos from now on, whenever I pick up a can of Tango in a shop and go to take it to the till, I’ll think twice. Because I’ll know that there’s a chance that someone else who has seen the poster will see me with the can of Tango, and start thinking about my farts smelling of oranges. It wouldn’t matter if I told them that one can of Tango isn’t “too much Tango”, cos that’s not the point. The point is that they’ll be thinking about my farts, and I don’t want people thinking about my farts, I don’t want people thinking about my shite, I don’t want to remind people that I’m a disgusting animal. That’s why I wear clothes and try to look and smell good, to disguise what I really am – a fucking pig.

What were they thinking, man?

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 5:21 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • Martyn
    I associate people with whatever smell may be near or around them. If I bumped into a person commonly thought of as gorgeous, like, say Eva Medez or whoever and there was a smell of farts there, whether it was her's or not, I would instantly find her boggin in every sense. I thought that was built in as well, like sittin on a bus seat that a tramp may or may not have pissed on recently is horrible and disgusting, like that.
  • Michael
    I fart on pillows and the fibres absorb the poo particles and then I ram it in someones face. It's good. Tango is bawz anyway.
  • There are at least two other adverts in this series that I've seen around Croydon - I went out to photograph them today, but unfortunately they'd been taken down.

    The second ad I saw claimed that too much Tango would make your hair turn ginger - including hair "down there" or something similar. So they're gone beyond farts into pubic hair territory.

    The third ad, which I saw on Purley Way, said "Drinking too much Tango made me suck a bull's udder," which not only drops the "orange" theme, but also describes the act of fellatio on a non-human animal.
  • I thought it was in every guys genetics to fart and then hold their partners head under the covers!
  • Dubya B Yeats
    Tango's piss, the ad's piss and the 'humans' who get paid to 'create' such questionable dross are fucking piss.
  • sonia
    lollerskates, it's not that Sugar Puffs smell of pish, it's that your pish smells of Sugar Puffs after you've eaten them. So some of your classmates must have been Sugar Puff eaters.
  • Guilty Bystander
    Eddiemunster - what advert? Have you seen a Buckfast advert?
  • No Mike, she was crying because she was being raped. :)
  • Mike
    I made a girl cry once cause I was drunk and laughed at her fanny fart. Talk about sensitive.
  • You know you've reached a milestone in a new relationship when you can both acknowledge a fanny fart and have a wee laugh about it, instead of kidding on there wisnae a noise.
  • Mike
    Fanny farts and your own farts are the only funny farts AGREED?
  • John Shuttlecock
    You are a fucking ape Limmy, not a fucking pig. Your affectations are a symptom of your animality rather than a cover up of it: your clothes and behaviour display your status and your hygiene attracts mates. You fucking primate.
  • Gorz
    Best one ive seen is on the anniesland switchback

    To much tango made me suck a bulls udder.

    Amazing
  • dead prez
    eating shite makes your farts smell of shite (never tried eating farts yet). vimto is an anagram of vomit. what would a turd in a bucket of tango smell like?
  • lollerskates
    I agree synf. I always liked Sugar Puffs but they do smell of pish a bit. The kind of pishy smell you get in primary school toilets. Not the modern schools. I mean the old sandstone primary schools you and I no doubt went to when we were but knee-high to a grasshopper.

    A strange blend of disinfectant, carbolic soap, and Sugar Puff pishy smell.
  • synf
    aye, next there will be posters advertising sugar puffs saying
    " if you eat sugar puffs your piss will smell like sugar puffs"

    why is that? That really put me off sugar-puffs!
  • lollerskates
    I'm going to boycott Tango forever more. They've ruined it. I'll hit them where it hurts the most. Right in the fuckin' pocket! I buy at best 2 cans of Tango a year. So that's them fucked out of £1.20.

    Fanta it is.
  • Ditta
    No matter what, now when I see a can of Fanta I am going to think of Limmy's farts. And when I see or hear Limmy, my first thought will be "Oh there's that Limmy on the TV -- FARTS."
    You should have left it well alone.
  • Clinto
    Buckfast sells itself in Scotland, no need for expensive advertising!
    Buckfast makes you F**kfast - old school word of mouth right there
  • Buckfast makes yer farts smell like rotting flesh that someone has shat on. Don't see them using that in the adverts though.
  • Lost Remote
    Advertising is the devil's lukewarm spunk, landing right in your eye at every turn. All that's happened is the marketing fuckplugs have decided that it's summer and that the teenagers are on holiday... and what do teenagers love? Man, random stuff and all that cool Jackass (from eight years ago)! If we can tap into that market and get ONE PERSON to say they have an orange fart then we can count on our drink topping the thirst-quench charts! And if people complain about it and it gets banned then we'll sell MORE! Because people hate being told what not to do so they'll do it. Fucking genius. More genius than violently slapping people on both sides of the head at once. That USED to be genius. Now this is.

    I don't think it's aimed at adults. It's aimed at teens. The marketing board version of teens. But teens *seem* to be a bit more like this...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hR-A_ppO5o
  • Caesar Portugal
    Also, I got a takeaway a wee while back that came with a free can of juice. When I ordered the food I didn't say what juice I wanted. When it got delivered it was apple tango. APPLE TANGO FOR FUCKS SAKES! Where did they get that from, 1995?
  • Caesar Portugal
    This will appeal to fuckwits.

    Adverts have to appeal to most people.

    Sadly most people nowadays are fuckwits.
  • JFlynn
    I can't help it.
    But this Ad is getting flipped around in my head, now all I can think about is opening a can of Tango and tasting a guff.

    A can of fart.
  • I think tango and tango ads are shite though.
  • I disagree.

    I think farting is fun and should be applauded.
    Anyone that says it isn't, is lieing (and they know it)
  • Meat-Fat
    This is the kind of tripe produced by the mindset "there's no such thing as bad publicity!".

    Utter bollocks.

    You could set a school full of kids on fire and spraypaint a logo on the side of the burning building. Huge publicity for the logo... not so good though.

    It's up there with "the customer is always right".

    Just..... no.
  • You've been tango'ed Limball

    The ad man (capitalist term for mind melder) wins here hands down. Because whether positively or negatively we're all talking about Tango. There are loads of ads that fuck with your head out there. Its a new breed of ad strategy. Get into your head with weird slogans that don't make sense or bright gaudy colours, or daft looking fuckers on it and whether you like it or loathe it you won't help thinking about....

    You'll probably end up buying a Tango to deal with the stress of it all...
  • I think the idea is that the ad will make you laugh, because farts are funny. And it worked for me. I laughed. When you see a funny ad it usually sticks in your mind. But yeah, I don't want to be thinking about farts when I'm slaking my thirst with a cold refreshing beverage. Besides I don't think we have Tango here in Australia (with or without the added tango).

    I do like the way that it looks like an old-timey advert though and the slogan, "smells like oranges" refers to your guffs and not the drink (oh subversive). In all honesty I think it's a decent ad, better than 95% of the garbage out there.
  • snout
    Do they no say 'guff' in Fife?
  • Jamster1984
    Are ye's sure they're talking about 'guffs' fae yer arse and not from a burds front bum?
  • Just listened to Dee Dee's steesher story which uses farts creatively. Although disgusting it's funny. I'm trying to work out why that story is successful, and the Tango one isn't.
    They're both reliant on the fact that one can affect the smell of the fart depending on what you eat/drink beforehand.

    Overall, we all know that observation is a true one, and comedy can successfully be extracted from that truth.
    So, can farts be funny? Yes - but they're a bloody horrendous tool to advertise any form of food/drink. Do not associate your product with excrement.

    Also, "guffs" ?
  • Tango adverts USED to be funny but they're just trying far too hard. And seemed to have a five year old's sensibilities these days too. Irn Bru adverts have become perilously close to this shiteness in recent years too.
  • nah farts are funny
  • Conor
    NAE, JUST NOEL ARSEHOLE FIELDING
  • Conor
    YOU CAN BLAME THE MIGHTY BOOSH FOR THIS ABSOLUTE SHITE
  • snout
    *fart*
  • Aloysius Munn
    Irn-Bru started the 'soft drinks/bodily function associations' with the Ginger Afro Goes For A Pish ad in 1995, and did it again with the Geriatric Slavers ad in 1998.

    The agencies see it as a matter of demographics - they think young people will find it funny and not disgusting. Be interesting to know if it's the same ad agency this time round doing ginger farts. Me, I think the Tango advert is a wet fail.
  • Clinto
    Why have so many people in here been tasting farts? !
  • They've got another one which says 'Too much Tango causes hair loss & casual sexism'. It's a little reminiscent of the pre-phenomenal Irn-Bru ads, but not as good. (also, that whole 'phenomenal' campaign is painful. Irn-Bru used to do a decent billboard)
  • Guilty Bystander
    Tango With Added Tango - reads TWAT on the can...
  • Guilty Bystander
    Tango seem to have a few adverts posted about Glasgow that have negative connotations - I don't why, or what the logic is, but I thought the same thing - would definitely put off buying it...
  • Back to you original point, "Farts are disgusting"...It depends on the smell, Everyone likes there own brand. Other peoples tend to be horrible, And women should never fart in front of a man. And who would buy a soft drink if they thought it made their farts smell like oranges?
  • Umbongo Umbongo they drink it in the Congo.

    Now there was a fucking fruity bevarage advert to be proud of.

    Heres another,We all adore Kiora,fucking class
  • CrackHead
    Should it not say "Too much Tango turns you into a Fat Cunt!" Get the important message across, I mean who really gives a fuck about it turning your farts in to some airy fairy orange scented flatulence!

    Shite marketing for a shite drink... "You've been Tangoed" was much better!? Oh... and on that subject, theres a few birds at my work who look like they have been fucking tangoed, they should have their fucking fake tan/orange face make-up taken off them....



    Oh and there's other ones - and they are just as shite!
  • jerry the jake
    to be honest i think tango tastes like farts anyway, but that is a strange advert. "guffs" and "i just did one" its all a bit weird when youre talking about something you want someone to drink. but if your drinking tango in the first place maybe you dont care about swilling a fart around your mouth

    next it'll be

    "putting your manky bell end in a glass of tango makes it TASTE OF ORANGES. seriously, i'm doing it now"
  • PureJakeyBastart
    Sonia, farts have many textures, not just popcorned flavoured. Where's Gordon Ramsey when you need him....?
  • i start fires
    i mean for fuck sake this is basically some wee prick saying swallow my shite

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_T4-3Spq-Q
  • i start fires
    this is magic.

    i've just copied and pasted this to my bird who thinks farting is amazing and freaks out at me cos i tend not to fart if at all possible. i'm not saying i dont fart its just if i can help it i like to avoid it.

    personally i think farts smell like shite.... i dont like the smell of shite
  • THE MIGHTY QUINN
    PIZZA'S ARRIVED!
  • THE MIGHTY QUINN
    I drank too much Tango and then farted, I'll tell ye whit, it didn't smell like oranges.

    It smelled of shit.

    P.S. I used to be mickredsun but can't be arsed being mickredsun anymore.
  • Mike
    I bet British Lion Eggs are kicking themselves for not thinking this up 1st.
  • Brainfish
    Nah it's only other peoples farts that are disgusting. Everyboy knows your own farts are great!
  • Derek
    This is the company that sold you their product by having a hugely obese orange 'tard slap people in the face. Leading to the trend of happy slapping etcetera.

    I think what they're trying to say is if you drink our product, your farts will smell of oranges, and this is desirable.

    What the hell os a guff anyway? Talk about yer regional advertising!

    They're just trying to be Irn Bru, and failing.
  • PureJakeyBastart
    peachdelights sounds like Limmy. You're becoming a ranting, moaning wuman Limmy. Christ on a fucking bike!
  • sonia
    I hate ads that try to be TOO funny. However, orange scented farts could be nice.

    Next they'll be advertising sugar puffs saying it makes your pee smell like sugar puffs (which it does, apparently).

    Incidentally, I think popcorn tastes like farts.
  • handsomecunt
    Its just a shite advert.
  • Jar
    there adverts are always pish... dunno why they feel the need to always try be wacky... its a pretty decent drink
  • Guff, I take it thats what they call farts in ENGLAND!
  • Is it no supposed to make yer farts smell better then? Thus making tango a desirable product? An since when have we used the word guff?
  • Galvanizer
    Tango's shite anyway, leaves a dodgy dry aftertaste. Maybe it was the funny cunts fae irn bru who've put out shite tango adverts to try an improve sales in their own stuff?
  • Jack Turner
    This is poor on the advertising executives' behalf, going for the concept of farts for an energy drink poster. The only positive is that it is a bit funny I suppose and that's obviously what they were going for. But cheap laughs?? Is that really all they can muster? I think not. You are right in what you are saying though, farts are disgusting, and it is our human nature to instinctly turn from them. So why they have gone for it is as a concept for advertising is beyond me.
  • peachdelights
    Seba makes a good point. haha
    I hate that poster. It IS disgusting. So far, me and my friend have boycotted Pot Noodles (because of their shit adverts) and have tried to boycott Stella due to their annoying adverts but ended up drinking it last night anyway as it was so cheap in Lidl.
    I think I may have to boycott Tango next. I'll stick to Fanta.
    Saw another Tango advert as well that said it would turn your pubes ginger. That's gonna lead to a lot of kids getting the shit ripped out of them in school cause their Mam's can't afford to get them Fanta. (The good stuff.)
  • I've got to agree on this one, they've just gone too far - they've always used shock advertising to sell, but this really takes the piss. Its not even slightly funny. In fact i think it has put me off buying Tango for the rest of my life.

    That 'you've been tango'd' advert got banned, yunno the one where they slap the side of your head? I think this belongs in the banned bin as well.
  • rooster
    Totally agree. In fact I would go further and challenge that bizarre perception that your own farts smell okay. They don't smell okay, they have various smells according to what you have consumed etc, in a similar manner to everyone elses. They may be more tolerable because your brain tells you, 'hey it's a part of what you do.' but they NEVER smell okay.

    More generally, re advertising, the frequency that adverts are aired which are clearly hellish amazes me. Three examples:

    1. That still photo that was at bus stops, advertising a new wide necked juice bottle. It had a guy standing with his mouth open from which an enormous cock looked like it had been photoshopped out (and was usually drawn back on).

    2. That MacDonalds one from a few years back when they had an Aussie range and some fat Aussie comedian had the food all over his face and front in a grotesque display.

    3. The Kellogs one where the couple are making a home video giving instructions how to eat cornflakes rushing around the kitchen getting the milk etc.

    Terrible.
  • xbrandxnewx
    i don't think they intended anyone to stress out over it anyway limmy! =p
    i suppose there going for the whole "random" humor thing (what ever that is) and not really intending people to think in detail about it! but wanting people to either laugh at it or do what youv done and do a free advert for them!

    but yes i can easily see where your coming from but, i dont think food and drink company's should associate food/drink with things we'd rather not think about whilst eating and drinking!

    or miby we are all just getting to old! pffttt!
  • Farts are good if you do them onto some part of your friend's body, on his food, or in his pint.
  • thelastpoundnote
    Vimto done this ages ago wi the Purple Ronnie guy.

    Cannae mind exactly what he said but it was something aboot "bottom burps" and a picture of him farting.
  • Tango tastes like farts.
  • Mick
    "Tango tastes like farts". Is that not what this advert is telling us?
  • PureJakeyBastart
    Farts are hilarious. The weirder the noise, the better. Never, have I smelled a fart that resembles an orange odor. Most smell of, putrid death! If everycunts farts started smelling like oranges, from drinking Tango? I'd say, everycunt should drink it!
  • Ludo.
    Dunno man, ask DeeDee.
  • Chris
    haha it's seba lol.

    people will try to make there farts smell like oranges and to do that they'll need to buy a lot of tango "too much tango".
  • damobhoy
    Fanta was invented by the Nazis
  • Jack
    seen that ad in the west end somewhere...

    we were more interested in the other Tango poster which said `INCIDENT REPORT: GINGER MAN BITES HORSE`

    our ginger friend asked the shop guy for the billboard

    he was to wait till next week


    I studied a wee bit of advertising analysis an they swear down that by getting you talk about a product the adverts worked ....

    but every rule has an exception and mixing bodily fluids with fizzy liquids could be it
  • seba
    also would like to say if u look at the can

    tango
    with
    added
    tango

    spells twat if u look at the 1st letter of each word
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