I was out having dinner the other night, and I was reading one of the papers they had. In it was a Mastercard advert that I had to take a photie of to show you. Click on it below to see the full size version.
It’s for some campaign called The Big Lunch that Mastercard is sponsoring. The big idea is that we, in Britain, don’t really get to meet the people in our neighbourhood, we’ve all become strangers, it never used to be like this, etc. So let’s all organise lunches and barbecues and get together to chat and eat and play and laugh and sing. Let’s bring Britain together.
A lot of fucking shite.
Why? Well, let’s look again at their advert, because I think it demonstrates why such a Utopian vision can never become a reality.
“We can speak Welsh, Geordie and Scouse. We remember the war and VE day. We invented football, and won the world cup: twice. We eat chicken tikka & fish n chips. We always look on the bright side. We are the people of Britain and we’re having a big lunch.”
Can you see what’s missing? Can you see what’s missing from these references to the history and culture of the island of Great Britain? There appears to be something missing.
Nothing much, really. Just the existence of Scotland and the people of Scotland and anything the Scots have ever done. Nothing much.
No speaking of Gaelic, no invention of the telephone or television, just a brief nod to the Welsh principality before moving quickly on to England inventing football and England winning the world cup and England winning the rugby world cup as well. Oh, and a mention of the war, what a lovely tribute to the Scots who died for Britain: complete disregard.
Now just picture that advert in the form of some cunt at one of these barbecues. Picture listening to a cunt like that at a barbecue. And that’s Britain coming together.
Fuck that. Fuk dat shit.
