Nothing. Same for Christmas. Nothing.

If we've started speaking or acting like Yanks, I'd say its more our fault than theirs.

When you ask for chips in Burger King and the guy looks at you like you've grown three heads out your arse, it really fucking riles me. I bet when they're outside work and someone asks them if they want a bag of chips, they know what it fucking means!

"Our flats are now apartments, our chemists are now pharmacies, our shops are now stores, our chips are now fries."

Since when? Is that how your mates talk? Eh? There's yer problem then.

nothing....taking a vacation from thanksgiving this year!

Jimboooo! Says:
"Since when?"

Are you blind?

Jay Says:
"If we’ve started speaking or acting like Yanks, I’d say its more our fault than theirs."

Of course, of course.

Why don't we celebrate a new day, one of the createst days in Scottish history...

Lets celebrate The Union of the Parliaments Day every May the 1st!

Whey hey!

Get it tae fuck!

You should take the time out of your busy schedule to watch the film Made Of Honor. Tommy Toxoplasmosis from Trainspotting is in it. It'll take your mind off of Thanksgiving whilst strengthening your hatred of Team America.

Go on, give it a try.

Unfortunstely, it's got nothing to do with Medal Of Honour.

Don't forget 'trick or treating'. Or 'adult' (emphasis on the second syllable)

I'll be burning an American flag for my Thanksgiving the morra.

Self harm and wanking this Thanksgiving.

It's what our founding fathers would have wanted.

It's kind of hard to avoid American mannerisms when their culture is pretty much everywhere you go. It's more than normal. If an English person were to move up here, they'd more than likely pick up some of our mannerisms. I'll agree with you on the Thanksgiving thing though, anyone who celebrates that here is a prick.

I'm going up to my nana's with my fella cos it's ma wee maw's birthday. Then we're going to ma maw's to blitz it with tinsel and shite for christmas, then having a good laugh at her cos we don't have to live there and she does.

I'm trying to promote a St Andy's day on Sunday and it's a wee bit like pulling teeth at times, mainly cos when I ask people they say "When's St Andrews Day?!" Maybe if I go to asda now I can get some turkey and American flags in time? It'll be packed to the rafters then.

The Yanks have a stranglehold on global media. We get spoonfed American show after American show and the results are creeping Americanisation. I have to admit to using apartment, it just sounds better than flat. My burd is Swedish and learnt most of her English from U.S. TV shows: bugs the hell out of me when she says "mom" "laying on the sofa" and of course "tomayto".

Can we no just move St Andrews Day to July, change the name to "Independence Day" and then have loads of fireworks and eat a tonne of hot dogs, that would be better.

I'll be giving my local indians smallpox after taking all their food aff them. .

I'll be using my Scottish accent to get in to the pants of American college chicks here in Florida. Tonight (Thanksgiving Eve) is like New Year and Christmas Eve all rolled into one, well so they say. Then working each day at 8am. My ultimate goal is to not only get a ride, but get invited to a full on American Thanksgiving dinner. But how many times do one-night stands get invited to family meals the next day?

People here say England when they mean Britain or UK. They know that Scotland is part of Britain, so sometimes they say Scotland is a part of England and that is a blow I usually suffer in silence now. Its amazing the number of times where I've balance a response of "Aye, great" with "Actually mate, you'll find that...". I learned to bite my tongue at immigration years ago.

"So many of you English guys coming in today!"
"Aye, great."

Del you sound like a fuckin creep man.

Another one is "Prom night". When the fuck did that become the norm? I mean, for fuck's sake, my niece's school had one last year! Is this commonplace language now? Anycunt who utters those two words without cynicism or sarcasm need to be hung.

sarahsox, he is.

Well, ahm gawn tae the shindig in George Sq on sat - a wee St Andrews knees up and in tru Scottish form, I'm going because it's freeee!

My friend is Californian and she's having a combined St Andrews and Thanksgiving on Sunday night, so I'll be looking forward to the leftovers at work next week!

Ach, bluddy Yanks have only managed to ruin the spoken and written word with their shite, but they will never take oor freedom!

Chips are still chips, fries are a different breed of chips. Try going into a chip shop and asking for fries, you might get something but it won't involve potatoes. :P

What happened to to the most important identity of all, individualism? Why do people have to be or not be country X or country Y, why can't people grow some balls and just be what ever they want to be?

If people want to call chips fries let them, if people want to call fries chips let them, if people want to celebrate thanks giving and add their own little touch let them.

People are so obsessed with "us V. them", so dependant on being like their peers, that they're cold and scared without the comfort of conformity. What a bunch of spineless cowards! :P

"Narelle Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 11:47 am

When you ask for chips in Burger King and the guy looks at you like you’ve grown three heads out your arse, it really fucking riles me."

Let's be fair, if you go into an American fast-food outlet, you're going to get Americanised food and food names.

If you want English go to an English restaurant, if you want Scottish go into a Scottish restaurant, if you want Welsh go into a Welsh restaurant, if you want British go into a pub.

You wouldn't expect a French restaurant to call 'escargot' 'snails' just because they're in Britain would you? :P

It's quite normal for restaurants serving a particular kind of food to name the food as it's originally named in it's place of origin. Just because you misguidedly hate American culture doesn't mean people should start calling 'French Fries' 'chips'.

You going into Burger King and asking for 'chips' is like an American going into Burger King and asking for Freedom Fries. :P

Oops I just contradicted my self somewhat, but you should get what I mean :P

"sarahsox Says:

November 26th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Del you sound like a fuckin creep man."


AHAHAHAHAHAAH

Del, been noticing ever since Eddiemunster slagged you for your lack-of-hole you've been hittin' out with all these "ahm gonnae get a shag" statements.

Nobody's buying it, buddy.

sarahsox, why? Because I'm going out looking for a ride?

Al, what's with all the smiling?

Al, i think i understand your point. If i want to call you a jerkoff that would be fine and you'd be equally as happy if i described you as a wank.

Al, I agree. But when you're being served by a Scottish seventeen year old with bad acne and the keys to a fucked up corsa in his pocket, you expect him to understand what 'chips' are when you ask for them. If I go to a Spanish restaurant, I don't have to order it in fucking Spanish, do I?!

Del: I'm sticking my tongue out :P, old habit but for those who know me it's kind of my trademark. It's kind of like a tongue-in-cheek thing.

mcleod: You seem a little riled, did I touch a raw nerve?

hell, yeah! thats what ahm talkin bout, woo!

hi-5?

Narelle: he works in Burger King, you can't expect much. :P

"If I go to a Spanish restaurant, I don’t have to order it in fucking Spanish, do I?!"

No, but in any restaurant you do generally ask for the dish by it's name, or the number if you can't pronounce it. You don't go into a Mexican restaurant and ask for "flat bread filled with junk" when you're ordering Fajitas do you? Although that could be quite amusing! :P

Who is the number one wank on the blog, Ali? It's no me, is it?

Thanks giving is the day when they commemorate fucking over the Native Americans, and robbing them of their homeland, right? It's such a uniquely American thing...why take it from them? I may burn a flag, liberate a couple of turkeys, and donate something to the Native American College Fund.

he might be creepy and no get his hole, but i no longer think del is the number one wank on this blog.



a dae.

I'm hearing you ali bongo. It's close though.

I wonder who will win this three way fight between Del, Al and Ali Bongo.

My money's on Del.

Wait.. what? I'm not in any fight with Del or Ali Bongo :P

Indeed, Al. I don't expect much from someone who works in Burger King, but I'm talking about the confusion that you get when you do, accidentally, slip into the 'Scottish' for something. If I order 'the chicken dish in the white wine sauce thingamajig' in La Tasca, for example, the waiter will know I'm on about Pollo Al Ajillo. In Burger King, you ask for chips and you get a blank stare. Uh, what's 'chips'? You mean 'fries'?

For what it's worth, I try to order things as they are on the menu!

My money’s on Del.


Limmy,

Reasons?

I like Del, he's resilient.

Al, Ali Bongo called you a wank and Del's taking the piss out of your smiley thing.

GET STUCK IN.

Jack, my money's on Del cos he's a tough cookie with lots of promise.

Narelle: Meh, I've never really had expectations of any sort for people working in places like Burger King lol. Most staff in places like that around here don't speak English too well.

Limmy: Pfft, mcleod called me a wank but he's just sulking.

Didn't realise it was me Ali Bongo was calling a wank. Can't really respond unless he gives me reasons!

As for Del, well I don't pay much attention to what he says or thinks, he's a compulsive liar so I have nothing but pity for him. :P

Absolutely brilliant! The first sign (yet again) of Del taking an absolute tanking on the blog! And all for Del saying something that anybody else would have got away with but as it's him, he's gettin' it! Lovin' it.

Limmy, I've already won, I've got you and fionaf on my side.

Al is harmless and terrified of offending anyone, so puts smiley faces on everything.

Ali Bongo is being playful and baiting me.

Its really Del v Jack and unless Jack shows us all where I said I was "gonnae get a ride", then I win. He has 24 hours. He might have got confused with me saying I was going out on the town and looking for women, which is not the same as claiming or predicting a hole getting scenario.

Is this too much?: http://delresponds.wordpress.com/

del i hate to break this to you, but we don't have a long running battle.

Aye Fiona, Del is resilient. So is cancer.

Del: perhaps you should read my comments on the Remembrance Day post if you think I'm terrified of offending people. Don't mistake character for timidity. I just don't get my self into childish slagging matches, debates are far more enthralling and satisfying, and given that I'm on the side of reality, winning isn't on the agenda. This is the internet, nobody wins, only reality ever wins in the end. :P

Also don't take my comment about you being a compulsive liar as an attempt to offend you, it's not, it's an observation. I genuinely believe that you have some serious mental difficulties that drive you to desperately seek out acknowledgement by flamboyantly masquerading your self as a man of high style and culture.

If there's one thing I've learnt from studying psychology and human behaviour, it's that compulsive liars will say or do anything in an attempt to divert attention from the fact that they are liars and it's usually not a concious process. Your level of cognitive bias precludes you from facing reality, so I already know that anything I or anybody else says is going to have about as much effect as chewing bricks with nothing but gums.

Put quite simply, arguing with you is like arguing with a retarded 6 year old who's adamant that his father is named Santa Clause and lives in the north pole. It's a waste of time.

Please do amuse me with another textbook reply though. ;)

I'm putting £100 on Al noo, to make up for the tenner I'm obviously going to lose on Del.

Al, a/s/l? lol ;-)

Al, I'm fucking stunned. [takes a second to drink it in] Compulsive liar? So you are saying that this blog and the comments give me a compulsion to "flamboyantly masqueraded" myself as a "man of high style and culture"? Where have I lied? How do you know I'm not a man of style and culture?

When I studied psychology, it was still a science. Did they scrap the whole 'evidence to back things up' side of it? So you can get a good "level of cognitive bias" from some comments I make on a comedy blog? Stunned, Al. Fucking stunned.

Eddiemunster, its just a figure of speech my friend. What would you call it?

I think I have to join in after reading Del's pish. Can't. Seem. To. Hold. Back.

Del says, 'People here say England when they mean Britain or UK. They know that Scotland is part of Britain, so sometimes they say Scotland is a part of England and that is a blow I usually suffer in silence now. Its amazing the number of times where I’ve balance a response of “Aye, great” with “Actually mate, you’ll find that…”. I learned to bite my tongue at immigration years ago'

Hi Del, is that EVERY American you have met aye? is that what they ALL think in Florida aye? I fucking hate pure generalisations like that and why do you 'bite your tongue'? If some cunt has made an arse of it tell them, I have met alot of Americans and aye, some do make an arse of it and it's just because they aren't taught British geography or history in their School and nor should they be, they don't live here and don't probably want to come here ever cause usually it would cost them twice the amount to spend money here with the dollar. Anyway, I digress. You're just pure irritating me the night with your shite patter. If you are going to try and enlighten with your stories of your observations while on your 'travels' maybe you could make them a bit more accurate instead of waffling on like a pure waffle master. In fact, YOU are the King of the Waffles. The pure high commisioner of Waffledom.

.

Al yer maw's a cow

Ah fucking love this place. Honest to god I really do.

Del Says:

Is this too much?: http://delresponds.wordpress.com/

--------------------------------------------------------

A blog set up purely to detail case studies of fallouts on another blog, too much? Jist a wee bit.

I reckon Del is truly aff his heid, and not in a good way e.g. "you'll like this cunt, he's aff his heid"

Working tomorrow in the hospital hopefully the dafties will be too pished and full of crack and turkey to bother going out and shooting each other,
so I can enjoy our hospital Thanksgiving dinner without too many interruptions.
Have a good time Del in Florida I think yer a decent chap and don,t deserve the shite ye get. Happy Thanksgiving to you all

Chris, what d'you think of Del, Al and Ali Bongo? Who d'you reckon's winning this one?

Jobbo Says:
"I think yer a decent chap and don,t deserve the shite ye get."

Then get stuck into these cunts that are giein him a hard time. It's all in the name of entertainment.

Dels alright,he can handle these cunts.

whos jack del ? :S

Jobbo, get tore in, c'mon tae fuck.

Del: "When I studied psychology, it was still a science."

So you study psychology too now? Is there anything you haven't done?

"So you are saying that this blog and the comments give me a compulsion"

No, if you'd studied psychology as you claim, you'd know that compulsion is an internal cognitive process. The blog or people's comments doesn't give you a compulsion to lie, your insecurities give you a compulsion to lie.

"Did they scrap the whole ‘evidence to back things up’ side of it?"

The proof is in the pudding my friend. Something people don't often realise is that the way people write things on the internet is a lot like body language, what they say and how they say it tells a lot about what they're thinking and how their mind works.

"How do you know I’m not a man of style and culture?"

For starters, if you actually did half the things you claim to do, you wouldn't be compulsively and consistently chronicling your activities in comments on another person's blog. I do a lot in my life but I don't compulsively write them in the comments section of other people's blogs, why? Because a) Nobody gives a shit, and b) I'd end up spending more time writing about it to an unreceptive audience than actually doing things. If I currently had a job and was living the high life, I wouldn't have the time let alone the inclination to frequently comment on somebody else's blog.

For somebody who travels the world and lives the high-life, you seem to blog about your activities in the comments section of Limmy's blog more than Limmy blogs about his own activities in his actual blog.

You don't act like a man of style and culture, you act like somebody who's desperate for status and attention, and you write your stories in a way that's atypical compulsive liar. That doesn't mean everything you say is a lie, compulsive liars often intertwine truths and half-truths into their lies.

I can,t remember what they are arguing about but Dels no a bad cunt,Everybody gets into him because he comes across as an intellectual but I think thats the way he is I don,t think he is trying and thats alright.
I think he gets up the noses of other would be intellectuals on yer blog who think that he,s condescending.
Maybe us ordinary people don,t notice it or don,t give a fuck.
Its like that story in the Acid House were the two professors are arguing in Brechins pub in Govan over some brain melting theory and they take it outside to the Govan Centre car park and all the neds and ordinary punters are wondering whit they are fighting about,Its something like that.
I don,t know what I am talking about but Dels alright.

al and del are both wanks. i thoroughly enjoy watching them go at each other like two idiot savants. good times!

Jules, of course its a generalisation ya fucking ringpiece. As far as anti-Del chat goes, you're a fucking amateur. King of Waffledome, get yerself tae fuck. Writing a massive reply about how I shouldn't go on as much. Cock.

Thanks for the advice, next time I need to work in America and I piss off the immigration guy I'll be sure to thank you when I lose my job.

"Del responds"

I'm utterly speechless......

It's me, I'm jack del.

"Its really Del v Jack and unless Jack shows us all where I said I was “gonnae get a ride”, then I win."



"I’ll be using my Scottish accent to get in to the pants of American college chicks here in Florida. "


Del. Am yer da, who shagged to yer ma.

Del, there's no chance I'm going to allow you to post more links to your reply site, I want all the fun here.

Jobbo, who is it you're criticising for attacking Del, exactly? Name names.

* Del i'm yer da, who shagged yer ma.

Del:

"Jules, of course its a generalisation ya fucking ringpiece. As far as anti-Del chat goes, you’re a fucking amateur. King of Waffledome, get yerself tae fuck. Writing a massive reply about how I shouldn’t go on as much. Cock."

That's mair like it sonnyjim! See whit ye can dae when ye put yer mind tae it? Not one ounce of waffledom in that comment there.

i've been away for a bit, but it's good to see Del's still the #1 knobber!

Limmy, when said you were putting money on the cunts, did you mean to win the argument or to win the biggest wank competition?

Del has always been a bit of a wank but Al has done some tremendous work in this field lately. I don't mind Del so much now because Al is proving himself to be a potentially world class wankfuck.

"If I currently had a job and was living the high life, I wouldn’t have the time let alone the inclination to frequently comment on somebody else’s blog"


I'm not one for gossip but it looks to me Al that your jealous of Del.

Roach, I put money on him to win the argument, to destroy the opposition. Del's losing this one. And Jobbo's coming across as a total shitebag and needs to name names.

Right, fuck it. Del is a bawsack but see when he man's up a wee bit, it makes me wonder if he isnae really that much bigger a bawbag than any of the rest of us.

Al is going to lose, he doesn't know if his tongue's out or in his cheek, and I distrust the smiley heads.

Jobbo, you rock!

>So you study psychology too now? Is there anything you haven’t done?

No, I studied it from 1995 to 1997. Loads of stuff I've not done.

>The blog or people’s comments doesn’t give you a compulsion to lie, >your insecurities give you a compulsion to lie.

So until you prove that I'm a liar, am I a compulsive truther?

>The proof is in the pudding my friend. Something people don’t
>often realise is that the way people write things on the internet is a
>lot like body language, what they say and how they say it tells a lot
>about what they’re thinking and how their mind works.

Of course it does, but that doesn't prove I am a liar.

>If you actually did half the things you claim to do, you wouldn’t be >compulsively and consistently chronicling your activities in comments
>on another person’s blog. I do a lot in my life but I don’t compulsively
>write them in the comments section of other people’s blogs

Even if the blog post is about your plans and activities on a certain day? I've made badly judged mentions of my activities, but not on this one.

>Nobody gives a shit

Fine, but does that equally apply to everyone else's "I'm working this weekend" comments?

>I’d end up spending more time writing about it to an unreceptive
>audience than actually doing things.

Nonsense. I work on a boat. I'm only on this blog when I can't go ashore. The receptive audience is on my own blog, but I'm interested in other people on this blog so some are probably interested in me.

>If I currently had a job and was living the high life, I wouldn’t
>have the time let alone the inclination to frequently comment on >somebody else’s blog.

You'd find you feet quick enough.

>For somebody who travels the world and lives the high-life, you seem
>to blog about your activities in the comments section of Limmy’s blog >more than Limmy blogs about his own activities in his actual blog.

That's an exaggeration.

>You don’t act like a man of style and culture, you act like
>somebody who’s desperate for status and attention, and you write
>your stories in a way that’s atypical compulsive liar. That doesn’t
>mean everything you say is a lie, compulsive liars often intertwine
>truths and half-truths into their lies.

Al, straight question: Are you telling me I'm not in Florida?

We need one of those munching popcorn smileys. Gonnae post wan Limmy?

I'll see your £100 that Del wins, wholly based on the word 'ashore'.

"No, I studied it from 1995 to 1997. Loads of stuff I’ve not done."

It's rather convenient that you say you've studied psychology when I bring up psychology and human behaviour. To be fair I half expected you to say it, but I highly doubt that you have actually studied psychology on a practical level because you seem to lack an understanding of the concepts I've brought up. Let's give you the benefit of the doubt for a moment though, read over the comments you've made on several of Limmy's blog post and tell me what you see, from a psychologist's perspective.

"So until you prove that I’m a liar, am I a compulsive truther?"

Hardly. I only claim that you write like a compulsive liar, and that you do. You tell grand tales about your activities in a way that attempts to glorify your lifestyle.

"Of course it does, but that doesn’t prove I am a liar."

Nope but it does pain the picture of you being a compulsive liar. As I'm sure you know (being somebody who's studied psychology), compulsive liars don't simply outright lie, they weave a complex web of fabrications and half-truths in an attempt to promote their social status.

"Even if the blog post is about your plans and activities on a certain day? I’ve made badly judged mentions of my activities, but not on this one."

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

"Fine, but does that equally apply to everyone else’s “I’m working this weekend” comments?"

Yes people write about their activities, but they do it in a modest way, they don't write in a way that attempts to glorify what they're going to do.

"Nonsense. I work on a boat. I’m only on this blog when I can’t go ashore."

That part I don't doubt. I just don't believe your life is as grand as you try and make it out to be.

"You’d find you feet quick enough."

It's not about finding feet, it's about the fact that if I was a person living the high-life, I'd be constantly doing stuff and I'd be more interested in actually doing stuff than telling other people about it. If you're satisfied with your lifestyle why do you need to pimp it to other people? There's a difference between letting people know what you did or are going to do when they ask, and laying out your plans in great detail.

I'm going out to celebrate a mate's birthday this weekend. I could tell you about it in two ways, I could either say:

"We're going to dine in a fine Indian restaurant eating the finest curries made with the most flavoursome and expensive spices. And then we're going for a drink in a quaint local pub discussing the topics of the day while I peruse the local talent. I'll be using my Welsh accent to get the pants off the hot girls, but not only will I be getting a ride, I'm also going to try and get an invite to her family's Christmas dinner."

Or I could say:

"We're gonna go for a curry and a few drinks, it should be fun!"

Which of those comes across as being the most pretentious?

"Al, straight question: Are you telling me I’m not in Florida?"

Nope I'm not.

Just so you know, I base my opinion on everything I've seen you post, not just this thread.

Do you think anyone else has read that long as fuck post, Al?

Why don't you fuck off to del's blog and post your shitey fucking essay answers there?

JACK ENTERS THE ARENA!

Ahaha, I couldn't give a rats arse Jack, I was replying to Del. He took the time to break down my previous post, so I gave him the same courtesy. Always hilarious to see people getting riled up over the internet though, it's serious business you know! ;)

Ach, but come on, "Del Responds"!!!!!

I'm still getting over that....fucking unbelievable.....I think I might have new found respect for Del and his heed numbing audacity and his balls of steel etc.


"His attacks follow the 1, 2, 3 pattern I described earlier."

"Helpful support from Limmy and Fionaf."

I want to see weapons. Give us weapons Limmy.

And not some wanky immaterial thing like 'the power of coherent speech' or whatever. Actual fucking weapons. You are the Tina Turner to our Thunderdome.

...and the catholic church was worried that the internet would turn the world into a giant love-in orgy.

What the fuck's going on here? I'm busy with work for a few days and come back to Armageddon?

**rubs hands gleefully together and settles down to read with biscuit in hand**

Al, I think you should start a blog in retaliation to Del's.

So who's Mel Gibson?

But we've all put up with del for a while now, he's been accepted and is now tolerated. To an extent.

What we don't need is having to scroll through a 13252346737 word comment filled with pish like:

"You tell grand tales about your activities in a way that attempts to glorify your lifestyle"


"I was replying to Del"

Do it on his blog then, and don't contaminate this one.


":)"

Dave Says:
"I want to see weapons. Give us weapons Limmy."

We could have the Christmas party that Del suggested and it would give us an opportunity to fight toe to toe.

INT. OFFICE

The year is 2018. AL sits in a wood panelled office behind a large desk. A psychologist couch is in the corner. The phone rings.

AL: Hello
DEL: Al, its Del - fae Limmy's blog - before he started doing panto.
AL: I remember.
DEL: Good. For the last ten years I've been wondering about that cognitive bias you said I had and I think I need to get it sorted. I know its expensive and you charge by the hour, but I was thinking maybe two hours a week for a couple of months to see how things go.
AL: No need.
DEL: What? I did two years of psychology at uni, just introductory stuff, but interesting. I'm by no means saying I know everything about the subject, but surely to form an opinion of someone's personality problems, you'd have to spend a lot of time getting to the root of the problem. Its going to be expensive, but I'm willing to do it.
AL: No, Del. I've got the ability to form opinions on someone's mental health purely from the comments they leave on blogs. Just email the ones you read and I'll email you back the opinion.
DEL: Really, but is it accurate? Would you not be better meeting the person and finding out the facts in their life? Or at the very least, read their own blog? I might be really shy in real life or really aggressive, how would you know?
AL: Not sure how accurate it is, I'd have to know a lot more about you. I prefer this method of looking at comments. I will take into account of more than one thread though.
DEL: That's big of you. Remember you said my comments weren't modest, did you think we were in Victorian times? Where comments had to be buttoned up to the chin?
AL: Look, Del. I've got -
DEL: [interrupting] Requiem!! [slams down phone]

>We could have the Christmas party that Del suggested and it would give
>us an opportunity to fight toe to toe.

Do it. I'll be there. But no fighting, it would turn into a big love-in. We'd take pictures and it would look like the end of Police Squad.

'Al Says:

So who’s Mel Gibson?'

More importantly, who is the big spacker fuck?

Limmy, I think you need to make this Christmas bash a reality. I would travel to Weegieland from Aberdeen to see you chucking crowbars into a pit with Al, Ali, Del and Jack going at it.

Jack: I'm just a pawn in Limmy's game of chess, pay attention! Besides, it's not your blog it's Limmy's, he can moderate however he wants.

It's not hard to skip comments you don't want to read, and if you don't want to read arguments and debates why are you on Limmy's blog? He's been making posts to provoke thought and reaction since god knows when, that's why I read his read his blog lol.

Limmy, I told you it's organised:

The Social - 6.30pm 19th December

I'll be wearing ma steelies so it'll be toecap to toe.

And I'll be bringing ma Deca to write a message in Al's forehead for Del.

"I’m just a pawn in Limmy’s game of chess, pay attention!"



That has Del written all over it.

I think Al IS Del. He's trying to win us back by demeaning his alter-ego.

Ahaha, that would make me one sad fuck!

<img src="http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2008/03/Emperor-Palpatine.jpg"></img>

They know who they fucking are Limmy.
Del appears a pleasant guy who would be good company oan his boat.
The others are the types to use their superior intellectual skills to ridicule the ordinary punter.Scotlands fucking full of them they get a wee 3yr degree and they think they are fucking Cock of the North.
Just a thought,Happy Thanksgiving from Seattle.

Ahaha, that would make me one sad fuck!


Ye already 'ur.

My point exactly.

Jobbo, why don't you name these wee 3 year degree arseholes you're going on about? Just name a couple. Name one, even, let's get this show on the road.

"Ye already ‘ur."

Like getting your knickers in a twist over a bit of internet entertainment you mean?

"To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough, you are not."

I don,t want any fucking trouble mate.I,ve said too much already.
Its like the spanish inquisition did you work as an interrogator before Limmy.

Oops I missed Del's reply up there.

"The year is 2018. AL sits in a wood panelled office behind a large desk. A psychologist couch is in the corner. The phone rings."

Del: I take it you realise that a psychologist is not the same thing as a psychiatrist right?

Del,

I seriously think that you sit on your boat wanking off to the fact the people are slagging you on this blog. I imagine that you are so boring and uninteresting in real life that you have to get your attention from strangers on a blog, you do this by talking shite and putting yourself across really badly so that people get irritated like fuck by you and slag you off, hence you're sat there right now spunking on yourself and probably rubbing it in and bukkakeing your coupon. Get a life Del.

As for your last comment about the immigration guy's, I am sorry that I gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you might have common sense. Idiot.

aye. am away to get a big bag of mashmallows fur this. or a bag of tangerines.

Thanksgiving = Bowing thanks for stuff not Rowing wanks and stuff.

I shouldn,t make sweeping statements like that.Not everyone who has a 3yr degree or any other degree thinks they are intellectually superior.Its Just some Cunts.You are right Limmy to ask me to back that statement up with the perpertrators names real or imagined but they know who they fuking are.

reading this shite is like when you can see up a fat bird's skirt and see her drawers. you know it's not worth seeing, you know you shouldn't look, but you just cannae help having a wee squint.

Jules, I've heard you've got quite a taste for seamen.

Jobbo: who here has claimed that they have a 3 year degree in anything?

All the cunts are getting wound right up.

This is making me hate Del slightly less as I start to hate every other self-important cunt on here (that was up until he provided us with that wee script of his).

You want names, I'll give you names:

Al - Get a fucking job and stop posting screeds of shit on this blog. Who the fuck are you trying to kid with the smiley faces?
Jules - King of the Wanks, High Commisioner of Wankdom. Pure shite.
Jobbo - Spineless cunt. Name the names when yer telt.

Remember:

The Social - 6.30pm Friday 19th December 2008

See you all there.

"All the cunts are getting wound right up."

Irony. Quality! ;)

Where is this Social then? We're nae aw Weegies. And is Del back fae pumping Yankees by then?

Naw Roach wee man I think its you thats getting wound up.

Roach, I'm in. I don't give a fuck if this just a wind up. I'm in. I'll fucking be there. Its the Friday before Christmas so it will be mobbed, how will we recognise each other? What's it looking like for numbers so far? Get your finger out and whip up some interest.

Del, why don't you go and enjoy your life of style and culture instead of wanking over a keyboard? Just wondered.

Is that right Del? and where did you hear that?

Roach, Bolt, I'm not taking a slagging for slagging Del.

Roach that's clearly the time and location of your works christmas lunch/night oot and you just want some other cunts to come along.

Mulled wine for all at The Social on 19th December, with entertainment coming from Al and Del who'll be fighting with rusty knives in a battle for the love of the blogosphere!

Limmy, you have been named number 1 antagoniser to take over from Jeremy Kyle when wan o his scum audience finally realise who the villain is....an chibs him.

Ali Bongo, hen. What am I going to do with you eh, just when I thought you were feelin' the love, more giant snotters

I'm sorry that strangers feel compelled to shout bastard when you pass, no really I am, that was a great story. Can't wait for your next post, can you mention your pots of cash again, go on

Our flats are now apartments, our chemists are now pharmacies, our shops are now stores, our chips are now fries.

Tha'ts what you get for speaking English which is a foreign language to you in the first place, you should be Speaking Galic and become true nationalists, the Galic lanuage revival revolution starts here!

bongo this could be a yearly thing like the FHM hot 100, no?

I'd like to nominate myself for biggest wank on this blog. I was wanking the whole time it took me to read this post (about an hour).
Passive aggressive men just do it for me.


Al says
'Oops I missed Del’s reply up there.

“The year is 2018. AL sits in a wood panelled office behind a large desk. A psychologist couch is in the corner. The phone rings.”

Del: I take it you realise that a psychologist is not the same thing as a psychiatrist right?'

Al I take it you know that plenty of psychologists work with patients, they just can't prescribe?

Ha ha, that's right I'm so wound up. I'm like a coiled spring.

Eddiemunster, you're close.

Jules Says:

"Roach, Bolt, I’m not taking a slagging for slagging Del."

You clearly are.

Why the speech marks Ali b? Is that what I should be doing to improve my patter or become unpie like?

You're right though, I didn't know I was a pie, mmmmm tasty.

"Al I take it you know that plenty of psychologists work with patients, they just can’t prescribe?"

*claps* Well done captain obvious! Now read over Del's post again ;).

"Reading this shite is like when you can see up a fat bird’s skirt and see her drawers. you know it’s not worth seeing, you know you shouldn’t look, but you just cannae help having a wee squint."

Get out of my head.

Al, you're a twat.

I said "psychologist couch". It conveys the image I wanted to the reader. Its not incorrect, some clinical psychologists have a couch when they are working with a patient. I also know the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist, and its not related to office furniture.

Al's a wank anaw.. Del or Al? Who's the biggest one? I cannae decide. I'll sleep on it and get back when I've arrived at a conclusion.

"Tha’ts what you get for speaking English which is a foreign language to you in the first place, you should be Speaking Galic and become true nationalists, the Galic lanuage revival revolution starts here!"


Is that what they speak in Galicia?

"Al, you’re a twat."

I prefer the term cunt, but you're quite right. Some might even call me arrogant, but you can't complain about that. :P

"It conveys the image I wanted to the reader."

As a reader, the image it conveyed to me was a Hollywoodized psychiatrist's office, like you see in the films. Something I haven't seen in the local mental health system at least. And nobody else gives a shit, so your intention kind of failed there. Besides, I was being pedantic for the sake of effect. The fact remains that even though you claim to have studied psychology, you misunderstand some basic concepts about the way the human mind works.

Either way I'm not and never will be a clinical psychologist who treats patients, so you fail on that point too. :P

Now tell me Del, am I wrong? Do you have a high enough self esteem to not care what random strangers on the internet think? Are you satisfied enough with your life to not need to exaggerate and pimp it up to random strangers who couldn't care less?

And the winner is.......AL! By a fucking mile. He is mental. If he is actually mental I'm sorry, but c'mon.

Ditta: so what's a wank anyhoo?

I dread to think what might happen should you all meet up in The Social on December the 19th at 6.30pm.

Arguing about an imaginary situation is amazing.

Arguing about an imaginary situation on an internet comment board is even better.

Arguing about an imaginary situation on an internet comment board on a Friday night is just incredible.

Reading an argument about an imaginary situation on an internet comment board on a Friday night... well... I've changed my pants four times since the back of 4.

Al, you're a new breed of ringpiece. I love replying to your spoutings.

>the image it conveyed to me was a Hollywoodized psychiatrist’s office
I *know* Al. That's why I used it. Its a shorthand to make an image. FFS

>And nobody else gives a shit, so your intention kind of failed there.
Lets all realise that nobody gives a shit about any of this - its just a blog.

>claim to have studied psychology
Claim? Its a statement of fact, how can you prove its not?

>you misunderstand some basic concepts
Maybe I do, but you're the one telling me I'm a compulsive liar who doesn't actually tells lies, but writes like someone who does. You've nailed it.

>I’m not and never will be a clinical psychologist
I never said you were. I was satirising your approach to giving an opinion on my personality by only reading my blog comments.

>Now tell me Del, am I wrong?
Every. Single. Time.

I agree with Ditta.

Al, you're a wank. I don't like you. Ditta doesn't like you. Even "slag-me-to-fuck-and-i'll-still like-you, Del doesn't like you.
i doubt your friends like you
i doubt your family likes you.

i don't like you.

Am only new, but already its painfully obvious Al is a wank.
Remember am only new ye cannae pelter me yet

Del: Then why are you so antagonised? :P

Jack: Rage hard ;)

So was MENSA shut last night then, aye?

These mile-oots arguing about who is a bigger wank that who, is like the elephant man calling simon weston an ugly bastard.

just realised i mispelt "than" with "that". No doubt that will keep the patter-meisters amused for a few hours.

My dad moved to America a few years ago and I talk to him on internet sometimes.

He's went an married some woman who looks like Sally Jesse Raphael and says 'cell phone' when he means mobile.

I'm sending him some tartan shite for Christmas!

Moley, that reminds me of a Chewin The Fat sketch, the expats coming back from Canada for a visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q7t9AUuVSg

>eddiemunster Says:
>November 29th, 2008 at 10:04 am
>
>just realised i mispelt “than” with “that”. No doubt that will keep
>the patter-meisters amused for a few hours.

Limmy, ye taking that?

I was actually talking about pricks like you Del.

Al Says: Del: Then why are you so antagonised? :P

Because you claimed I was a compulsive liar. Did you not get that?

eddiemunster, you meant it would amuse Limmy because of his this/that/than, grammar and spelling checks. That's obvious.

Al and Del; get a room for fuck sake.

Tiffany Says:
I dread to think what might happen should you all meet up in The Social on December the 19th at 6.30pm.


I will literally be there.

Del.

SHUT.


THE..



FUCK....




UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






What a fuckin bore you are......

And thats the most exclamation marks I have EVER used.

Del: That's the same as me crying if you were to call me a faggot. It just ain't gona happen because a) I'm straight, and b) I'm comfortable with my sexuality. Why would I get riled over something that isn't true?

I stated that you were a compulsive liar because that's how you come across to me. It was an honest observation, like I originally said, I genuinely believe that you have some serious mental difficulties that drive you to desperately seek out acknowledgement. I'm sorry if that touches on a raw nerve but that's reality, and you're not doing much to convince me otherwise.

I asked you:

"am I wrong? Do you have a high enough self esteem to not care what random strangers on the internet think? Are you satisfied enough with your life to not need to exaggerate and pimp it up to random strangers who couldn’t care less?"

and you replied:

"Every. Single. Time."

Yet you clearly do care what random strangers on the internet think. You've proven that repeatedly. I've been testing you through this whole thing to see what responses you give, and I have to say you've passed with flying colours. You've done nothing but behave in character. Of course you're not going to admit to being a compulsive liar or being mentally deficient, that question wasn't to ask for your honest answer, it was to gauge your response.

That's what I do, I formulate opinions based on experience, and then I test them through interaction. People's minds are fun toys! :P

Yes I'm a 'wank', do I care? Nope. I only care about the opinions of people who prove their opinions to be valuable, and let's be fair, most of the tools throwing 'wank' around can't even figure out that they're being played.

Quality entertainment! :D

Al!

SHUT.

THE..

FUCK….

UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a fuckin bore you are anaw……

Al, you called me a compulsive liar and I challenged you to explain it. That's it. I'm not upset. I don't care, because you're just a bunch of people on a blog. I think most normal people only care about opinions of real people in their lives.

I'm not glamourising my life, I've mentioned nice places I've been, but I've not lied. But you're only looking at selected evidence. What about all the shit things? You've not considered them. Like I said in that little scene, if you don't read the stuff I've written about being seasick, the boredom of being at sea, the lack of contact with the outside world, being away from family and friends all the time, sitting here on a Sunday afternoon working. Those are all shit and the biggest reason most people won't do my job. But you've ignored them and only considered stuff I've said on this blog and only about Venice or the Bahamas. Its bad science when you ignore relevant evidence.

>People’s minds are fun toys! :P
>can’t even figure out that they’re being played

Do you think you're some kind of puppet-master?

>Quality entertainment! :D

Let's not kid ourselves, we look like a could of dicks here. Its not entertainment, its more like a freak show. The few people reading this post are saying "fuck sake". There are plenty people who read anything I write here having already pre-judged me before reading it. People might not like me or agree with me, but you're the first to say I'm a liar and then offer the biggest lot of shit by way of an explanation.

Your smiley faces make my piss boil. (Don't mistake this for care or upset, its just a figure of speech.)

"Premise that I don't care"

"Thesis for why I do"

Get over it already.

"Do you think you’re some kind of puppet-master?"

No my friend, I am not the puppet master of this show. ;)

Can youz two no pop over to Dels wee blog and really hash it out. Winner comes back, loser fucks off forever?

Smart money on Del. I'm really only commenting again to try out my gravatar

See now that there's big Gravatars, I think Al uses so many smileys to compensate for being such a hard man in the real world.

Blog looks good, eh?

You look quite handsome in your gravater Del, just noticed since Limmy has made the wee pics bigger.

but amm no a fuckin buftie ok?

wis jist sayin likes.......

I'm getting a Patrick Duffy vibe off Del... What you got cookin Del???

Lads, please leave my sexual allure out of this - for everybody's sake.