Craig thats called a speed wank, 0-Sticky in 3.5.....

I was out this morning driving up the M77 and had the urge to rip one off at 70mph

Jaysus - that looks like a pound of mince tied up with string!

# Wheely Says:
December 22nd, 2007 at 1:25 am |

“lol i have kinda similar black dress….”

Get a picture posted! I need some material for ma danger wank.

haha only for the one i love :=)

She looks like she needs a hip replacement no ?

"lol i have kinda similar black dress…."

Get a picture posted! I need some material for ma danger wank.

lol i have kinda similar black dress....

Jings, it's fucking hard typing and wanking at the same time

The Tina Turner lookalike has been very inspirational.

an 'eary wank' is also referred to as either a 'seance wank' or 'doris strokes' - essentially, you are burping the worm while also having the feelings of an 'other worldly' experience (like dead relatives watching you etc). i also used to like the 'crescent wank' - again, you are rolling your own, but this time kneeling down with your favourite grumble magazines arranged in a semi circle around you. kleenex anyone?

A Cinncinati Bow Tie. When someone has one of those tracheotomy throat holes and a man puts his junk in it and shags it....

Merry Christmas all!!!

Danger Wank is a classic game that I feel everyone should try.

Theres also Shwanking which is beating the meat in the shower. Saves time on the old clean up lol

I've never heard of a terror wank, but I've heard of a fury wank.

I've only recently found out what gerbilling is, this is a minefield of knowledge in here

This is fuckin hilarious.

a terror wank. quality.

chimping- the frankly unlikely act of shiting in ones hand mid shag and hitting ones partner with it.

Ever had a terror wank?

Frantically rubbing one out while screaming blue murder.

Refreshing so it is.....

See you at the show, Showgirl!

Mum???

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

Of course Lynn, I mean what sort of a sicko would use someone else's jobby to poke with!?

A blumpkin! haha I am picking up some quality new patter to confuse my workmates with tomorrow.

"geez a blumpkin wi' ma tea please Marie"

Brilliant.

Getting a blow job while having a shit is called a Blumpkin.

Not just any old jobby, eddiemuster, spacedocking is poking someone with your own jobby.

As long as it wasn't google images you were looking at Lynn. If so, you need to burn your computer.

Spacedocking is the ancient art of poking someone off with a jobby.

At which stage of the relationship do you broach THAT particular subject I wonder?

eddiemunster, I know what space docking is because I just looked it up in Google. Good old Google.

space docking- involves a jobby, a freezer and tinfoil
a rusty trombone- blowing up a guys ass while givin him a reacharound
a manhattan transfer- shitin intay some1 elses arse

I swear i have never tried any of these practices.

an eary wank? hahaha brilliant.
ye familiar with a danger wank?

what the fux a moonbed?

Matt I can't say that I have, but you've just planted a seed that could spoil my future wanking career! Cheers for that! :o)

Ever had an eary wank? Midway through flopping the dolphin you suddenly get that feeling a dead relative is watching you.

"C'mon tae fuck Granny!! needs must and that. Gonna bolt!"

Ha ha fuckin hilarious this post, only in in a limmy forum could you go from a tina turner impersonator to space docking, haha, what is it anyway, im away for a moonbed

eddiemunster Says: "space-docking"

If it is what I think it is, it's also known as a "Monroe transfer".

A "rusty trombone" is something else as well.

Rusty trombone, fucking brilliant.

Has anyone ever heard of an even more sinister practice, known as "space-docking"

I won't tell you what it is now, instead I'll wait to see if anyone else knows.

shanking - wanking while doing a shite

Who has ever actually done that?

"shanking - wanking while doing a shite"

Can't remember...is that nicknamed a "Cleveland Steamer" or a "Rusty Trumbone"?

Must look that up.

the men come to these places
and the men are all the same
you dont look at their braces
and you dont call them names

lynn, thats also known as 'icing the log'.

I wonder if she was alone in an empty hoose and she farted............................................would it smell?

Simply the beast...

shanking - wanking while doing a shite

Yous aw fucking would, ya bunch ah tarts.

I bet she stinks of Impulse Merely Musk....and fags.

and her left leg is smaller that her right, she'd walk with a hobble and that'd put me right off. her tits look no bad though...

you don't look at the mantle piece when you're poking the fire is what one of the guys in work says to me about his wife, what a mantra to live by.

What's love got to do with it?

King Rossco Says:

December 19th, 2007 at 4:20 pm |
Turkish hookers aren’t angry, they’re passionate.

They are particularly passionate when you cum on their tits and then announce you have no money.

Turkish hookers aren't angry, they're passionate.

ahahahahhah i just got well caught on the web in work cos i burst out laughin. oh well.
anyways, aye, i would.
also, years ago in motherwell i saw a poster for a meatloaf tribute act with the tagline 'hes a real dead ringer for loaf'.

and-
cranking=wanking and crying i.e.over a recent ex.
scranking=wanking and crying while lying on your side.

Wanking and screaming? Scranking.

Fletch you've captured me! I've been rubbing one out to her angry turkish-hooker looks since the picture was posted!

Eddiemunster, I think you might be protesting a bit much. I reckon you're well into that. And let's face it, who isn't? I'm off to have a wank to that picture and one of the real Tina, next to each other, pretending it's some kind of threesome.

Does anyone know a euphemism for wanking and screaming at the same time?

Well I think she looks quite nice.

Ike died just last week but I see he was even slappin the tribute acts in the coupen as well.

Mad Max beyond ma thunderthighs.......boalk!!!!

http://martidog.wordpress.com/

Out of interest, has anyone ever had a wank about Tina Turner? The real one, I mean, no that picture of your maw up there.

Limmy, how did you resist the urge to draw a big hairy cock on the picture?

hahaha disco fanny!

I don't know about that, she would have a fanny like a badger's back though!

Singing for 4 hours at a pensioners christmas party, you manage to hook up with her, take her home and low and behold...she has 'disco fanny'!!
no nice.

p.s Private Dancer is my personal favourite..................korny or what???

Hey Limmy, Just recently discovered u a cpl of months ago, became a fan very quickly, now ur on our youtube at every party after the dancin, cheers :)
Just 2 let u know, that Tina Turner woman is also a Stripogram, the reason I know this is bcoz I've done a Gig down south with her a cpl of years ago, when I sang backing vocals with a Meatloaf tribute act called "Peatloaf" and she told me she was also a Stripper, as I also do Kisso/Stripograms it came up in the covno, I like 2 give myself a wee plug everywhere I go (u know how it is...........showbiz :D) shes actually quite good as a tribute act, shudder at the thought of her getting her bubbly jubbly's out though, anyways looking forward 2 seeing u on sunday the 23rd march, if u know anyone looking 4 a Stripper, gimme a shout!!! xx The Glasvegas Showgirl xx
www.myspace.com/theglasvegasshowgirl

check the size of her Frankie Vaughns, you would feel inadequate with one of those mitts wrapped around yer wee man.

I'm no aw that fussed, to be honest.

I wonder if she does children's parties...

she's a professional javelin-catcher

you cannae beat a bit a brass !

Talk about 10 ton of shite in a 5 ton bag!

he/she looks like she's ready to squeeze a fart oot. there will be a bubble at the arse of her binbag if he's no' careful.

would

Tranny in a binbag.

He/she is saying "pit it in there noo! If it disnae touch the sides ah'll punch yer cunt in"