They public toilets on the corner of Buchanan Street and St. Vincent Street in Glasgow.
I nip into them now and again, but recently they closed and the sign said “Closed for refurbishment”. I was like that: FUCK.
But that’s them open now. Sorta.
They’ve went and fucking shut them and opened up public PAY toilets next to it.
Lying, scummy bastards.
Cheating, lying bastards! They did this in Liverpool after we got a load of funding for the 'Capital of Culture' thing in 2008.. Can't go for a piss without taking your credit card out with you, now!
Fuck sake, ah don't know how you can bring yourself to go into a toilet in the middle of Buchanan Street, effectively declaring to half the population of Glasgow that ye're away for a tam kite! No' for me thanks, I'll stick to hauding it in till I get up to Smacky D's on Sauchiehall Street.
How much are they charging for a piss then?
Oh yes the common PayPee.
You're a toilet.
Sorry, couldn't resist.
What did you do when you used to go in them Limmy?
To Scotland! Where we do what we want.
Isn't this just a roundabout way of pointing out that even cottaging can't escape the “credit crunch”?
On a separate note, I became a dad today. 3 weeks paternity leave started today and I've had 2 hours sleep since 7am Tuesday morning. But I fuckin love it. There's a beautiful wee girl who's going to grow up with my digestivey-biscuit napper.
I think you will find that they are infact called “The St. Vincent street toilets”
and alot of pushin in of stools goes oan in there.
Xander: Liberation
I must admit that due to having the bladder of a gnat, I would gladly use that particular convenience from time to time. If only for the nostalgia of carbolic soap. I am envious of folk that can be fussy about where they 'go'.
Public toilet provision in general is appalling, I was on a bus during the summer that stopped at Inverary & some of the tourists on board just went over the barrier in disbelief that they were to pay to piddle.
Congratulations Mr McVitie, have you named her yet?
It's Xander's fault.
Congratulations Roach.
Public toiletes…… i would rather shit in a crisp poke.
Congratulations Roach, although I'm sure you could have timed it better. I'd hate my dad if he announced my birth under a blog headed 'Buchanan Street Public Toilet” (even though this is probably where I was conceived).
they've done the same with the toilets on Sauchiehall St. though Im hoping that with the extra dosh they'll invest in some febreeze from the poundshop to get rid of the stink of pish at the ramp round there
just piss yourself , then block all the coin holes up with your shit ,
Congratulations, Roach!
Congrats
That's what McDonalds is for, no? Taking a shite
The best thing about public toilets is the graffiti- not so good these days tho'- two men walking a breast and young man wanted- classic. Can you put up the 'louder you scream/ office chair' bit the BBC cut from iplayer in episode 3 (I think). Did the Human League's record company get arsey about it? Ta!
I thought that toilet was for gays only.
I wonder if it will still reek of pish now that you have to pay for the pleasure.
Anyway, the correct terminology for doing a poo in McDonalds is, having a “McShite”.
It's not called a “poo”, it's called a shite.
A fucking “poo”, when have we ever called it a fucking “poo”?
Cheers for the congrats people. As for any of my children getting to see this blog, well, that's not going to happen. No offence Limmy.
I will raise them using the Shawshank Redemption method. Anytime someone mentions the internet or a website I will be acting like, “Whit's an internet?” and “Website, is that where spiders build there hooses?”
Thats a topper, well observed Galvanizer. Congrats anyway Roach.
I call it a poo when talking to my weans, saying shite in front of them doesn't sound to great, is that all fucking right?
It's a jobby, then.
Where i come from (Skye) the council lock up the toilets completely come winter, once all the tourists have fucked off home. It seems us locals only need to shit and piss when it's warm out. Arse pieces!
I used them last night for the first time, only 'cause I was getting the bus and sack sitting on that for 40mins about to pish myself. About 2mins I was in for, 2mins for 20p and most of that time was spent waiting for the door to close. What's the world coming to.
Should have rubbed one off to get my moneys worth.
Congratulations Roach! My baby girl was 8 weeks on Friday, and every day is brilliant, we're having a ball! What did you call her? If you need to find a specific item of clothing for your little one I'M YER WUMMIN.
I always use the toilets in Debenhams or Marks and Spencer, they're much nicer and I'd imagine there'd be much less confusion about who is cottaging and who isnae.
great news, Roach. Not so good about the sleep bit but you'll get used to it
I just realised willziak said 'when it's warm out' and not 'outside'. I'm not that bothered about Americanisms but that one gets to me a bit. Sorry willziak but you're getting pulled up for that one.
Thanks Matilda & Sonia. Sleep hasn't been a ploblem for me since that comment as the wife & baby are still in hospital. I hope they come home tomorrow.
As for toilets, well, the Southern General male bogs are a fucking state. Mostly because I had the tex hitters yesterday.
I haven't had the pleasure of using those toilets yet. The only other pay toilets i've used in town are the ones at central; 30p! And for what, a dyson hand dryer? Caus the rest ae it is a shithole.
Pardon the pun.
Limmy dont worry about it, Just nip over to queen street toilets where your suppose to pay 20p, but the things broke n ye get in free
I was having a shite in the Central Station toilets when, all of a sudden, there was a bit of a noise 'next door'. Some wee ned had obviously jumped the barriers and the guard wasn't having it. “Get oot, ye jumped the barriers wee man”, “A put in 20 pence”, “Naw ye didnae get oot”, “Aye a did”, “GET OOT NOW!!!”, then the wee dick played his trump card “Look I'm pissing noo, I'm awready pissing”. The guard had no reply to this and just let him continue.
WHITS THE PLOBLEM ?
I managed to get into the toilets at Central for free once. I had no change, the change machine was broke, I pointed to my pregnant belly and said to the cleaner: “I'll just pee on the floor then, shall I? You're nearby with a mop so I'm sure you'll have it cleaned up in no time.” He was quite quick in opening the barrier…
Sonia, apparently if you're pregnant the law allows you to pish anywhere you want. So I've been told.
I work in the building opposite this, so watched the transformation over a few months of fag breaks.
The old building looked the part. It had intricate wooden features and belonged where it did.
The new one looks like it's been made in Google Sketchup by some Council worker's nephew. Big fucking functional concrete slab.
They recently added stickers on it to make it look a bit less Soviet, but it has just cheapened it even more – like when you add a decal to your shite phone.
I wish folk would stop coming into those toilets and interrupting me/us when I/we are trying to have a good auld cottage/bungalow in peace/carrots.
Always good when your in town choking for a slash and you are like SHIT!!!
tapping yourself down for 20 pences…. nightmare
Edi is much worse though I was in a toilet there that puts the trainspotting on to shame!! was MANK! black water, WTF black water, no soap, no bog roll… probably would have been more hiegenic to piss ma self….
saw you on the culture show doing the american werewolf sketch and have liked you ever since you are a fucking breath of fresh air im sick of the generic scottish pish thats on tv ie rab c and chewin the fat hope you get a new series brian good luck ps do you play cod on the xbox or ps3
that's pish!
That's true, I peed in many weird and wonderful places when I was pregant just because I could and noone could stop me.