And make it convincing.
I’ll start.
I love Blur. They weren’t like any other band of the Britpop era, they were experimental and unpredictable. How can one band produce an upbeat summer anthem like Girls and Boys, and then produce the orchestral genius of Universal? So varied, like the Beatles, never resting. (No band beats the Beatles, but Blur are definitely up there with them and the Stones)
And another thing. Damon, Graham and Alex get criticised sometimes for looking so arrogant and nonchalant, but if you had seen it and done it all, you’d hate everyone as well. I love them.
Your turn.
I love Eastenders. The plot is just so mind-blowing and thought provoking, I’m on the edge of my chair by the end of every episode. I even watch omnibus on Sundays just to remind myself of the week’s events on the soap. The actors are just fantastic. The drama and passion they put into every sentence sends shivers down my spine. Sometimes I wet myself a little as I don’t want to miss any part of the show, not even for the toilet. Actors on Eastenders, like Steve McFadden, deserve BAFTAS for the performances they put in. The writers? Well, just give them whatever they need. They’re my heroes the way they can express ‘real life’ into the script. I love it!
Limmy, i mean, he’s out there. He’s just so out there at the mo. And the best thing is i think he’s good at what he does, he’s really awright. I would obviously give him five stars if he ever released any youtube videos, but his live shows are to die for, i mean he’s just fantastic at what he does, he’s really good.
I love the killers.
They are a band who breakdown walls in music. They get compared to the likes of bands like the pet shop boys. But people are not noticing the lovely melody to the lyrics alongside the hard drums yet symphonic synth.
Also with a name like brandon flowers you know your a great guy.
Transformers the movie.
I loved it. A pure action-packed big popcorn movie. It’s what a summer blockbuster movie should be.
Those who diss it are missing the point, don’t analyse a fun kids movie, enjoy it for what it is, an orgy of action and colour, with a bit of crumpet thrown in for the Dads.
Rangers and Celtic or ‘The Old Firm’ are truly two of the greatest institutions that Scotland or indeed the British Isles as a whole have ever produced.
Acting as great ambassadors for the country wherever they travel be it the orange groves Tel Aviv, the picturesque streets of Seville or Picadilly Square Manchester, they show everything that is great about Scotland and in particular Scottish Football fans.
It would truly be a tragedy to the SPL if they were to piss off to the Premiership, Europa League or whatever tin pot idea is being bandied about by messrs Murray and Reid this week and got roundly pumped by every opponent that they faced.
Hazel Blears MP is a fine upstanding, no, sorry, too fucking difficult.
I’ll try again.
4 x 4 drivers are excellent examples of people who aren’t afraid to show off their justly self-made wealth. They have a thorough sense of decency by the fact that they will spend that money in protecting their children on the school run. They’re also polite and courteous road users.
Limmy,
That is so convincing that I think you may actually love Blur. In fact I think this is like a double negative, or something…
Cannae beat a bit o’ cock.
I don’t think we’ve seen the best of Michelle Mone yet. Let’s hope she goes into politics – she is one of this generation’s deep thinkers.
Saying Rangers fans were great ambassadors in Manchester or that Eastenders is so good that you pish yourself a wee bit with the excitement is NOT CONVINCING.
NO SARCASM.
LET’S HAVE SOME BLURRING OF EDGES HERE.
I love Loose Women.
I love the fact that they’re not afraid to berate men, other women, children, their husbands, other women’s husbands, their children, other peoples’ children etc., right there on TV. I think it’s great that ITV have allowed these four women, of blatant superior intellect, to take over their channel for five days a week, from 12.30 in the afternoon.
Some of them can be argumentative and stubborn but, by the end of the episode, they’ll usually be agreeing with the opposition. I think this wonderful display of Devil’s advocacy shows inner peace and an ability to respect other people and their views, although some people think it comes across as spineless and fickle.
When I watch Loose Women, it stops me from feeling so empty and worthless as, considering the time that it is on, I am obviously not in education nor am I working. Loose Women makes me feel warm inside – it’s like having four extra mothers in the afternoon, screaming at you through the TV set to sort your life out, break up with your boyfriend, drown a child, hug a paedophile and buy a new dress.
i love the way oor guys are fighting a real war in afghanistan, none o this floating aboot in helicopters above it a’ pish. the sheer adrenalin rush o walkin along on open road no knowin if it will be yir last step or no must be the ultimate buzz. ahm only sorry ahm too auld tae dae it maself
i would love josef fritzl to be my dad
I respect and admire recruitment consultants and the recruitment industry greatly. Our employment market is kept running by these professionals, constantly refreshing the talent that is vital to the future of the UK’s industry. They tirelessly seek out new recruits and won’t stop until they find the right person for the job, and at the right price. They perform an extremely demanding job for modest rewards, and thet don’t receive the recognition they deserve. It is about time we stopped taking this industry for granted and trumpeted it as the valuable asset that it rightly is.
I love the United Kingdom. This great bastion of democracy is a good partnership for Scotland to be a part of, which would not have anywhere near the influence it has if it were independent, being too small to do anything on its own. Being in a union with England, Wales and Northern Ireland ensures that Scotland sits at the top table in Europe, and being drawn up as a partnership of equals, ensures that Scotland remains a top priority at Westminster, and is given a fair share of UK resources.
We also have a marvellous figurehead in the Queen, and we are the envy of the world in the rest of the royal family. Our passports remind us Scots that we are British, subjects of her majesty, and the rest of the world better not forget!
Razorlight. Seen them playin’ live on the telly the other night, was really happy to see them and how they engaged the crowd. Many people see Johnny and put him down for being arrogant n’ that but it’s all part of his character. They’re new album is a step forward, it is different. Really, really can’t wait to see them playin Glasgow again but, just put on a great show every time.
Any better?
Ahahaha, I fucking love this.
I love lung cancer. Not just any old lung cancer, but the particularly delightful squamous non small-cell carcinoma variety.
I cherish the memory of the biopsy results in December and the expression on my mum’s face when she was informed she’d have terminal cancer for Christmas. A special time. A time to celebrate life and embrace those dear to you.
She wanted to go outside her house and see the Christmas decorations from the street on Christmas Eve. Standing outside in the street with my mum and sister is a moment I choose never to forget, as in the coming months my mum completely lost her mind and died.
does tree beard mean he CAN beat a bit o’ cock? if so he should try #wankwednesday on twitter.
hahaha the Razorlight one is great.
I love when you phone your bank’s customer services and it’s someone in an Indian call centre who answers. It’s a massive buzz to know that you’re actually communicating with someone who’s on a different continent to you and whose first language isn’t English.
I love rock n roll, put another dime in the juke box baby.
I love the way it makes me feel on a saturday night.
Chris Martin off of Coldplay. He really is the best human being on the planet. I love the charty work he does, he’s such a giving man. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t love Chris Martin. The way he sings has opened my eyes and made me realise that Coldplay are the best band in the…
Sorry Limster, I can’t fucking do it, I fucking hate him! Die Chris Martin, Die! Cunt!
I love the Scottish, they are so cheerful and self assured. Always first to congratulate themselves, never wallowing in self pity, they are truly masters of thier own destiny and never whine about anything. They live a healthy lifestyle, salivate over salads, frown at frying and the very words “Drink in moderation” were modelled on the loving relationship between your average Scot and alchohol.
erm… I’ll get me coat.
HAHAHA
I like Big Brother because I like to watch cunts with hollowed out skulls confronting or avoiding confronting each other about petty vacuous bits of fuck all
I love religion. It gives hope and a sense of belonging for a lot of people who have not been dealt the best cards in life. And what they teach doesn’t really do any harm does it?
I absolutely love ‘Skins.’ It’s the only programme out there that isn’t afraid to just … go there, you know? I love how much I can relate to the crazy, off the wall, yet realistic, adventures the gang get up to. My favourite bits include the controversial topics of gay and lesbian teenagers and how they are all just misunderstood by the world because, lets admit it, we’ve all been drowning in teen angst at least once in our lives. If its quirky nature and impulsive ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude isn’t the makings of a good TV programme then I don’ know what is! However, out of all the episodes my favourite scene is the end of the second series where they all go off to university, giving out hope that these people are actually going to be able to hold down some sort of stable lifestyle and serious job in the future. Bring on 2010 and series 4!!!
I love being a vegan, it’s cruel to breed animals for our food. Animals are sentient, and that this is sufficient to grant them moral consideration. There is no moral justification for refusing to take sentient animal suffering into consideration in ethical decisions. So next time you decide to have cornflakes remember the suffering of the cow that gave you the milk.
I love katie price.
I’m really worried about her mental state just now especially with the divorce and she is trying to put a brave face on and pretending to be having a good time in ibiza. She clearly cares for her kids. Totally not exploitation of a disabled child.
From my heart of hearts I love katie price.
I love Airdrie FC. I particularly love the section of their support that call themselves ‘Section B’. They don’t sit back and just go with the flow. They stand up for what they believe in. Good on them I say. They believe in racial hatred. Yeah! Casual violence. Go guys! They’re not ashamed to wave the union flag and exclaim their alliegence to the throne and this fine monarchy that is The Brittish Isles. God bless the Queen! God bless Section B! God bless every single hate filled one of you.
I love Bruce Springsteen. He’s just like me only he can play in front of hundreds of thousands of folk and charge them a fair whack for the privilege. I mean, we’re the same that’s mainly why I love him; he’s a regular guy and I’m a regular guy. He sings about regular things like cars and roads and being born to run and dancing in the dark. The only people that could possibly not love Bruce are probably people without legs because they werenae ‘born to run’. He’s just such a cool guy, all the banter about him being the boss is good too.
I can tell as well that I’m going to love meeting up with folk over the next couple of weeks and have them tell me how good it was seeing the big man live. I’ll pretend I’m not interested but deep down I’ll be fuming because I just love him so much.
Following the ‘musical’ theme…I love U2. I love Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jnr.
I admire Bono’s perspective on life and his opinions on the world, I only wish he would speak up more and let the whole world know his message. He could also paint his thoughts onto his fist like Chris Martin does in Coldplay (another love). I wonder if he names his children after fruit… I love that too.
I have to go now and listen to with or without you for the millionth time.
Forget all of the above, I love Gwyneth Paltrow.
PEREZ HILTON & STEPHEN HAWKING
I love being unemployed right now. I love the fact it’s not just me but millions of people looking for work, I really feel part of a team. I love how hard it is to find something and when you apply for it they have had so many responses that they don’t get back to you for a month. I love going to the dole office all you do is sign your name and that’s you getting paid. I love the fact people think your a work shy wee turd cause my confidence is sky high. I love that depressed feeling you get when you realise you haven’t had to work for months and have nothing to show for it. I love the fact I can’t afford to go on holiday this year with my mates cause secretly I love my wee town I have stayed in all my life.
I took a particularly distinct pleasure in wandering around Edinburgh for five lovely days viewing all the fine pieces of property on offer and dealing with all the fine human specimens who add to our world constructively by bearing the proud vocation of estate agent. I particularly like their well crafted tone, the way they coddle me and fill me with the reassuring memories of being a simple child and treat me with all the support and understanding that a fine bum bag attired, recent recipient of a passport citizen of the US of A deserves. I am reassured that I am ensured the same support and protection in any dwelling with more than 500 people in the western world.
I especially delight in the thought of paying them £350 for their hard work making a phone call to one of their brethren. The thought of sipping on the fine Cava whilst reading my personalised printed welcome card in my new home having signed the check for the privilege of joining such an exclusive club fills me with feeling of safety and proud acceptance.
I look forward to the days when I receive the key to own personal garden within my gated community in Suffolk. Only then will I truly feel the warmth and security I crave. I cannot wait until I can give up the burden of my humble possessions and be released into the freedom of my supported living community. To feel that; should I fall or need assistance of any kind that someone who cares for me will be there to see me right.
It is the feeling that I don’t have to look after myself any more that makes each day slightly more delightful.
I have heard the Morrocan people see us to be gauche and pure, I agree, what finer complement than to leave behind all that outrageous beastliness of being a filthy animal and to be smothered by the warm breast of civilisation.
Thank you for your time.
I love you.
I love Britain’s youth on a whole today. Charming young girls and boys that are just waiting to help you into the car with your shopping. Where all these statistics about knife crime have crime have from I haven’t a clue.
i love ‘love’ itself!
the great warm tingly feeling when you hold someones hand, look into there eyes and realize there and then that this person could very well be that special person that you personally choose to spend your whole life with! the type of person you would even sacrifice your own kidney for! or not caring about whos side of the beds whos!
that feeling of trust and warmth you get that overcomes all your senses to the extent you think fuck a prenuptial agreement!
the feeling that makes valentines day make sense, and makes you feel comfortable buying a stuffed teddy bear that sayd “i heat u” on it for you new found life partner!
ahhh, love!
this may make me seem like a cold bastard, but for a online blog, i shall take the risk…
God I hate porn… erm wrong thread.
opps, i ment
“i heart you” ***
not i “i heat you”
I love John Leslie and admire his ability to make a rape-rack out of empty cereal boxes, dry macaroni and glitter
i love the fact weve become such a tolerant society, and dont get so hung up about such minor misdemeanours as folk who cycle on the pavements anymore. i think the growing realization amongst us that all these cyclists are doing is showing a bit of common sense by keeping themselves safe from the increasingly dangerous and overcrowded roads and displaying a commendable sense of the value of their own lives,makes for a far more civilized society
i love how that one about lung cancer was a bit too detailed to be concidered made up
Organised religion really keeps me going. If it wasn’t for the fear of burning in Hell for all eternity, I’d be stabbing & robbing like nobody’s business. I feel as though I’m often morally unsure of certain things in life – but the 2,000 year old scriptures are still refreshingly relevant today. It gives me a sense of belonging and brings meaning to the chaos of life.
Although some people might claim that my supernatural beliefs are illogical, they are ignoring the fact that it really feels nice. I’d rather be happy & deluded than depressed & informed.
Continual fear, and my Lord & savior Jesus Christ have kept me on track all of these years. I will always love him.
–
PS Patrick Monkey – You fae Clydebank aye? Haha.
Say what you like about sexy pin-up Katie Price. If it wasn’t for her contribution to the UK beauty scene we would never have been blessed with the likes of Jodie Marsh. Katie, aka Jordan, has raised the standards among the young ladies of this great nation, and without her our appreciation of similar celebs such as Jade Goody (god bless her soul) would never have been.
Let’s just pray her and Peter can get things sorted out, for the sake of the kids.
I love corporate bullshit double-speak. There’s nothing more satisfying than a good meeting and displaying my finely-honed dynamism in front of the European Director of managment.
While I feel that my family aren’t as quick on the uptake as I’d like, I still love them. I question whether they still love me, though. I’m unsure. It’s such a quagmire, but I do like to promote synergy, especially after Sunday Lunch. Let’s get these dishes done, guys!
Sometimes, I find myself in my car, in my garage with a hose connected to the exhaust, but my cheeky kids always find me.
Those days are to be embraced every year and serve as a reminder of how far I have come as a person.
Everytime I see Al murray do the pub landlord – I just have to pinch myself, seriously, never has one man had such a strange effect on me. I can quite honestly say that bill hicks has nothing on Al, He is a comedy genius, his timings, his deliver, his creative content – I can really see why he is still touring with this sketch its unique and consistently ground breaking. As you can imagine I was absolutely ecstatic to learn that Al was gracing us with his almight presence this year at the fringe.
Cannot wait
I really love Jeremy Clarkson. He is the epitome of AWESOMENESS. You see his controvertial but entertaining dedication to the car industry. Truly special guy. He’s the reason my TV is on on sundays at 8pm. He’s the reason i went to bed early on saturday, so sunday could come quicker. He’s the reason i slept in on sunday, so sunday evening could come quicker.
He’s from yorkshire, but did he vote for BNP? no.
He’s got wrinkles, but does he care? no.
Just the other day i was about to put a plastic bottle into the recycling box. Then i thought , ‘what would ole jeremy do?’ I then put it in the bin.
He has SO many qualities AND contradictions. Racist but anti Nazi. Sexist but thinks women should be able to drive, as long as dinner’s on the table at half 5. Chortle.
Love the guy. LOVE the guy. Fuckin love him.
Religion is brilliant. It’s so progressive and open-minded. My moral compass would be swingin wildly without it.
I just love Glasvegas. I love how James Allan just portrays a true essence of Glasgow through his lyrics. I cannot think of a band better than them to see live.
Not only that but you got to give the guy some credit for that hair of his. I don’t know how much hair gel he uses but I have to say, he’s looking good.
I love Sex and the City.
Just seeing all the girls parade around with confidence on the merry tranquil streets of New York brings me so much joy. I love how they eat out at restaurants for every meal of the day whilst finding the time to earn the mega bucks that pays for their “fabulous” life style. The guys in the show are so like real life guys, it was only last week I was down Possilpark and I saw Possil’s version of Mr Big trying to woo his lady with rose’ wine and a tray of chips and cheese.
I love how all the cool girls down Royal Exchange Square go to the bar and order the “fabulous” cocktails from the bar man, I love waiting the 20 minutes it takes for him to pour these drinks. I only wanted two pints, but no, I’ll wait.
The only thing I don’t like is the change in attitude towards sex in young women nowadays. I mean they’ll do anything?.
woohoo i finaly saw u when i went by the western on the bus . me n ma pal nearly smashed the window to get ur attention at least u waved lol
Hey, has anyone seen Bruno yet? It’s fucking amazing, even better than Borat. It’s probably one my favourite comedies, maybe one of my fave films.
Its class. In one scene he gets arrested for walking about in bondage gear with a man strapped to his back. Also, he goes on some talk show and tells all these stupid Americans that he’s calling his adopted African baby ‘OJ’. Genius.
I thought Sacha Baron Cohen would’ve run out of ideas by now but he’s definitely Britain’s best comic. Can’t wait to see what he’ll do next.
J’adore Robbie Williams! I just love the guy. He’s so humble, talented and downright inspirational. His music is mind-blowing! Some of his lyrics are so real that you can actually feel the pain he went through when he co-penned them. Even if he didn’t write them all himself it doesn’t really matter because you can tell he means every word.
That time he said, “I’m rich beyond my wildest dreams” was fantastic; probably one of the greatest quotes of all time. The only other ones that come close are Gandhi’s ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’ and Martin Luther King’s ‘An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.’
There was another time just after he got his £80m contract when he said he was bored and a lot of people kind of gave him a bad time. I think someone so creative and passionate is allowed to be bored if he wants! Who are we to say he shouldn’t be bored?? His creativeness just gets the better of him sometimes and I think he kind of gets disillusioned that the world around him is not as brilliant as him and this, in turn, makes him bored of the whole damn thing, you know?
Cunt.
James Houston -
The name’s Partick Monkey, not Patrick Monkey. That might give you a wee clue as tae where I’m fae.
I love orange walks.
I love how as a catholic and a resident of this country since birth i can walk down these streets and have the pleasure of them immersing me in their tradition and pageantry which is in no way racist or bigoted, and definitely has a place in society in 2009.
I especially love how as a tax payer and a contributor to national insurance, im also paying for the policing of these festivites, which are definitely so much more than a hatred of catholics, and get-it-up ye celebrations of a foreign shirtlifter that died a bzillion years ago.
I love the new trend of Mr. Men and Sesame Street T-shirts that reputable high street shops like Topman, Burtons and River Island are stocking. I think it’s great that we can relive our childhood by donning our favourite bygone TV characters on our chest, whether clubbing, relaxing or on a ‘dress down day’ at work. I especially like the way there is Japanese writing on the Sesame Street ones and that they are a wee bit faded. It’s like they are ACTUALLY from the 80′s. The clever thing about the Mr Men ones is that if you have a particular character trait that your mates know all about, like you are LAZY, you can actually buy a t-shirt with MR LAZY ON IT! That means that when you see your mates down the pub they will point at you and shake their head going “Oh Adam, That is SO you!… Blue WKD, Mmmmuckerino?”
This is the kind of thing that makes me love Burtons, Topman, River Island, Bank, Officers Club (RIP), TK MAXX, Primark, JD Sports & Next.
One thing that’s really helped and supported me through the whole pregnancy is the foresight and wisdom offered so freely by people who already have children regarding pregnancy, birth and parenting. If it wasn’t for them I’d be focusing only on the positive side of the whole experience. For example, if I get really excited the first time I feel my baby kick, it’s best to be told that I won’t like it so much when I’m getting booted at 3am and can’t sleep. That really helps put it in perspective. If say that as well as bricking it, I’m actually a wee bit excited about giving birth, it really helps to be told, with a knowing smile: “just you wait and see”. That way I can go in with a negative attitude which will really help the ‘fear-tension-pain’ cycle. Then, when I have the nerve to complain about the fact that I’m shattered and have to sleep all the time, the best advice anyone can give is: “sleep as much as you can now because when the baby arrives…”. That really really helps. So when I haven’t slept for 9 days because of the baby and am on the edge of a breakdown I assume can withdraw some stored up sleep that I deposited in some sort of sleep bank one day when I had loads to do but couldn’t get up off the couch. Surely that’s possible, otherwise there’d be no point whatsoever in saying that.
Thanks, everyone!
I love it how folk can just go and illegally download music for free! Honestly, it shows us the people standing up against all the evil record companies by taking the money back out of their suit pockets and back into the pockets of the listeners. Its amazing how we don’t have to worry that a record deal is actually a loan, so the money is coming out of the artists’ pockets rather than the companies because anyone who sets foot on TV or on a stage at T in the Park is obviously a millionaire as all rock stars are.
Kings of leon. what a group. someone in the pub said they were a rock band for cosmopolitan readers but i had to disagree heartily. they fuckin ROCK so hard. best band since the spin doctors.
I really love Big Issue sellers and they way they always greet you with a smile when you walk past them, I particularly love the fact that if you don’t buy one they always encourage me to get my self on holiday to some place callled Fuck, simply delightful and a credit to our streets.
Everyday is like Christmas Eve when I see one of those cheeky scamps. I adore them
I love Reporting Scotland. Such a varied and informative news programme with excellent production values. Presenters never make mistakes or get nervous, tell tacky jokes, stutter or panic, which means you never have to pull your jumper up over your eyes as you cringe in embarrassment.
Technically the programme is second to none, sound never fails, wrong footage is never played and anytime they conduct a voxpop on the streets they always make sure the most intelligent, educated and enlightened people are asked the questions. I sit sometimes agog at the exclusives they deliver, stories such as: First Cuckoo Of The Year Heard In Lanarkshire, White Dog Feces Return To Our Streets After 30 Year Sabbatical and Ancient Document Proves Robert Burns Was A Poof. I also love the way the programme effortlessly avoids useless news like boring murders or tedious political scandals. Reporting Scotland, I love you, I do.
I love rave music. It’s just so inventive and creative while attracting such a wide range of people, not just teenage nutjobs in tracksuits who fancy a drink and a fight. I think rave musicians have really bettered the world.
Long last rave.
Raping,
it’s just like sex except you feel a much bigger sense of masculinity and power which you would never know of if you never try it. I mean just the other day a was raping this girl and i thought to myself, “this is class, yoldie”.
Partick Monkey-
are you from a fucking zoo?
I think Nick Griffin is one of the UK’s most underated MEP’s. His ability to see the “big picture” and guide our nation into a future where we can propser and grow stonger in this land called Britain
pure mad typing frenzy
people can bash the royal family all they want, but for me they are what makes this country of ours great. The money they bring into this country in sheer tourism makes them very good value for money. I will always consider myself a loyal subject of the Queen and would gladly lay down my life in battle for them.
The monarchy understand and share a connection with the citezens of Britain and they are true ambassadors for the UK, the UK cannot afford to get rid of the monarchy.
rule Britania and god save the queen.
i love blogs where they ask you to pretend you love something you hate. the pretence of writing a few paragraphs about something you despise, and using irony to pretend you like it, is brilliant. it’s almost like therapy. (not sure if that has went full circle a bit – limmy, feel free to lambast me via said blog if it has).
I fucking Love Big Brother, I love the way they get all these really interesting people to entertain us 24/7, They are all really clever and I just cant take my eyes off it. Sometimes when I hear the theme music I get goosebumps I like nothing more that just pulling my chair right up to the t.v and blocking out the world, BB makes me forget all my worries, And there is no one on T.V with the journalistic skills of Devina McCall.
i love that advert where the pigeons fly that guys computer through the window because he forgot his presentation. i just think wow, all he did was forget a presentation, and those birds are airlifting in his entire computer from home, what great guys. it’s not even like it’s a redundant product, because who has the time to burn a cd or put files on a usb drive, or even just remember things? not me. anyway, id much rather leave my computer on at home and connect it to my office, i dont care, its what i want to do. in fact, i need to because my work doesn’t provide me with the programs and tools i actually need to do my work. which is strange, because youd think it was in their best interests to keep my productivity above 0%.
i love that advert, and the product it advertises. at the back of my mind i may occasionaly thinking “if i was really as incompitent as the lovely man in the ad, id surley be fired” yeah, but then again, nothings impossible.
I love being Irish. You’re never stereotyped, people never say a bad word about you and you never have to worry about any kind of vague “victim complex”. It’s fantastic that Ireland was one of the top richest countries in the world. Ireland and the people of Ireland prospered so well. Everyone got a fair shake and no one was left behind. Fair distribution of wealth – fantastic idea. The economy was the fasted growing in the world ever . And now the economy is as dead as a dodo and “the pain” is of course being spread and shared equally. People struggling on the dole of course can’t get the country of the jam but the property developers and bankers of course are digging deep to fix the mess that came out of nowhere.
It’s great that everyone knows who U2 are. They’re great Irish rock stars. The best ever and even though Bono’s a shortarsed midget he’s still a fine Irishman regardless of whether or not his money now lives in Holland.
Republicanism is fantastic as well.
As is being nice to the Union, cause being a “west brit” ain’t no bad thing.
Oh and it’s great how Irish can tell the difference between English, Scottish and Welsh. Thankfully it’s only ocassionaly that people refer to everyone on the island of Britain (Scotland, Wales, England) as “English”. It’s only small mistake sure. It’s easy to get confused and mix up three different countries.
I do love being asked “how was England” when I come back from Glasgow .
It’s marvellous.
Amy Winehouse, god I’d eat chips oot her knickers.
I love Hitler, he was so innovative and born well before his time, he just thought outside the box all the time and the love of his fans was amazing. I fucking love him. Hitler, what a guy.
I really love Paul gadd, I wish he would re-invent himself and bring out a cutting edge album, a killer tour with ticket concessions for the under 16′s and also video interviews that don’t involve bedroom webcams and two-way mirrors.
Mon’ the Glitter
I love the fact that I’m from Clydebank, in particular the leafy suburb of Clydebank also known as Dalmuir. I love the fact that within five minutes of my close door, there are 5 pubs, 2 chippies, 4 off-licence’s, 4 chinese takeaway shops, 3 kebab shops, and I especially love the fact that they demolished one of the chapels, the sense of guilt that everyone was feeling has simply washed away. I love the fact that a junkie whose boyfriend beat her up can stand and shout at a high flat for half an hour on a Sunday evening and a whole street can watch, I especially love the fact that another junkie can stand in his slippers with a mug of tea about five yards away from the frst junkie and just gawk. I love the fact that I’m scared to walk home through the park that I stay beside, just in case I get raped. I love the fact that everyone is living in abject poverty, but still everyone has the latest celtic or rangers top, not to mention the latest and shiniest tracksuit top and bottom combo. I also love the fact that during the summer months, some fucking sewage plant somewhere stinks the whole place out, so you can either open the windows and choke to death, or keep them shut and sweat to death. I love the fact that if you haven’t been stabbed your in the minority. I love the fact that the doctor has given me all these lovely sleeping pills, wonder how many I can gub at a time…
The best thing that can happen when you take a lassie home for the first time is to find out that she’s one of these new breeds that doesnt give head. Its so liberating to know that the female kind are drawing their own lines in the sand of sexual practices and this run of the mill man treat is the first to go. Some may say that women may be obligated to perform certain acts, especially when the man partner does the equivelant at the drop of a hat, but not me!
The best pay off of this sexual revolt is that now men anywhere can enjoy their beloved partner performing hand jobs where the angle is not at all wrong or awkward, the grip isnt at all wrong, and where the man certainly couldnt do a better job himself.
I love to love but my baby just wants to dance. etc etc
Do you know what I really like, Hollyoaks. it just seems to capture all the trials and tribulations that go on in my life and manages to wrap it up nicely in a neat wee half hour. Even the stories that bubble for about 3 months before exploding in a weeks worth of episodes. It keep me on the edge of my seat. Like the time Jason got hooked on pot and ended up smashing up a gravestone. I imagine thats what I would do if I ever took any illegal drugs! I also just love the way it seems to reflect our society like the time that story came out in the papers about the man who faked his own death and then two weeks later Jack was faking his. coincidence? I don’t think so. They quite clearly have their finger on the pulse.
I love the way jackie bird looks like a seagull, i love the way she smiles and how her eyes blink like a dolls when she does so.
I absolutely adore Big Brother! The whole concept is an amazing one, I’m sure you’ll all agree. Thanks to it’s format of simply watching people sitting, eating, sleeping and walking about a room, it means anyone, no matter how untalented or unlikeable they are, can acheive instant fame. I particularly like the fact that when it’s on the tabloids go crazy for a while, pushing the likes of Posh and Becks or Cheryl Cole to the back burner whilst we can read about who the current contestants have shagged in the past. Who wants to know about big fat cats bonuses and the continuing problems with the global recession when I could be reading what type of pants Brian was wearing when he was having sex as a seventeen year old? EXACTLY! So good!
I particularly like this series now that they’ve started to rehash ideas and bring back the most popular housemates EVER that didn’t seem to win the show the first time they were in it, for whatever reason. Who could forget watching grown adults sitting in big cardboard boxes? I’m so glad they’ve brought these things back. Sure, they could come up with new, original ideas, by why bother when ones like the cardboard boxes ARE SO GOOD AND YOU CAN DO THEM AGAIN? GENIUS!
That Lamb guy? Who needs Dermot or Russell Brand when you have that much talent. He’s so talented in many many ways. And I’m so glad Davina is still on board with her heavy shampoo advert and channel 4 chatshow appearances, I’m a little surprised.
I just hope and pray that the format doesn’t change for the next 10 series!!!
I love AC/DC,all their albums are a constant progression in rock music,and they have such amazing fans who really rock hardest.You can even go to one of their gigs and you don’t even need to see them as their music(especially vocals),are so powerful.What’s more they haven’t forgot their Glasgow roots and regularly spend most of their time here.
There can be a very thin line ‘tween pleasure and pain, see I was scared a scarecrows as a wean fuck knows why perhaps I wis a crow in a former life ? anyway maybe that’s why I often pay a local milf £20 to beat the livin fuck oot me wi a wooden cane while she wears a scarecrow ootfir. Mayber I’m just like Like Batman he wis tormentit fae bats as a young pink sack so he turned intae a Bat tae face his fears ?
Mark in Clogs, how local is this MILF?
I love my neighbours, the whole family bring glee into my heart.
I love their Russian gymnastic sessions that go on above me.
I love their embrace of the wild – natural garden.
I love the smell of pish that emminates down to my bathroom from theirs.
I love the artistic approach to refuse collecting they have piled up the side of their wall.
I love the freedom their children feel wandering through my garden to jump and play.
I love that ring of dirt round their mouths and necks.
I love the sound of mummys voice calling “that bastard” in for tea.
I love the who cares attitude they have to noise.
I love the cunts,
and they know it !
These days i cant get enough of duffy. I love the tone of her voice, its nothing like anyone else out just now, I love that concept of trying to bring back that sassy soul of the sixties female singers – cos lets face it- no one else is doing it!
leota, your post is the one.
I LOVE THE WAY MY OPINION WAS DEEMED UNSUITABLE
FOR THIS THREAD AND CENSORED.
I Love David Walliams.
Really , that whole Straight/Gay thing keeps you guessing , which is brilliant , also that Little Britain just never got old , even Little Britain USA wasn’t a push , also , he’s a serial shagger , which is all the rage ae?
I hate Chris Moyles But.
Craig wae the pink hat: hahahahahahahaha
Do you know what is a proper sport? Darts. I mean come on, the guys that play the game are athletes. Why oh why is it not an olympic sport? Britain would clean up the gold medals in 2012 with the Likes of Bristow, George and Wilson.
I heard there was a big tournament in Blackpool next week, so I’m going AWOL from work as I’ve already bought tickets for it off Ebay.
I love getting my hair washed at the hairdressers. Having the fingers of a young, homosexual man hungrily breathing in the pheromones from the top of my head or an overtly blonde female with very manly hands caressing the bumps and contours of my skull and asking me if I’ve got a day off today genuinely takes the entire haircut experience up to an astounding level of service. I wouldn’t feel happy just getting my hair soaked quickly with the shower before the cut as during the intervening weeks between haircuts I’m not entirely sure I can trust myself to wash my hair properly. Cleanliness is next to godliness is what they say, so I want my hair to be rigorously and professionally tousled, shampoo-ed and conditioned to the point where I myself might even turn into God right there with head my expanding beyond the limits of the basin and the smock tearing across my swelling torso. True, this isn’t physically possible, but the bright-eyed wonder who tries their best to do so always gets a neat smile and polite “thank-you” which I know makes their day worthwhile. Only a true hedonist would commit such an abhorrent act as to slither into their local hairdresser’s having left their house with their hair soaked and a towel over their shoulders, as I’m sure some logic-merchants have selfishly tried to persuade even their greatest friends to do.
I love eating outside in the sun in Paisley town centre when im on my lunch break. Especially when you get to see two female junkies kicking fuck out of each other next to the cenotaph. Everyone, women, children and oaps all get to witness this street theatre first hand, and learn useful phrases like ‘ya fucking lezzie cunt’.The same gang of people involved get to stay there for hours afterwards because noone really cares. Its this kind of lawlessness that continues to make the towns name stick out in peoples minds. Well done Paisley!!!
i love limmys blog. its always so funny and he never complains
I love the Orange marches in the meadows in Edinburgh. The way the whole of Marchmont becomes alive with the thrilling music and colourful displays. Not to mention the unbridled joy I feel seeing bus after bus of pissed up, red faced, over weight pipers and drummers arriving a mere stones throw from my flat.
But the best bit is my excitement when opening up the door to see if there’s an orange man standing there in all his finery, pissing up against my front step. That’s the best thing ever! Oh and the women! Hold me back, if I wasn’t a married father of one, or had a calling for ugly as hell menladies, then I’d be all over them like their spew on the pavements.
I like pressure. Thrive on it!
pete… Brilliant!! Hahaha!!!
i love my 2 old bosses of the advertising agency i worked for – especially after working past 5.30 most nights and sometimes all through the night for £250 a week! i would have asked for more, but they may not have been able to pay CASH for their £98,000 Aston Martins they bought one Sunday in Cheshire on a ‘dare’ from a lovely public schoolboy friend from London … “GO FOR IT, GUYS!” i thumbed-up as they soaked me at the bus stop, ‘wittily sneering’ at me as they sped to the next lucky whorehouse. One is now abroad buying farmers land and selling it back to them at extortionate prices … “STUMP UP PABLO! HE NEEDS ANOTHER SWIMMING POOL!” … and as for the other boss, well, i hope he overcomes his battle with the bottle soon – it’s SO sad to hear the stories that he’s turned into a shaking/friendless/bloated/lonely chap! SO sad …
I really like Jeremy Clarkson.
The way he disagrees with anything anyone says is hilarious and sets him out as a strong, admirable character that every man aspires to.
One of his co-hosts on Top Gear will say he likes a car and then Jeremy says he thinks its rubbish and then he interupts his co-host as he tries to explain why he thinks the car is good and then Jeremey says “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE I’M RIGHT AND YOU’RE WRONG” and its really funny.
I don’t get to see it much because its so funny and I’m scared I will laugh so much at his non-predictable performance that he hasn’t been using for years.
I hope that the BBC continue to give him large contracts because he’s worth it.
On that note, I love Internet forums and chat rooms. I love the fact that you don’t know who you are really talking to, and I feel this gives an amazing sense of liberation from the usual social graces. I love how people try so hard to make every last thing they say funny, and even if there is no need, or the tone is wrong, its really a competition to see who can put forward the most wit and have the most profound thoughts. It amazing to think that all these people whom I’d normally not really bother with, (or who’s approval I would not ordinarily seek) are suddenly my peers, and I can feel them judging my every utterance online, only to come up with thought that put my own to shame with their profound importance. But really, the main reason I love forums and chat rooms, is that I feel liked and wanted, and that although I’m an even smaller fish in an even smaller pond. Its the kind of pond where everyone is funny and opinionated and everyone has something to say. To little old me.
I love Internet forums and chat rooms……… because they love me back!
I love junkies asking me for money for a bus home. I know everyone does, but I think I admire them just a wee bit more than everyone else.
The thrill of meeting new people is a natural high for me and honestly, who else has the courage to ask a complete stranger for 50p?! Ye have to admire that.
Sometimes I feel sorry for them as this one time I was asked for money because his pal had just died in a flat and he needed money for bus fare to break the news to his pals parents, I told him I didnae have any money (I know that was shocking but I just thought a charming guy like him could sweet talk money out of anyone.)
Though the next week I had another fun-filled venture to the city centre and you’ll never guess who asked me for money for a bus hame! That’s right, the same guy! Poor soul was stuck in the toon for a week!
I feel so guilty because if I had just game him a wee bit of change which I know he woulda used for a bus, he could’ve made it home faster to break the shocking news of his mate dying in his flat.
I love the honesty from them aswell when they tell you they need change for a “boto a wine.” Sometimes though that honesty is overshadowed with comedy by a friend then walking up behind and saying they needed it for the bus! That had me in tears aw night.
From now on I’ll give EVERY junkie that asks me for change a wee 20 pence piece. I’ve rambled on but I just love them that much
I love you. there.. I said it! I’ve wanted to tell you that for so long! Finally, i felt it was time! So there it is, do what you want with it.
aw the best!
Rendell
i love how the company i work for are so organised and really care about our customers. It’s the whole under promise / over deliver policy that works best, we never let anyone down and hardly ever need to work over time….. because we’re just so organised! It’s great, I really love this job.
I adore the roma gypsies who have moved into my neighbourhood. They are such beautiful people, always impecably turned out and such wonderful manners. I particularly love the way they have introduced a healthy programme of urban recycling to our streets by raking through the bins and leaving any interesting items strewn up the pavement. As for their children, why they could teach ours a thing or two when it comes to manners and personal hygene. God bless ‘em.
Oh and not forgetting the beautiful abstract acordian music that brightens many a dismal afternoon in town and the fact they’ve saved our tramps and jaikies the bother of having to sell the big issue anymore. Generous to a fault so they are.
I truly love how refreshingly racist the Uk is becoming nowadays. Being that I come from a mixed race background (Scottish and African American), I can’t help but feel such love and warmth from the bitter stares that I sometimes encounter walking down the street – especially the one’s I get from the older generation, they really are the best.
I love the way that I would consider myself extremely well travelled and after spending half of my life living abroad and soaking up the culture in various countries, I’m still some how deemed to be some sort of asyllum seeker who jumped a banana boat to illegaly enter and take all of the jobs and men in the UK. This type of stereotypical view of me normally seems to come from those who have hardly left the street they grew up in and the closest they have come to any sort of travel is a trip to the bookies followed by a chip buttie down the town. The best part about that is that I actually hold a british passport and I am also educated, graduating at the top of my class and have spent nearly the last ten years working and progressing in my chosen feild.
Its great to know that there are folk out there who dont think that I should be entitled to make any sort of living and that I should “go back to where I came from”, even though that place is here.
I love the way that despite the blatant and in your faceness of this racism although sometimes subtle, I would still be considered worth “pumping” by men regardless of my racial background – Fanny is fanny at the end of the day right?? At the same time how fantastic is it that these same men would love to kick the shit out of my brothers? Brilliant.
I would be lying if I didnt admit to the fact that I think it’s great crack ticking a different box everytime I fill out an application form in the “Ethnic background” section. Its brilliant that I have now resorted to being “other” and then having to specify because the colour of my skin should in fact make such a massive impact and difference on my views and eligability to work.
The best part of all though is the fact that when I travel and get away from the UK I sometimes meet other people from other places who tell me that they think being a Brit means an automatic invitation to be open minded and liberal. Gotta love the UK!
PS – Limmy give us a date xx
Bren x
I really love Jesus Christ, I mean what a sound guy, putting his life on the line for all of humanity, I mean you just don’t get that kind of comitment from people these days. Just a real class act.
I love young men who feel the need to shout at me as they drive past me that they’d love to stick their cock up my arse, and how much do I charge them for a shag?
Why, what delightful young men they must be. I would truly love to be taken out by such creatures, driven around by them in their wonderful sports cars with loud motors blaring not-at-all generic dance beats for a McDonald’s. Yes, so very, very attractive and not at all like something a moronic arsehole would do.
I love Lady Thatcher.
Imagine what the country would be like now if the Iron Lady didn’t make those tough decisions and stand up to the unions and the layabouts back in the ’80s? Russia probably. Not Russia now though, but Russia back then! She saw clearly that aspiration should be rewarded and cleared the way for the ambitious to achieve. She didn’t feel bad about putting people out of work because she also gave them opportunities to start their own companies. Everyone could become rich, so only the lazy ones stayed poor. Just cos some folk couldn’t be arsed getting rich they moaned about her–but they still took handouts!
She was misunderstood in Scotland, but I’m sure people realise now that she new what was best for us. it was simply maternal, tough love.
I’m sure David Cameron loves us just the same.
“The best part about that is that I actually hold a british passport and I am also educated, graduating at the top of my class and have spent nearly the last ten years working and progressing in my chosen feild” brenbrendy. You’re pretending to love that aspect of your life, but you hate it? Fuck off!
I also love the visionary soundbites that call centre managers use in meetings. Honestly.
Only today I was dumbfounded (in a good way) when a manager invited me to take a “helicopter view” of an excel spreadsheet. I never imagined looking at an excel spreadsheet from a helicopter before. Such vision you do not see when you are self-employed… I’d hate to work by myself, for myself.
Other inspiring turns of phrase I’ve heard of late are – “Scrum down” (meeting), “One-Pager” (short, “high-level” document), to “run it up the flagpole” with the ommision of “see how it flies” (let’s try that idea, see how we get on) and “Windmill Effect” (no fucking idea).
If these managers talked like the rest of us lesser mortals, I would have fuck all to aspire to. As it is, I can see myself as an Assistant Team Leader by the time I’m 36.
So, get it right fucking up all youse that don’t work in a call centre. You’re fuck all without the daily education that I get.
Get that up your flagpole and fucking fly it.
I love STDs. It really makes those 2 seconds of drunken passion worth it. The adrenaline rush that you get waiting for the results to come in is of the scale. Its a much more intense buzz than sky diving or a go on the swings at the park. It really seems a shame that we have to get treatment for it coz I’d like to share this experience with others. It really would make the world a better place.
I really love the BMP and all that they stand for. Don’t give me your “strange fruit” crap – they’re just saying what we’re all really thinking. Don’t tell me you didn’t nod in agreement when they proposed bombing ships full of illeagal immigrants heading to the UK – it’s sounds callous, but they are going to have life-rafts thrown to them so that they can scrabble ashore.
These immigrants are stealling our jobs – we’d all be earning a fotune as surgeons, and lawyers if it wasn’t for our overburdended education system having to deal with immigrants. Enough is enough – wasn’t it Ghandi who said “ain’t no black in Union Jack?”
Holy fucking shit! Weeman, will you be my lifecoach?
Fuxake – BNP – not BMP…
I love oscar wildes trying hard at funny in a whinefest of a post that seems like it should have started on a 15 year old goths livejournal
I love Summerston Asda, I love everything about it. The store is always clean and tidy, and it stocks a wide variety of fresh fruit and veg. But the best thing about Summerston Asda, is without a doubt, the staff. I think they bus these people in from the posher parts of the town, their manners are exemplary and their personal hygiene is second to none. I used to think Maryhill Tesco would take some beating, but I was wrong.
I love Summer Tune, by Limmy.
I love saying “I love this” when I actually hate somethin,and i love sharing a platform with like-minded people who don’t mind showing they continually miss-the-mark with an over-egged sarcastic enthusiasm rather than just try to convince us that they love somethin they really hate. No,really.
I love internet comedians who turn there back on you, delete you from their friends list on Xbox Live, and even the way that they block you on Twitter so you can’t partake in banter anymore. I really really love that. I love it so much that I can’t wait to tune into their TV shows. I also love Michael Jackson.
I love Chris Moyles, the self proclaimed “Saviour of Radio 1”. I wasn’t even aware that Radio 1 was in any sort of trouble until Chris told me it was. I read his comments a couple of weeks ago saying that all BBC radio shows are really dull now because everyone is so scared of offending people. DJs can no longer be experimental or cutting edge, not like our Chris, he’s so fresh. I love getting in the car in the morning and just listening to whatever groundbreaking topics he has thought up for the day: which celebrities he hates, what he watched on the tv last night, how he ordered a large pizza for dinner and then had the rest of it cold for breakfast. Its just stuff that I can relate to in my everyday life! A great DJ should make you feel part of the conversation and that is what Moyles does, he feels like one of my mates – especially when he calls Rachel a “cow” or always has the undertone of taking the piss out the little gay one, he just says exactly what I’m thinking.
There have been few radio celebrities that have been able to make the crossover to tv but Chris has done it with ease – so confident in his abilities that he doesn’t even need to shave, he knows we all love him, Just your best mate on the Radio.
I love Chris Moyles
I love David Gray. His voice is so haunting yet mellow. His music isn’t ‘cool’ or ‘hip’, so he’ll never go out of fashion. I love that. He’ll probably still be on the radio when I’m old and lying on my deathbed. Imagine that!
ooo00000oooo, big bitter snedwan spitting the dummy hahaha. What did he do anyway my friend Brian Limond who i’ve only met on the internet,virtually…ofcourse.
I loved it when my son came home from school and told me he wanted to go for dancing lessons. It made me swell with pride to know that he wanted to embrace his feminine side.
I love cleaning. I love everything about it, from finding places to put things when I don’t have enough furniture or storage place – it’s like working with a giant jigsaw, to cleaning toothpaste spite off the sink in the bathroom. SUCH FUN!
I especially love doing dishes, especially when we’ve used every dish in the flat; means more dishes to do, so that my hands can feel Fairy Soft at the ends. Who needs moisturiser when you have good old Fairy Up liquid? Moisturising just seems like a waste of time – and I don’t have enough time for such trivialities when I’m scouring my home from top to bottom!
I also love it when the TV turns on by itself when the remote’s on the other side of the room. Doesn’t make me feel uneasy being alone at all!
What a fun day I’m having! I haven’t even mentioned the weather – I don’t half love the haunting melodies of torrential rain and gale force winds hitting my windows with brute force.
Home made steak pie – none of this bought in shite, it’s got to be home made. Braising steak boiled for hours, then poured into a pie dish. Then, puff pastry rolled out to the exact size of the dish and laid on top. In the oven for a wee while, and serve. Let the fuckin’ magic commence – amazing. Served with peas steeped in water for 24hours and mashed tatties and gravy – fuck me, I’m leaking as I type this.
*toothpaste spit. ‘Spite’ is completely the wrong word, especially as I love cleaning it so much.
Weeman – I love business talk too. I love it so much I’vemade up a couple. You know that phrase “Let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes”? Well, from now I’m gong to say “Okay, let’s strap it on and see who bends over”
And instead of “singing from the same hymn sheet” try “wanking from the same porn mag” for size.
fish, of all the things in the world you could “love” you chose david gray? odd.
I would just like everyone on this blog to take a moment and spare a thought for the life of Jade Goody. To me it seems shocking that someone can give so much to society, be a model citizen and celebrity, a wonderful mother and a strong intellectual female, yet, after her tragic death(!) the whole media and public turn on her. How can you go from being all that to becoming nothing more than a fat, ugly, baldy, talentless, stupid, self-promoting, fat, ugly, baldy, talentless, stupid, self-promoting bitch.
All I want is for Jade to be remembered in the right way. I am not saying she was flawless – of course she was only human (although miss piggy refused a dna test) -but lets remember her for her talent and for the endless joy she brought to us, whether it was through ingenious channel four productions or the independent thinking red-topped newspapers and female oriented magazines.
Jade Goody – Rest In Peace.
Aye craig wae the pink hat, cos every cunt is downloadin your albums, int they…
Dear Grimes
I love 2 second shags, please get in touch!!
Jen
I love those Christian youth groups over here in the US,who have stadium sized godrock concerts and try and promote to youngsters that being Right wing,militaristic and homophobic is the way that Jesus wanted you to live your life.
I love the way Christian rock bands cover rock anthems and change the lyrics to show their devotion to god,I love the way they close their eyes and lift their hands up to jesus.I love the way they steal the best days of young peoples life’s by brainwashing them about Christianity,When the kids should be out there shagging,taking drugs and listening to good tunes.
I love them all.
I love Glasgow Rangers Football Club. Their history of being an open institution which caters for all almost brings a tear to the eye. A lot has been said about their signing policy before the famous/infamous Maurice Johnston signing but people just don’t seem to get it. The reason people thought they never signed Catholics until 1989 was down to the fact they had never even thought about a person’s religion before signing them; I mean…come on!? Why would they???? History will prove this beyond all reasonable doubt. God bless Glasgow Rangers.
I love U2. They are so unpretentious. I hated the way they used to put on an incredibly energetic and personal stage show in places like The Barrowlands.
I’m so glad they are now able to express their beliefs through their artistic talents in massive and impersonal stadia.
I truly wish I was stupid enough to fork out @£100 to stand in a big place staring at a screen that I could equally well do at home, with the luxury of a fridge full of beer and a clean toilet only metres away.
I love the way Bono posts meaningful and life changing statements via Twitter in a way that is not patronising to the people who are not multi millionaires like him.
I can safely say that everyone, myself included, who thinks that they peaked and should have died in a plane crash like Lynnard Skynnard after The unforgettable Fire is wrong.
Two last things.
Would anyone else like to bone the bird off of The Noisettes ?
And how do I go about posting my pic on this posting ?
And another thing. I love cunt Fearne Cotton.
She’s so talented and truly deserves a daytime slot on Radio 1.
I love her massive nostrils, her irritating voice, and the fact she has nothing to say.
Her and Vernon Kay. Two major talents who deserve a share of my actually hard earned licence fee.
i love the “sexy new look” video that Limmy’s just added to his site! i love the way it…(insert a sarcastic yet humorous and detailed argument as to why i ‘love’ this new video))
=p
I love Snedwan, his podcasts are absolute genius, he even has his own theme tune!!!! and his patter is fucking legendary man. Have a listen:
http://media7.podbean.com/pb/4067094657c112bead892f5517f68fc1/4a60ffea/blogs7/142311/uploads/TheLegendofSnedwan-Episode6.m4a
I love the way I still don’t know how to post my picture on here the same as the rest of you elitist, internet savvy cunts.
I’ve got an internet too. What makes you so fucking special ?
Fix Up Look Sharp
I love that Snedwan podcast. I love it because it’s dire.
A dorable
S ublime
B etter
E verlasting
S afe
T imetested
O mnipresent
S exy
Oh my good, I am quite literally tingling all over tying this, I sooooooooooooo love nature’s white gold, can like, totally bliss out on it
I love President Obama!
‘The leader of the free world’ and all that, its quite an important role I’m told. What I really love is his tireless effort to bring democracy to the world’s most fucked up nations. Democracy would be brilliant wouldn’t it? Regardless of the fact the United States of America is not a democracy, it’s a constitutional republic, Obama’s got a game plan and he’s sticking to it. Such a selfless guy. Love him.
Bit unfair on Obama I think. A very good man in an impossible situation. Look into his voting history, read his books and think for yourself. Barack Obama is NOT defined by America’s policies. There are massive barriers between him and his vision and he’s trying harder to make good changes than any President since the early 60s.
I love Nick Griffin, because he stands for the people of Britain who are not represented by the mainstream political parties. I believe this man could do great things for the United Kingdom.
His stance on freedom and equality for all is what really makes me a passionate supporter of the BNP and their egalitation and brotherly values.
I think the United Kingdom would be a better place if Nick Griffin were prime minister, with him “calling the shots” and with a BNP government making policy decisions for us. I trust them and their upstanding integrity 100%.
Long live the BNP!!!!
I love it when yer sitting in the cubicle enjoying 15 mins away fae yer desk with a relaxing shite and a read at the paper when some fat disgusting cunt batters intae the cubicle next door and drops their guts. It’s a real bonding experience sharing the stomach churning honk of a colleague’s humming shite and always a pleasure when you can actually feel the temperature in the bogs rise by a couple of degrees. I enjoy it so much I always nip my own effort and head back to my desk.
@Dubya – he’s a big shit. A pro Zionist, muslim beating, scumbag. Voted in by the same people who put Bush in a position of power.
That’s another thing I love. Zionists. A non-secular apartheid state is exactly what we need in the world.
‘A pro Zionist, muslim beating, scumbag’
Gavin, he’s none of those things. Is there any proof whatsoever for what you’re saying? If there is I’ll say, “Fair enough,” but I think you’re just grouping him with what’s gone before him and, in many positions within Washington, what’s still there. Have you read Dreams From My Father or The Audacity of Hope? Have you looked in to his history when it comes to voting for wars, health care, tax, equal rights etc… I have, and I would bet my life that he’s a good man. Don’t get him mixed up with whatever the senate, the house or the supreme court decides; they don’t always agree! There’s a massive puddle of mirky shit and greed that he, and some others, have to wade through in order to make anything happen.
p.s. Don’t give me a link to a documentary about Obama being Hitler’s grandchild or anything; I’ve seen them all.
@eddiemunster HAHAHA Fucking love when that happens!
I share Eddie Munster’s love of shite synchronisation with a work colleague, I would only add the experience can linger fondly in the memory if you are lucky to share the full emotion-journey, having experienced such intimacy only a few moments ago, a few pleasantries and a glance in the mirror together while washing and drying ones hands can only strengthens mutual respect, I can only imagine in an unisex toilet, the experience if involving someone of the opposite sex, would be a alliance of souls, free of even a hint of awkwardness.
In a similar vain, I love in increasing magnitude; fluoro piss sprayed on the seat, skid marks, floaters or the “holy trinity” piss, shite and brown streaked bog roll, offerings left in toilets cubical by the last user.
This is a sweet reminder that we are all the same, simple creatures, and that our waste all looks the same. A simple wipe, flush or brush if innocently forgotten by your predecessor, can easily be remedied by the next cheery visitor, no worries.
I love the bingo adverts on telly, so fun and full of laughter, and are always original and fresh. They just draw me in, they really do. I can’t help myself signing up to them! I mean, nothing can beat the adrenaline rush of a full hoose. My favey has to be STV bingo, the advert is so great, and what a catchy song! Great fun!! I recommend joining a bingo website.
i tryed to love russel howard,
but i cant ! i hate the cunt with a passion! i dont have the wit to write as if i do like him.
he is just fuckin shit, and escapes out of crap jokes with bent voices that are still not funny!
i love how his big fat baldy pimp dara, just aproves of the low quality he comes out with, nd forces the audiance to laugh at his jokes.
fuck off russel nd go grow some pubes!
no offence intended on all your excellent instalment’s,but can i ask a question? Thank’s……how do i put up an avatarr(?) on this site?
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I was sitting in a taxi yesterday,on the way home from the solid,the driver was soo so nice and he took the quick way home,along the motorway,cost me way much less than i would usually be charged….and as i said,the driver was so curteous,and dropped me off at the traffic lights “to save him turning around”..thankyou mr taxi-man….
Jar, you obviously don’t appreciate timeless music sung well the way I do. I don’t expect everyone to love him the way I do. Perhaps only a Fish could love him. It’s love nonetheless.
The Holy Trinity Whobeube, tremendous!!
I love fat folk who walk through the toon in slow moving groups spread accross the whole pavement. It’s high time we slowed down the hectic pace of modern life and these greggs-ambasadors do a fine job in allowing us time to take a look around and notice the smaller details which would easily be missed if we were to walk too briskly by. Their lack of concern over spacial awareness is to be applauded.
I love how good my spelling is when I am hungover.
I LOVE LIMMY. I LOVE THE WAY LIMMY USED TO BE FUNNY, THEN WENT “FUCK IT, IM GONNAE BE A PHILOSIPHER” AND TRY AND PREACH RANDOM SHITE TO SEE HOW MUCH PEOPLE REACT TO IT.
I LOVE YOU LIMMY, YOUR MUCH FUNNIER NOW THAN YOU WERE TWO YEARS AGO!!
WELL DONE
I love my Dad. I love how he used to take me for walks in the park, push me over, hit my face, pull my trousers down and fuck me, hard, til he came. I think about it all the time, fondly, and can’t wait to meet him again
I love the way the BBC despite having millions of pounds at their disposal, and numerous smart arses like Alan Yentob, can still put out programmes with glaring historical errors. I love the way they do that. I especially love it when the facts they get wrong are about Scotland. An example Alan Titchmarsh in Falkirk doing ground force said “of course Falkirk is where William Wallace was captured at the battle of Falkirk”. I was nearly beside myself with joy when this fountain of knowledge then had his own programme on the History of Britain. Brilliant. God bless the BBC.
I love people who knock on your door to chat about religion. They really know their stuff and they’re not afraid to help you make sense of your life. And they make a point of helping you understand why your dependence on proof is actually limiting your freedom to understand our world, and our universe. It’s just such a vast and unknown quantity isn’t it… how can any of us really know? And their timing is just perfect, arriving at the point in the day when I’m at my most relaxed – it really helps me to make extra time for them because I’m just so chilled out and happy to see them.
And while we’re on the subject, has any scientist ever knocked on my door? Have they made the time to ask if I need some science in my life? No they haven’t. It’s because they lack the confidence in their chosen path. The day might come but I doubt it – those double-blind-testing bastards.
Anyway, I suppose I’m just looking for an outlet to say thank you to anyone brave enough to promote their beliefs. It means so much to the people of the world that you think highly enough of us to make that heroic connection. We may never reach the levels of understanding and inner peace that you have achieved, but we can always try. We can always try harder. You’re setting the example. Please, keep going. Just keep going.
I LOVE Lady Gaga. In no way is it possible she has a scrotum. I also love the ‘zany’ faces Davina McCall pulls, like those silent scream type faces… she seems so kooky and fun.
I wish Sex And The City was still on the telly. It really filled a gap left by the male-controlled media when it came out, and nothing has really managed to fill it’s shoes since. My girlfried is obsessed with the show and I have been accused of only feigning interest in order to keep getting laid, but I honestly think history will come to view it as an important step in terms of women’s representation in the media, and their role in society in general. Where else could you get four beautiful, successful women sitting at lunch, casually discussing their views on orgasms and abortions in public, over a cesar salad. Genius. Also, I have a major crush on Miranda and it’s ok to talk about it with my GF too cause she fancies her aswell!
Baseball is a sport and a pasttime I have really warmed to. Its great that the pace of the play isn’t too fast, cos sometimes sports can let you down that way, you know, if you take your eye off the action for just five minutes you might miss something important. But in baseball you might not even miss a single throw in that time. It’s also great that there’s only really any movement when the batter actually hits the ball. My heart’s not in the best condition, and if even the pitcher moved about much more I would be a serious risk of cardiac incident due to over-excitement.
I love how Americans in particular are so passionate about the game, and you can see why. What is there not to love about a bunch of men standing about in a field wearing pyjamas, watching their slightly more talented friend throw a ball very fast at a guy wearing slightly different-coloured pyjamas who stands perfectly still except for when he swings a bat wildly at the ball? Who wouldn’t be thrilled when the batter makes a decent contact with the throw (the good ones can hit it almost once every three attempts!!!) and suddenly makes a dash for first base? Who could fail to recognise the genius of the fielders as with almost superhuman skill they either catch the ball in flight with their massively oversized mitt, thus bringing the batter’s endeavour to a thrilling conclusion and rendering his base-bound sprint useless OR retrieve a bouncing ‘ground ball’ and with unerring accuracy drive the ball towards their catcher at the base, creating a race between ball and man to that sacred plate which represents a spectacle surely unparrealled in its drama! And after the exhiliaration of these three seconds of power and grace spectators and participants alike need only wait up to ten minutes to repeat the experience!
The genius is in the simplicity! And yet there’s so much detail in the techniques and tactics. That’s what keeps the game fresh after 100-plus years!
Another thing I really love about American sport is the way they keep the teams powerful and successful by moving them from one city to another when a better financial offer comes along or if the team is not doing so well and there is not as big a support base as there maybe used to to be! It doesnt even matter if the team has been in the one place for 50 years and the fans have invested their time and money and passions into the club vast quantities over that time, and if the new location is right across the old US of A! There’s nothing like a fresh start, and who ants to follow a team of LOSERS anyway??
Oh finally I love the way that the New York Yankees have managed to expand themselvs as a global brand by extensive use of their logos, particulaly on caps of all shapes and designs! No matter where you go or what your ‘look’ is, it seems there’s a hat with an American baseball franchise motif for every occasion! Even when there is nothing to do with baseball otherwise! I just love that! Imagine if the Rangers RFC logo was on every tammy-style hat that was sold in fashionable stores around the world?! How cool and relevant to the club and the sport would that be?!?! Think of the brand exposure! There would be so much more money to pay players, just as the Yankees can pay their players millions of dollars to sit on a bench, stand up, swing a bat, occasionally catch a ball and sometimes even run 15 yards in five-second bursts, five times a day, five times a week! Its the American Dream!
God I love baseball. Quick, get me ten beers in plastic cups and five hot dogs from a vendor wearing a tray of similar hot snacks!
Now where’s that repetetive bugle tune or unnecessarily upbeat and unrelated 90s rock band clip on the tannoy? Nothing gets the blood pumping quite like it!
Yeah! Go team!
Oh i also love fearne cotton, the BNP, cleaning, Jesus, lady gaga and work colleagues’ bowel movements too! You all have such good taste!
But most of all I love it that i know when to stop typing a post on a blog before it gets so long its ridiculous and slightly pitiful! Thank fuck for that skill i possess!
‘casually discussing their views on orgasms and abortions in public, over a cesar salad. Genius.’
HA!
i love the way ive just spent half ma shift readin all thes posts theres no better way to spend a afternoon in work than reading other peoples rants superb
Limmy,
That is so convincing that I think you may actually love Blur. In fact I think this is like a double negative, or something…