FAIL

Okay, we’ve all had our fun with the “FAIL” thing.

“EPIC FAIL”, etc.

“Firefox just crashed on me. Mozilla FAIL”, etc.

“The bin men haven’t came today. Glasgow City Council FAIL”, etc., etc., etc.

Right, now that’s enough. I think that’s enough now. Time to move on to something fresh and new.

How’s about CUNTCAKE?

“Firefox just crashed on me. Mozilla CUNTCAKE”?

In fact, that one’s shite, so if you’ve got anything better than that, let’s hear it.

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106 Responses to FAIL

  1. Neil says:

    Theres the rain on……………HERNIACOCK

  2. Garrie says:

    Aye I’m sick of this pish too.

    ‘FACEPALM’ aswell, does ma box in.

    Internet memes are mindrot.

  3. C. Head says:

    “Firefox just crashed on me. Mozilla SUBO”?

  4. Limmy says:

    SUBO, oh I like that.

  5. Daniel says:

    in situations like that a just say “aww booo”

  6. HaggisBoy says:

    I prefer fuckpig to cuntcake.

  7. MC_RIBS says:

    This blog entry is the personification of FAIL.

  8. Balsh says:

    limmy i read in the paps today that there will be a series of Limmy World.

    congrats if its ture.

    when is it expected to start?

    discuss.

    thoughts.

    discuss my thoughts.

  9. Congenital Optimist says:

    I don’t personally object to numpties having their own stupid numpty words – it makes them easier to identify. It’s as if they are drawing big hairy willies on their own foreheads in permanent marker.

  10. CraigM says:

    Just got a letter from the inland revenue – Taxman cuntwarbler.

  11. PmackC says:

    Lord Adonis, another new recruit to the Cabinet, said that last night’s meeting had produced a strong mood of support for Mr Brown and John McFall, the influential chairman of the backbench Treasury Select Committee, criticised rebels for “navel-gazing” and “squabbling”.

    Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis Lord Adonis

  12. Joe.W. says:

    Congratulations mate on your pilot episode being made into a series.
    Well thats what it says in the paper anyhow!
    The Daily ‘cuntshit’ Star. A perfect description of a terrible newspaper.

  13. Limmy says:

    MC_RIBS
    “This blog entry is the personification of FAIL.”

    A blog entry cannot be the personification of anything, for it is not a person, you stupid cunt.

    I think the word you were looking for was “epitome”.

    For example, your comment where you said that my blog entry was the personification of FAIL was the epitome of CUNTCAKE.

  14. MC_RIBS says:

    I was being ironic.

  15. Tomas Rosicky says:

    Haha! As I was scrolling down reading the entries in this blog I seen that guy had wrote ” the personification of fail” and thought “ah fuck I’m putting this fool down!” unfortunately when I scrolled further down you, Limmy, had already beaten me to it!

    P.S I also read in the Daily Star about Fresh comedy on the BBC and the column mentioned you and had a crackin’ photie of you anaw! I know people say “Don’t believe everything you read in the newspaper” but I hope tae fuck that I can believe that you getting your series is true!

  16. Nivster says:

    My bus never showed up.First Celtic.

  17. Nivster says:

    You can change that with each seasons result.

  18. Roach says:

    No comments on the series then Limmy, or has The Daily Star made a CUNTCAKE of it?

    Is MC_RIBS the personification of CUNTCAKE? Or CUNT_CAKE.

    I prefer GASHGUNGE to CUNTCAKE.

  19. Delbotron says:

    CUNTBUBBLE OR SACKMUNCHER

  20. The Dude says:

    FUCK YOU YA CARWASH CUNT, I HAD A DENTAL APPOINTMENT

  21. Lampsey says:

    Blistertits

  22. Dangercall says:

    “Mozilla just crashed….fucksticks!” fucksticks….like they fuck themselves with sticks and get splinters in their bumholes etc.

    My mum can be heard to say at times, “away and fuck a duck!” thats when she isn’t telling us to ” away and bile (boil) yer heed!”

    “Mum, can you watch the weans for me the night?”

    “Away and fuck a duck, I’ve just done a 12 hour shift!”

    “Fucksticks!”

  23. Ludo. says:

    Your maw has a mooth like a washing machine, yatzeeeee!
    you smell like a alkyz cerpet, yatzeeeee!

    Five e’s is the standard.

    This doesn’t really make any sense hahaha

  24. Freewheelin' Franklin says:

    there’s the BNP in got in doon south, cunthooks!

  25. whut the fuck? says:

    CUNTCAKES

    So I herd u liek dem

    —–
    This cliche was brought to you by- *shot*

  26. the_farting_locksmith says:

    MC_RIB, LIMMY.

    Lets call it how it is chaps! Not a personification, but a blogification……..

    aye.

    FAIL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  27. Lutin says:

    Aye, FAIL is absolutely shite.

    How about a big John-Paul style “CRESH!”?

    E.g., for MC_RIBS:

    Vocabulary CRESH!

  28. Jar says:

    a fucking hate that fail thing. epic fail is the worst. so fucking geeky!!!!

  29. Steven says:

    HAHAHAH

    MC_RIBS – Epic Fail! Sorry, Sorry, Cuntcake!

  30. peachdelights says:

    I like “CuntCake”. I’ll spread the word.

  31. Tiffany says:

    I use ‘cuntsocks’, which is adaptable, so can be used to indicate fail or annoyance.

  32. weegram says:

    The blue lagoons fish suppers are barking,FANNYBATTER!

  33. mickredsun says:

    Limmy trys to come up with a new word to replace fail. FAIL.

  34. Kawww says:

    Roach, you sound like a mad CUNTCAKE using GASHGUNGE.

  35. dicko says:

    There is nothing better for this situation and any other you are faced with than….

    Fuckbanana.

    Fuckbanana!

  36. marky says:

    how about ,flangelips ?
    no yes ?

  37. Jonny says:

    My computer crashed. WINDOWS VISTA

  38. G.I Joe says:

    How about fucking die! Die horribly! Die horribly in a trainwreck!

  39. snout says:

    There’s the BNP runnin the country. Political FUDSPLASH.

  40. The Weeman says:

    I quite like FUCKMONKEY.

  41. Tommy says:

    I’m partial to ‘pissflaps’.

  42. andy says:

    what about, my mozzla just crashed on me, FUKIN KILL THEM AW!!

  43. frou says:

    I was saying this last year.

  44. Lost Remote says:

    2868 or 2625

    Quite quick to type, and numeric so folk have to work them out.

    In binary…

    01100011
    01110101
    01101110
    01110100

    or…

    01100011
    01101111
    01100011
    01101011

    I’m trying to learn the binary alphabet. Not sure why. Not catchy either.

  45. Limmy says:

    “Limmy trys to…”

    mickredsun ability to spell “tries” FAIL.

  46. Dubya B Yeats says:

    Fucksmudge – A person who is a non-entity, ie, Vacuous.

    Fuckwitch – A slag who consistently gets men under her spell.

    Fuckwizard – See above.

    Fuckpuppet – Someone who can be easily banged just by pulling the right strings.

    Cockwallet (Sausagewallet) – A man/woman who will do sexual favours for a couple of drinks etc…

    Cuntsmudge – An extreme and highly rare version of the aforementioned ‘Fucksmudge.’

    Cuntwhistle – Someone who talks a lot but never actually says anything.

    I believe all of these were invented by me apart from cockwallet.

    My lawyers (cuntwhistles, the lot of them!) are watching!

  47. Mike says:

    SHITTY TITS, CUNT SNOT, FART TASTE, SPUNK GULP

    FAIL?

  48. The Weeman says:

    see also FLANGEBUCKET

  49. Andyboy says:

    Holy Mackerel!

  50. Roach says:

    KAWWW, I was cunted on GASHGUNGE. Fuckin’ CUNTED.

  51. marky says:

    thanks dubya b yeats , i dont need to buy my viz mag this month as you have most of the Profanisaurus from it there.
    epic CUNTCAKES indeed

  52. Roach says:

    I like FUDSPLASH.

    But only when used in a political context.

  53. Abu el Banat says:

    i’ve never really heard the whole FAIL thing getting used….far too polite. i’m an over user of CUNTYBOLLOX when in need of suitable release.

    PISHFLAPS is another winner.

  54. thescunner says:

    Ah’ve nae idea what you’re on about wi’ this FAIL patter. Husnae reached Lanarkshire yet it would seem.

  55. Dubya B Yeats says:

    ‘i dont need to buy my viz mag this month as you have most of the Profanisaurus from it there.’

    Roach… You lie.

    http://www.milkinfirst.com/dictionary/f.htm

    All mine baby, all mine.

  56. Dubya B Yeats says:

    Roach… Sorry, here’s the Index.

    http://www.milkinfirst.com/dictionary/profanisaurus.htm

    Apology not required. I am also a human being.

  57. Drew says:

    It’s just turning into a tourettes conference now…

  58. Limmy says:

    Hi Abu, great to have you back. Loved the “sycophant” comment. Thought it was really nice of you. You could have said nothing, but you went out of your way to say that, and I just want you to know that I appreciate it.

  59. Limmy says:

    “cuntcock”

    Oh, that’s good. That is GOOD.

    Hahahaha.

  60. Jonny says:

    my personal favourites are pishlips or dickhole

  61. The Prince Of Pish says:

    Uch. fuckin. FUDREEK!!
    (only sounds good in a broad Scottish delivery)

    Can we add that FTW – ‘For The Win’ pish tae this list of shite that needs tae stop?

  62. Roach says:

    I’ll be the judge of whether your apology is required, Dubya.

    I have decided it is not necessary as you provided the perfect example of CUNTCAKERY. Well done, sir.

    My brother-in-law got a profanisaurus for Christmas about 5 years ago and I don’t think I’ve ever belly-laughed as much as I did that day. Laughed so much that my stomach and ribs were cramping up and I couldn’t see for tears. It was made even funnier by my inlaws trying to explain what some of the stuff meant to my mother-in-law. Don’t think she saw the funny side of the Dirty Sanchez. Or Bagpiping.

  63. Roach says:

    Or Teabagging.

  64. highonhope says:

    cowbag

  65. Paul says:

    FANNYBISCUITS! MMMM Delicious FANNYBISCUITS!

  66. Dubya B Yeats says:

    I’ve decided I do want an apology Roach. There is not one example of my filthy wordsmithery in the Profanisaurus. If not an apology then give me some words you young head-dunker!!

    p.s. Limmy, I have it on good authority (my fourteenth sense) that a certain Glasgow Tinterweb funnyman may have a series but has been told to keep his vocal noise dispenser to a minimum. Mmmm?

  67. Marky says:

    Nice wee roster you’ve got here limmy: http://www.limmy.com/tricks/

  68. johnnyorgan says:

    SPUNKMONKEY

    SHITTYCUNT

    SMELLYHOLE

    Man, this is FUN!

  69. jules says:

    I quite like just plain old ‘flaps’ for most things, or for a more severe berating ‘cuntflaps’ ‘flaps in yo face’ and ‘spunk thermometer’ don’t know why I came up with the last one but I’ll bet no other cunt has which is fine by me.

  70. johnnyorgan says:

    JISMLICKER

    TITWALLOPPER

    SHITRAPER

    A guest in the hotel found TITWALLOPPER funny…I’m not sure if it’s spelt right though…

  71. Dangercall says:

    Dubya, i love all your names and definitions and have decided to incorporate ALL of them into my day today. cheers. ESPECIALLY Fuckwitch….that is a fucking brammer!

  72. Wee Bergin says:

    Fanny batter?

    Cock Snot?

    Jizzgoblin?

  73. Marky says:

    Who was it that started “Alabama Hot Pocket” with the Americans? Somebody fae here…

  74. Muig says:

    Someone I used to work would say “Oh, TITTYSHIT!” when things were not going well.

    Incidentally, he told me that his parents thought he was a devout muslim.

  75. mickredsun says:

    I’m going to see Faith No More tonight! Yas!

    How about JIZZLOBBER instead of FAIL

  76. mickredsun says:

    or… CRACKHITLER

  77. PmackC says:

    CUNTNFOACKER

  78. Sirdigbychickencesar says:

    why all the negativity?

    i’ve started using ‘Heatrocks’ when describing things that are beezer!

    “Those trainers are heavy heatrocks”

  79. Marky says:

    Who’s this other Marky guy? There’s only enough room for one Marky on Limmy’s Blog. >.>

    And that’s me ya minge-tickler!

  80. Malky says:

    Hello, I am big fan of Motorhead. You do not look like my many pictures, Lemmy. New hair?

  81. Norm McLeod says:

    Cakefarter. Google THAT tae fuck.

  82. Roach says:

    No apologies coming from my direction Yeats, ya shitguzzling jizzsouffle.

  83. twatstikas is a good alternative

  84. Tomothy says:

    Personal favourite: “Rape-Stain”

  85. Mike says:

    Oh you just got hit by my ARSESHARDS

  86. Dubya B Yeats says:

    Hahaha!! Cheers Roach!

    Dangercall… I told you my Cuntwhistles were watching!! Nah, I kid thee, use away my man… spread the filthy wordsmithery!!

  87. marky says:

    rape-stain winner winner

  88. Mark In Clogs says:

    Oh spunk-omelette I’ve forgot ma keys !

  89. Montyplums says:

    Dangleberry!

  90. oobster says:

    I quite liked the ‘Cunthooks’ suggestion.