That cannae be right, can it?
Jumped in a black taxi at 12:30am at Kelvingrove Street in Anderston, and got out a mile later in Partick. 3-5 minute journey. £6.
That cannae be right, can it?
I remember looking up at the meter about 30 seconds after getting in the taxi, and it was at £4 something.
Naw, that cannae be right.
Did I give him a tip?
Did I fuck.
The world of the Hackney cab is like entering a black hole. I believe it’s something to do with the time being warped.
I got in a taxi at the top of Sauchiehall street, black cab, the guy informed me he needed to stop at the garage in Woodlands road for fuel. Nae bother, am no in a rush. £2.60 later we pull out of the garage and head off to where i live. Did he take that £2.60 aff? did he fuck! He took a pound aff. The. fly. cunt.
Dangercall.
That’ll be the lesbian tax.
Black taxis are the worst man.
They’re very name spell’s predudice.
‘They’re’ and ‘pedudice’ open to offers by the way.
You try keepin a huge mad sister in law away fae yer table/face on a debatable drugs and giunness excuse by the way.
black cabs have a starting fare of £4 after midnight; apparently picking up slightly drunker people demands a higher price…
Sit in a black taxi, travel hauf a mile. I’d rather munch Michael Winner’s frud.
Barney….are you off your face aye? if so, I’m jealous as fuck! I don’t get the lesbian tax thing? How would they know either way?
You were well bumped there Limster.
The thing that annoys me most about taxis nowadays is this – remember you used to get the wee sheet that told you how many yards/minutes you got for your buck? What happened to them? There is absolutely no price lists in taxis anymore…how do they get away with that? Honestly, half the time I’m convinced they make boundary charges and extra tariffs as they go. Like some cowboy builder that’s already demolished half your kitchen before introducing new dilemas that have to be paid for.
And remember when taxi drivers used to help you get your shopping bags etc into the cab? Fuck sake, I’ve seen old women at taxi ranks struggling with shopping and the lanky streak of piss thats driving the cab pretending not to notice by looking the other way or reading a newspaper.
I stopped tipping taxi drivers about 3 year ago. They make at least £25 an hour on average these days. About the same as a football player in the SPL – for sitting on their arse, driving, moaning about coloured drivers in private hire firms and refusing to go certain routes through the city centre because the traffics bad.
They get paid enough to do very little and they are a bit of a showing up, if you ask me, especially compared to REAL cabbies (ie London ones who have the entire atlas of London embedded into their brains – that deserves a tip).
I work for black taxis.
Costs ye 2 quid+ to get in the taxi after midnight on the weekend, so aye. 4 bangers seems right.
You left from my area:D should’ve popped in for a cuppa!
But aye, it would’ve been literally at 4 quid 30 seconds after you pulled away.
& btw ill be defending the black cabs in this comments page. dont even try to give yer stories coz they’re all wrong.
Whit were ye daeing doon in Anderston anyways mate,up to nae fucken good a bet.
Ye should have done a John Paul oan the taxi driver.
osmutante: it’s mer tae dae with quantum mechanics.
I work for the taxis . in the office.
Its 4.20 when you get in the taxi after midnight on a saturday until 6am on a sunday morning
Has been for two years.
Walk next time .
Another lesson learnt, serves ye right for going on the telly !
You should always check out the taxi driver before entering !
I wondered what Debbie Allen was up to now
Fame costs and right here is where YOU start paying
None of us plebs would get charged that, gist you and Peter Sloss !
Barney, your spelling is a disgrace…….hic!
I have stopped tipping taxi drivers. a 3 mile journey I took the other night cost me nearly £8.
I would never get in one of those robbing bastards motors.
I tend to use unlicensed dope smoking guys, who want to come into the party your going to.
Record fare was £6 from Jamaica Street to East Kilbride. That would have been £30-£40 brick in a hackney.
Did the cunt say’ Stand and Deliver’ at the end of the journey. Dick Turpin robbing bashturd!
You should have legged it that distance anyway you lazy cunt!
aye £4 as soon as you park yer keeker in a taxi after midnight at the weekend.
After midnight the minimum fare doubles so the meter was probably at £4 before you started out and the rate at which the fare ticks over is faster after midnight too. So you probably used up your £4 in the first minute and that’s why it ended up at £6. Highway robbery, LITERALLY.
I hate taking taxis.
you should have gave him a tip, something along the lines of “never wash yer windaes wae spades” would have done.
sat night, town to darnley, 20 quid.
@johnnyorgan ‘coloured’???
90% of taxi drivers are wankers man.
Every one you get into, the cunt goes on about how bad the taxi trade is nowadays, how he’s struggling tae make a living etc etc. It’s part of their ploy to get a bigger tip out of you.
Next time you get one that does that, ask him if he’s managing to get away anywhere this year for a break. Then they’ll get all enthusiastic and tell you about the planned trip to Florida and how they try to get out there twice a year or whatever. They fall for it everytime, they cannae help themselves.
Wee story..
I was going to a gig in the Corn Exchange in Edinburgh last year, and got myself into a hotel that was supposed to be a mile away from it. I didn’t know what direction it was in or anything so I got a taxi from the hotel, explaining to the driver that I just didn’t know my way round Edinburgh… Five minutes later, I was on a fuckin stretch of motorway going around the outside of the city and, when asked what the hell was happening and that I knew it should only have been a mile away, the cunt got all flustered and tried to explain that it was all one way systems. Fare cost me 12 fucking quid.
I got a taxi back to the hotel after the gig (this time not mentioning that I didn’t know my way around) and it cost me less than a fiver.
Wankers the fucking lot of them.
My drinking buddy hates them even more than I do and when he’s pished, he regularly flags them down just ask for a light
Edinburgh’s the worst. Drivers are really fucking miserable and they always try and take the piss by driving up roon past the High Court and Royal Mile like a fucking tour bus, especially if ye get a hackney fae Waverley.
that taxi driver has kids 2 feed
a got a taxi last yeer , the town to motherwell , wis fuckin steamin , lost my wallet n everything , the cunt charged us 40 quid.
The first time the £4 charge came in I said to the guy that he must have left the last fare up on the display. Couldn’t take it in! £4 to sit down!!!
Then on Friday there I got on the bus and the All Day Ticket has gone up to £3.50 – at a time when all the petrol prices, etc are coming down. I’m sticking to my bike in the future.
PS – I work in a school that has LOADS of taxis coming in to pick up kids at the end of the day. Sometimes it takes half an hour to the drivers to turn up – if they’re so desperate for the taxi trade to improve they could move their arse to get the fares at the school FIVE DAYS A WEEK – practically free cash from the education board too!
Aye, hackneys are the worst wherever ye are (apart fae london, thae hiv tae prove thirselves before they even get the license). I’m livin in newcastle now and you can only get a black cab fae the train station tae ma place and they charge 18 bucks if yir fuckin lucky. Private cab fae ma bit tae the station? 8 quid if you’ve got a prick at the wheel takin advantage. Hackneys, it’s like a licence tae print money. The dicks.
Also, how the fuck dae ah git ma photie next tae ma name here. Am shite at all this. Very much like the proverbal tramp wae a calculator
@Fiona “the fare ticks over is faster after midnight too. “, simply not true.
@Lost remote, do you think these drivers want to turn up late for the school jobs? There are so many fuck ups, on our end and the schools’ end that lots of jobs end up getting to the drivers late. Sure, some of them are at it, but that’s how it is in any service. Most of them do their turn.
once i was fukd, hopped in a taxi, realised i didnt have enough money to get home, got the taxi to stop 100 metres up the road. £4.10. sickening
overpriced cab fare? taxi for limmy …
‘taxi’ is filmed in front of a live blogging audience
so many fuck ups at your end. No doubt about that, thank fuck it’s not a critical service.
Here, required, what do ye do when a hack driver tells ye £30 to go to Uddingston fae the toon – up front? I said, naw ye had yer light on, and I’ll pay ye what the meter says at the end of the journey (normally £20)? The cunt papped me oot the taxi and fucked off into the night – heard a few stories like that – also had the, “where ye goin? No far enough pal…” shite anaw. Cunts
Trysets says
@johnnyorgan ‘coloured’???
Johnny says
Lets just say some taxi driver’s descriptions of their priate hire competition is a little more…’colourful’ than mine.
What were you doing in Anderston anyway. He probably thought you had been shafting some old hooker and thought he`d shaft you.
£6 = 300 baht. You can be in a taxi for anywhere between 1 and 2 hours in Thailand for that amount of money. Not saying you’ll get anywhere, but the time is cheap.
Just remembered a wee scene I saw unfold at the end of Woodlands Road a couple of years back. A guy flags down a cab with its light on and it drives on without stopping so the guy, like a fucking idiot right enough, chucks his chips at the taxi… so the driver gets out and launches right into him… really kicks the shit out of him. Next thing, another driver pulls up and joins in – no questions asked. Fucked the guy right up for a grease stain. I was on the verge of calling the police but realised that if they caught sight of me dialling I’d probably be next in line. I’m not sure if the chips did permanent damage to the taxi though, maybe it cost the guy an arm and a leg to get it back to tip-top working order.
Halcyon days!
I had a taxi driver once who asked for special favours as I had lost my purse.I was like only 17 at the time.Taxi drivers are creeps.
After clicking on Keenans link im :
1. Confused
2. Frightened
3. Slightly amused
I assume you are too fella?
Maybe he did it cos he recognised ya, thot u were minted and thot “I’m havin this guy for all he’s worth”. Only way I can justify £6 for that journey
You should try living in Shetland, where a taxi from the town to my house (20 miles away) is about £40. But I agree, Glasgow Taxis are scandalously priced.
additionally,
you look a toaty wee piece like sean batty in yer demons ‘plaything’.
No necessarily a bad thing mind.
What do you expect from Celtic supporters who reside in Bishopbriggs…
as all black hack drivers are these days… ask ‘em, bet you I’m right.
thats nothing!!
my friend had to pay £100 for a taxi home in london on thursday night!
cheap as chips!!!!
Why have you protected your Twitter updates Brian? I joined but I wan’t funny enough so I had to leave, now I’m going to be pressured to set up another account to read your stuff and I’m going to have to try to funny all over again, it’s not right.
Shirley, I had a similar experience. Best taxi ride ever.
I fucking love taxi drivers and their crazy prices.
‘Eh that would normally be £3.60 pal but because you’ve got a rucksack its an extra 40p. Oh and because the duration of the journey was an odd number then its an extra £2.20. And lets not forget, i did provide you with unwanted, generic, somewhat racist and sweeping statements about the state of the world…that’ll set you back £1.90. So that’s gonna be seven pounds and ten….woops, i almost forgot that i noticed you enjoying the view from the window…so all in, including the last charge it’ll be £9.63.’
Honest to christ dont think ive had to taxi journeys which have cost the same.
But in conclusion: Think you got done mate. Its your shifty face, i’m telling you.
In Amsterdam its $7.50 as soon as you get in. When a once accused the taxi driver of taking me a longer way he told me in pigeon english to shut up or he’d break “everything you have”. Charming.
dick
April 5th, 2009 at 6:27 am
I work for the taxis . in the office.
Its 4.20 when you get in the taxi after midnight on a saturday until 6am on a sunday morning
Has been for two years.
Now I know why the fuck I don’t go out anymore. Aside from having to endure a lot of drunken wankers all talking shite really loud at eachother where ever I go, I’d want to leave before midnight (so whats the point really?) to avoid that fucken charge and if I had to pay for it I’d spend aw week grinding my teeth in my sleep thinking about it. and fuck getting a night bus….
I did however get black hacks from outside my church in the winter nights. Only cost a couple of quid really but then ma maw chinned me and said that they aren’t as safe as private hires because they are not booked/accounted for etc. So I stopped that.
After reading Shirley’s comment I am glad as fuck. If someone suggested that to me, especially a cunt with the power to lock you in his fucking car, I’d shite myself and never leave the cunting house again.
I once had a taxi driver in Dallas try and charge me $60 because he dropped his mate off at the bus station, He was told tae get tae fuck, didn’t care if he had a gun or no.
Thats the kind of crap that ruins a good night out. In fact, it puts me off even having a drink, i’d rather take the car. Do they not know there is a credit crunch on?
thieving bastids.
Leave aff the black cab drivers, they dae a smashin job so they do. Really terrific so they are. It’s no their fault the old hackneys run on unicorn tears and fuckin caviar. Mind you, that 6 quid probably covered a fistful of opals and rubys if he hid wan ay they new fuel tanks their usin. So, not only should ye have tipped the man, ye should have thanked the cunt for a shot in his chariot
Fuck that, you should have said “av only got a £3.50 can you reverse back a bit?”
I got in a black hack with my pals and cousin.My cousin wanted droped home and we were going to the west end. My cuz tried to give me £20 but i wouldnt take it, so she gave it to the taxi driver…so we droped my cuz off then we headed for the west end. The fair was only £10 so i asked for my change n he said
“no one gave me £20″
n a said aye they did….you just droped her off
then he said
“well shes left now so…..the 20 is mine”
after arguing with the guy for about 10mins i gave up n let him have his £10 as if they dont make enough fuckin money!!!!
Con artists the lot of them. Still, they the private taxi drivers creep me out…so….
Aye…
Im only 14, but the taxi drivers are fucking ridiculous…
A taxi from my bit In Uddingston to Showcase cinemas in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY charged me £5 once. It was only a 5 minute journey…
Wankers.
Us taxi drivers have to charge these prices because little turds like you keep spewing & pissing the seats… our weekly take home pay of average £1900 is small compensation for what we put up with…
Go on the cabbies!!!!!
I killed a taxi driver once
Shirley: I had a taxi driver once who asked for special favours as I had lost my purse.I was like only 17 at the time.Taxi drivers are creeps.
cock or the walk ?
Aye, I cannae go taxi drivers or their unsolicited chat when I’m trying to get from A to B. This is what’s in my mind when they ask me if I watched the game, or tell me about some injustice they’re suffering, or what the traffic’s like in a certain part of town (rendered text style): 8===O~~~~
Scum & thelastpoundnote
aye i was coming home fae a gig at the corn exchange last year and got charged 6/7 pound fae the garage just doon fae the train station near the corn exchange to haymarket station (one stop away)
Yoohoo
that is shocking, i woulda have phoned the polis right there and then and cost him a good few quid in having to wait about for them. if he had tried to throw me out id have got him charged wi theft and assault. id have made that the worst mistake he ever fucken made taking that money
Anderston?
Where the prostitutes hang aboot?
hmmmmmm
I don’t know what the fuss is all about, taxi drivers are just like the rest of us trying to make a few bob. I’m fed up with all these post with people saying it cost me a fortune for a 5 minute journey, you know what? Why don’t you fucking walk?
Taxi drivers are providing a 24hr service to chauffeur your lazy arse 5 minutes up the road and all you can do is moan…
Shoulda chibbed the prick.
Jimmy Docherty: £1900 a week for driving about and providing shite patter, and you’re moaning about a bit of sick and pish?
what aboot that rapist taxi driver in england? offering lassies a glass of spiked champagne to help celebrate his lottery win, then shagging them when they were passed oot.
sorry but if yer daft enough to accept a glass of champagne in the back of a taxi and believe it’s because the driver is celebrating a lottery win then you deserve to get humped and left at the side of the road.
When it comes to taxi drivers, I’m with Dennis Wise and Dirty Den.
i used to get black cabs all the time until i realised how cheap the private ones are. it used to cost me £12-£13 to get to knightswood from town centre but now i use hamden taxis n it only costs me about £7. so fuck the blacks cabbies
Jimmy Jones
cock or the walk ?
I think you’ll find the phrase is “Cock it or Walk it”
I hate it when you get a taxi and they have to ask you for directions to where you’re going.
My pal telt me that they do this cos most people follow main roads/bus routes when they’re giving directions and that means yer friendly driver disnae have tae take the short cuts and lose out on their fare.
Just dae wit ah dae, deal wae the cunts accordingly
eddiemunster “you should have gave him a tip, something along the lines of “never wash yer windaes wae spades” would have done.”
A better tip, “next time wear a fucking mask, so I know Im being robbed!”
The words “lazy cunt” spring to mind here.
i’d rather get a taxi and pay extra than get on a bus full of pished neds with junkies needles jammed under the seats.
jimmy docherty £1900 a week? Ya poor wee soul, You better hope I don’t get in your taxi, cause I will drop my trousers and squeeze a durty big shite out in the back of your taxi then proceed to smear it all over the the we glass divider, then spew fae the smell.
Anyone suggesting walking from Anderston, are you wanting Limmy and Lynn to get mugged/attacked? It’s mental doon there, fuck sake.
Limmy, you just have to look at it this way. £6 isn’t much to pay to get home safely with peace of mind that you and your loved one have come to no harm. Does that make you feel better about it?
really Eddie? you deserve it do you? Is that your statement? that what your saying aye?
Tiffany, I wasn’t with him. I went to the dancing.
Anderston is no a bad area. Walked through there many a time on my route home.
NCR: I think you’ll find the phrase is “Cock it or Walk it”
Thanks for keeping me right mate im a wee bit out of touch with sexpest etiquette.
Did you get a glass of champagne ?
I agree with Eddie. Never take sweets from strangers.
That’s like the first thing yer folks teach ye. Besides how to say ‘mum’ or ‘dad’.
Well, maybe they don’t *deserve* it. But they should have seen it coming.
Excuse the pun. :S
a stay in ayr but am up in glasgow for uni. a can assure u the taxis up there are alot cheaper than down here! its always between 8 and 10 quid for the 5 minute journey up the road to ma bit after the town! pish
Whenever you get in a taxi these days one of the first things they start talking baout is how there’s too many taxi’s on the road and that they’re stuggling to make a living… If they say this crap to me me I always say aye mate, you’re no the only one. I never, ever, ever tip anyone. Why should I? I don’t give a fuck.
See how that bit at the start of Reservoir Dogs… I blame that bit for making most people feel guilty about tipping.
A lot of bollocks tipping.
Why the fuck should I tip good service?
See how when you go into a resturaunt and they’re really pish I take money off the bill. You have a legal right to. They can tell you to never come back too. But why would you if it was pish!
I’m a massive bastard.
Now then… if I’m out with my mates and they’re all tipping I do too ‘cos it’s rude to scab on your mates. That’s the only reason I’d ever put extra in. And I never ever short change my mates. Ever.
But some cockbreathed taxi driver or dumb ass waitress or some monkey of a barber… naw… get tae fuck…
You get a wage the same as me so if you can’t live off it get another fucking job.
Arseholes!
Honestly, fuck anyone who wants me to pay extra for something that they’ve done just because they done it right.
Fuck them all man.
Wouldn’t you prefer to stop tipping too.
It’s easy…
A) bill comes for dinner, put down your card, wait till they come over and give them your card they give you the machine, you punch in your number, they give you back your card, you get up and go… done.
B) Barber says “That’ll be £9″ hand him £10 and wait for your change, pocket your £1 and leave… done.
C) Taxi driver says “That’ll be £6.50″ Hand him £10 and wait for your change, pocket your £3.50 and get out the taxi… done.
Who else do you tip anyway? Who? I can’t think of anyone else. Why do these cunts deserve more than they get paid?
Fuck them.
C’mon though Dangercall, when you heard the story, didn’t you think why the fuck were these women accepting a drink off a taxi driver in the cab?
Did they think, “How come this cunt is drinking champagne at the wheel? Och, that’s alright if he’s sharing it about.”
If he’d really won the lottery, he’s hardly going to be ferrying fuckers about and handing out the free bubbly.
Did you think he charged them extra for crossing the boundary?
I dont no what you’s are greetin about check the prices for aberdeen taxi’s alot more than glasgow and edinburgh friday night after 10pm £3.40 plus £1 extra if an office hire order a 5/7 seater fair and a half £5.10 and again if an office hire £1 extra so £4.40 before you move or £6.10 before you move then after 2am goes up again £5.40 plus £1 5/7 seater £7.90 plus £1 so in reality youv nothin to greet about really lol
Fuck taxis. The drivers are cunts. Total scum. I ate a taxi driver.
And don’t try to defend their arsehole reasons for charging what they do. They are absolute wankers of the highest order, mind you that wee driver I got last week was a tasty bastard. I chopped off his foot and ate the fucker.
Limmy this is the worst thread ever. What next? The nights are fair drawin in? (well actually they’re not but that is immaterial.) I demand that you create a topic, which presents more interesting discussion.
Roach, i was on the wind up don’t worry. Aye, a thought that mself but see to be honest with you, im one of these people who end up doing something so as not to hurt someones feelings so in that situation I could see me taking a drink. Especially if he laid it on dead thick. I’d have done it. Especially if i had a drink already which my all accounts they woman had. It’s just scary though in’t it? you do something to be polite and thats what happens. Pure bad judgement. Ye trust the black cab deint ye? Well, hopefully that will have been a warning to lassies. Don’t trust anybody.
Well the black cabs in Belfast that wait at the docks for the boat from Stranraer will take 3 or 4 people, and try to charge each of you the full fare.
Bastards. Chancing bastards.
Aye, let’s wrap this whingin pish up, eh? Ah’d suggest seein whit the general opinion is aboot thae 2 fuckin psycho wee boys in Doncaster thit’s been charged whae attempted murder but you’d probably drum up mair hatred than the whole jade goody shite. Fuck that, lighten the mood captain, lighten the mood
No no no it’s Parky Vs Jade. seen that?
Dangercall –
Whit? Michael Parkinson? That Parky? Against whit, a re-animated zombified Jade Goody? Is thir nae end tae her reign of terror?
dangercall that lassie should have listened tae charlie, but instead of refusing to go and see some puppies she should have declined his glass of peach concorde.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/80/Charley_says.jpg
Jimmy Jones
April 7th, 2009 at 11:09 am
NCR: I think you’ll find the phrase is “Cock it or Walk it”
Thanks for keeping me right mate im a wee bit out of touch with sexpest etiquette.
Did you get a glass of champagne ?
===
Dont mention it wee pal. Its not sexpest patter, its patter I remember from years ago when a girl at school i used to go about with, went round the lochs wi some fella, and he was wanting her to put out and she was telling him where to go etc, then he delivered the famous line……………. Cock it or walk it. Its just some patter that has always (rather amusingly) remainded in my tiny wee mind.
I dont believe she got a glass of champagne, from what i can remember it was just cock that was on offer!!!!
I was well under the weather last week when i asked the barmaid to call me a taxi.
“Your a taxi Jim”
AWRYT LIMMY iv joined this twitter shite which i refused to use in the past but seeing as your on it Alot i thought id gie it a try . How the fuck do i comment you haha ? cheers
Never mind the TAXI outrage what about London police charged with manslaughter !
naw im still wondering if limmy agrees with parky
Bits and pieces, Dangercall.
Whats a sink estate ?
tattiehowkers – “Whats a sink estate ?”
Its where all the tap dancers live!
Aythankyu!
I was in a london black cab last year and I was going to give the guy the balance of the £7.20 fare as a tip. So I hands him the Bank of Scotland tenner and he says this isn’t proper money Jock haven’t you got any proper English money. So I said this is proper money to which he replied If I wasn’t in such a hurry I wouldn’t take this. He handed me the £2.80 change very reluctantly and I said if you weren’t such a fuckin prick I would have given you this £2.80 as a tip. I wouldn’t want a tip from a fuckin Jock he snarled. Go back to Jockland you fuckin’ scrounging cunts he said. We English pay for you scrounging cunts up there.
So I noticed a bloke down on his luck sitting in in old blanket and what looked like a badger under it with him on the pavement. I got out the taxi and dropped the £2.80 right into his cup.
You should have seen his fat bloated fuckin dook when I shouted keep sending that money and we’ll share it out amongst the needy.
The bloke under the blanket said If you could give me another quid Jock I could buy a croissant and a coffee for my breakfast.
I said eat your fuckin badger you ungrateful fucker. Then he shouts yes get back to Jockland ya fuckin ponce.
Yie cannae win in London when you are one of us.
The moral of this story ‘buy a bike’
I’ve just realised I want to be a Harlem Globetrooter.
Too short. </3
LAWL.
Trotter. I meant trotter.
Aye done it myself before sauchiehall street cab saturday night. £4 straight in. says to my friend next to me in a quiet voice, “since whens it been four quid, thought it was two eighty?” then taxi abruptly stops. “well aboots four years hen. Im no taking yoos. oot now.”
fag.
lol ma da’s a taxi driver a nd he’s a wee prick
choose private hire next time, mate. a tenner for a trip from tollcross to scotstoun.
It’s usually £4 when you get in on a Saturday night…cost me £6 to get fae the back of St Enoch’s to Bridgeton Cross on Friday night…that’ll be danger money but.
Have you seen those Sinclair A-frame fold up bikes? They look both mental and brilliant at the same time. Let’s make Sir Alan a few bob and spend this month’s taxi fares (probably £200 on average going by the comments) and get folding and rolling. Save the planet too! Ha ha! See ya on the roads! Flat!