The judge introduces the act.
A video interview follows where the choreographer and co. point out that if the act doesn’t do well tonight then there’s a real danger the act won’t do well tonight.
The act performs and they are either crap (Eoghan), annoying (Diana fucking Vickers) or boring (everycunt else).
The act finishes, and Louis tries to talk over the crowd. Dannii and Cheryl say nothing of importance. Simon says that the performance was the something-something “ever”, and the crowd go daft.
The bottom two do their sing off. Makes no difference, really.
Someone leaves. Lot of shite.
Bring back Daniel.
But that’s what it’s always been like. Have been watching Strictly Come All Over The Place by accident?
What was Danni Minogue all about on Saturday? Cringeworthy!!
Plus I hate the judges trying to tell us a performance has been one of the best ever when the reality is, it was just pure pish (see Eoghan’s last performance for an example of this). Patronising, condescending cunts!
I’ve no watched it for a few weeks now, so don’t know who’s in and who’s out. Do the boys still cry at the drop of a hat, or have they manned up?
Strictly’s where it’s at! It’s not too late to convert
I like to listen out for Simon saying ‘that was potentially…. world class’. Makes me gag every time.
I know, Narelle.
I really want world class Eoghghaan to win, and watch Simon do fuck all with him, One True Voice style.
Dangleberry, I watch SCD now and…
Hold on, that’s good. The acronym SCD can be read as “Scud”.
Everyone is to now refer to Strictly Come Dancing not as “Strictly”, but as “Scud”. Or so help me god, I will ban you so hard your feet won’t touch the ground.
Thank God,
Thank God I’m not the only person who hates that wee Diana lassie. Singing through your nose sounds terrible and she looks like a fish with big fat lips!
Wee Fudd that she is!
No dangleberry, ‘I’m a Celebrity’ is where it’s at.
I never even considered strictly before but now its called “Scud” i’m gonna tune in every week!
Now thats a Brucey bonus
Yeah Cowell says every performance was a “train crash” until it gets to the last few weeks when everyone is “incredible, by any standard” (which means he is comparing them to the yanks who are obviously better) He can’t put anyone down in the final weeks because he has to make some dosh from the xmas single.
I fucking hate these shows, they are all the same. Their aim is to get eyeballs watching a screen and they script in drama or sob stories to do it. At the end of it all, they want you to spend money on texts and shite CDs. I loved Popstars where it all started, after that you know each series will be the same formula.
As for the first rounds where they wheel mentally handicapped wannabees to get the pish ripped out them by millionaires, that’s when I tipped over into hatred.
Louis always starts his critique with ‘you look like a popstar’.
Cheryl with her ‘your getting betta and betta every week and your confidence is growing’
Narelle, I’m just waiting for that anaw. ‘I think that you – with the right song – are potentially world class’.
The X Factor isn’t actually about the contestants anymore – it’s about the judges. Get Dannii sacked and bring back Sharon Osborne.
just glorified karaoke. i’d rather massage my bell-end with a cheese grater than watch this ordure.
Limmy Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I know, Narelle.
I really want world class Eoghghaan to win, and watch Simon do fuck all with him, One True Voice style.
Dangleberry, I watch SCD now and…
Hold on, that’s good. The acronym SCD can be read as “Scud”.
Everyone is to now refer to Strictly Come Dancing not as “Strictly”, but as “Scud”. Or so help me god, I will ban you so hard your feet won’t touch the ground.
———————————————————————————
Fuck that reminds me I’ve still done hee haw with scudbook.com
I don’t watch any of that shite, although I’m watching the jungle one. It pains me to say the full name as the nuts in my shite have more celebrity status than them.
SCUDS = remind me of ‘Desert Strike’ – what a game that was!!
I wouldn’t get tired of gubbing that Diana person in the face over and over again.
And I don’t even watch it.
Aw i seem to hear
Louis – You look like a popstar , you sound like a popstar YOU …. COULD … BE … IN … THE … FINAL!!!!!!
Cheryl Cole – Babe , Pet , I Love You.
Danni – I would never steal anyones song … Eh … I think it was the wrong song choice
Simon Cowell – Never fails to get a word in about his previous succesful acts , That was ( Pause , go and make a cup ah tea and get a scone ) come back sit down and listen ” Incredible ”
But what else is there to do , oh wait … Have a fucking life
. …
haha, it is gettin quite boring int it. next week they have tae sing two songs each though so hopefully it’ll get better.
chief Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
SCUDS = remind me of ‘Desert Strike’ – what a game that was!!
—
Fuckin Immense!
This is what I’ve figured out over the last couple of years;
When they show the wee montage at the beginning before each act comes on they always try and rack up the tension. You have at least one of the judges saying ‘if they don’t pull this off tonight, they could be in real trouble’ then it cuts to the mentor saying ‘I know it’s a challenging song but he/she/they have never let me down’. It’s even better if there’s something specific like Diana’s throat trouble that they can milk for even more suspense. Last week it was Eoghan having ‘trouble’ with the high notes ‘Oh no, will he manage to reach them?’ ‘This could be a disaster’. So then you knew that he WAS going to reach them cos they’d hardly let him go out and sing a song and be utterly shite.
I still like to watch it though, predictable, derivative shite that it clearly is.
I DETEST that Diana’s voice however. I put her on mute last week, she sounded great.
I’ve not had a right good Greggs in a while, I mean I canny remember the last time I had a Greggs and thought, that was cracking.
Chicken pasties done that for me for a while, and then I’d flick between those and steak bakes. Sausage rolls are always a safe bet but there’s no been anything in a long time where I thought, that was magic.
It’s all fucking bollocks.
When are they going to do the Running Man for real?
Big Arnie should host it.
I hate Diana’s wee box of vocal tricks. In fact, that’s what I said to Lynn.
“A daft wee lassie wae her box of three tricks: the croaking, the way she pronounces her “oooh”s, and the hand thing”.
Lynn said fuck all.
diana is a wee pump
Aye her funny wee hands, enoughs enough, get er ta fuck! It’s a joke now limmy a fuckin joke, I’d rather watch badly dubbed porn on Bravo!
Aye, so limmy did you say hi when you and your women passed me in the street, naw did ya fuck, you fuckin cut me man, cut me fuckin’ deep!!
Get a gravatar, funkacycle, and make incidents like that a thing of the past.
Ok i’ll do that
There we are, all done, now you can see my ugly pus!
funkacycle, I didn’t say hi but I did sniff your hair as you walked past.
I think Leona Lewis ruined XFactor by being a brilliant singer, now the music she sings is naff, but she can sing like fuck… so every other cunt comin on the show fae noo on gets tarred wi her brush and nane e them are as good or possibly ever will be…
Bad choice putting her on the show instead of just putting our records wi her Cowell, bad choice.
hey lynn, I had my hat on, you know the one in the photo when I nicked your man DVD fae the mushies.
daniel is floating around a pool in spain on a double lilo with the corpse of his dead wife.
by the way… its called Sickly Dumb Prancing
Diana Vickers… what are those hands all about? stop touching your face dammit!
(Remind anyone of Ricky Bobby’s interview in Talledega nights?)
Diana Vickers: I think I could break her.
Why has noone pointed out the fact that she’s just copying her out the Cranberries?! Except she’s shite. Shite shite shite.
Diana, sack. Ehoughaghan, sack. GTF (sorry JLS), sacks. Ruth, ride. Alexandra, sack.
arielydia Says:
“Why has noone pointed out the fact that she’s just copying her out the Cranberries?!”
I pointed it oot, but it was to Lynn, in front of the telly.
‘Why has noone pointed out the fact that she’s just copying her out the Cranberries?!’
Lorraine Kelly also pointed it out yesterday on LK Today.
I love Diana Vickers. I would have her babies.
Arielydia, I was going to post yesterday that she’s ripping off Dolores O’Riordan but then my laptop jumped back to the beginning of the post and I overtyped what I’d written and that made me go in a huff so I didny bother.
So, to summarise. Aye, rip-off. And shite upon shite.
I like big Ruth and her quivery bottom lip. Hypnotic.
‘jack Says:
diana is a wee pump’
Sorry but jack is right – she would get it like.
If Mikey can avoid nomination for the dance off with Jade then I think he can go on to finish the Bush Tucker Trial with a 10 from Len Goodman’s Next Top Model.
When is Rhydian getting his celebrity bum skooshed like the “British version of Chris Rock”?
DS
Ma other half pointed the Diana/Cranberries link out in week one. A still hink she is awright. Remember Alex from Fame Academy? Everycunt was like “Oh she is sooo different and unique sounding!”, aye- she was also a wank! Wee Diana seems awright but. I want Ruth to win, what. a. ride!
I really canny stress how much Diana’s voice goes right through me. Nails doon a blackboard or cat being burnt alive, I haven’t decided yet. I have to mute the telly while she’s on which isnae a very encouraging sign for someone looking to be a future recording artist.
Lynn your right ! ‘I’m a Celebrity’ is where it’s at. Have you heard the shit that David comes away with ? And the crying
That Diana is weird. She sings like she’s got the hiccups, and you’ve already picked up on the Cranberries vocals.
But when she does her interviews I think she’s just very nice indeed. Wrap the hand thing and the no shoe wearing though.
Why was Danni crying over a song? I thought the ex-junkie had threathened her with a dirty needle, she seemed petrified on Saturday!?
Anyway, I’ve never voted on X-factor I just like to moan.
Yes Erin, David is brilliant to watch. Did you like his song about celebrities? ‘Bif, baf, bof we’re celebrities’, hahaha, genius.
haha dont forget Lynn ‘celebrities’ down on our knees’ . He was jibbering away to himself in his hammock last nyt , crazy man.
Content is king.
Limmy, you spelled Louise wrong. Unacceptable.
His name isn’t Louise, Yvonne, that’s a lassie’s name.
Louise?
aye but louise walsh is so gay it’s spelt Louise
i think that diana sounds like cilla black
maybe I am showing my age
there aint a lorra lorra surprises in X factor these days
(took me all of 2 secs to think of that pish)
how’s about this i’ve just found….
http://www.justin.tv/widgets/jtv_live.racadae26f7f8ac567e2acb1226a95ad262d6855e.swf?channel=tictalk
Its like this guy streaming tv from his computer with pure mad glesga banter commentary over the top, its the celtic game the now. Well funny.
argh, I just checked that link again and it’s gone offline. pish
Och I quite like it when they have to sing two songs now, you get to analyse them even more, pick bigger holes in their performance.
All these shows are just a load of shite meaningless piffel.
The problem is – I teach in a college and its amazing now the number of my students who buy into this shite and want to be famous – but they all seem to have the collective talent of a festering cow shit.
There’s this one wee skinny white guy who claims he can do rap – when in fact its just a nervous stutter. I think he has tourettes or something. He’s even been to the auditions filled with the delusion that he’s actually good and can make it. I didnt even ask what they’d said to him.
I feel like crying every time I look at this guy! No joke!!
Anyway, false hope is cruel, and as you say Limmy, X Factor is SHITE.
Ah shite. I was trying to careful and make sure I spelt everything right as well. Louie I meant, Louie.
That’s it ruined.
I mean Louis! This just keeps getting worse.
Del says “As for the first rounds where they wheel mentally handicapped wannabees to get the pish ripped out them by millionaires, that’s when I tipped over into hatred.”
Seriously, I think that is the best bit!
Daniel was robbed
This cunt: http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00563/SNN26BB01S-280_563768a.jpg
Looks like this cunt: http://blog.themavenreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/50-cent.jpeg
Sorry, Yvonne, I edited your original post to make you look like you’re an idiot. I got it wrong and you got it right.
There!
You’ve restored my faith in myself. I really thought I’d written Louise. You’re a harsh man Limmy.
Calashnikov,
To develop your previous post,
This cunt
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00563/SNN26BB01S-280_563768a.jpg
Looks like this cunt:
http://www.firstfoot.com/News/images/krankies.jpg
Television’s John Fashanu won it.