I still grudge it like fuck. Ireland shouldn’t be the top Celtic nation that everycunt’s happy for, it should be Scotland. We invented everything, after all. What have they done?
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It seems to be well celebrated up on Royston Road, they’ve got the bunting up already!
gie them their due, they invented terrorism and abstract dentistry.
potatos?
Grown tatties?
Go fuck yerself
was simon templar actually a saint (ie canonised by the pope etc) or was he just a person who used that name as a nickname? bit like saint of saint and greavsie fame. or is he too also revered by the great unwashed? saint patricks day, saint elsewhere. i feel 200 pints of guinness coming on …
Fuck all man, fuckfuckingall
The cunts even tell lies about one of our giants getting battered by one of their giants… lot of shite… mon the Benandonner
Spawned daft Americans?
Tips on how not to look. Dublin is pish. I went there for my 30th. Total shite. The bar staff are unfriendly fuckers who just want you to get tae fuck. They can ram their St. Patrick. Stupid punters walking about with big foam “im a fanny” bunnets on. Get tae!
There better at promoting themselves with the the Craic etc.
preconceptions: Irish, Loves a drink and a chat and song
Scot, Alcoholic, heart disease, random acts of violence.
we gave you STD’s you ungrateful bastard.
Finally some cunts actually came out and said what we’ve all been thinking for years.
They invented St Patrick’s Day, great surnames and nice accents. That’ll do for me.
any cunt ever watch the horror film called the leprichaun?
fuckin brilliant.
Leprechaun is fantastic and only surpassed by Leprechaun 4: Leprechaun in space.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116861/plotsummary
Oh and also Leprechaun 5: Leprechaun In the Hood.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209095/plotsummary
They gave you Michael Flatley and Lord of the Dance. (If that isn’t enough reason to impose sanctions against them, I don’t know what is.)
My thoughts exactly Brian, often I bore my plastic Oirish pals with their shamrock keyrings, other countires flags and false love for the ‘old country’.
Exactly the same climate and enviro as Scotland except we have kick ass mountains etc, and a similar people with the exceptions that at the turn of the last century we were the leaders in most innovative sciences thats led to most of todays technologies and industry as well as during the war not allying with the Nazis….
I can see why people long for the one eyebrow and poxy accent.
Still and all I bet Arthur Guinness and co fkin love it…
i stayed in bondi-junction in the eastern suburbs of sydney and it’s known locally as county bondi, due to the amount of oirish fellahs livin derr.
If you think they are ugly in this part of the world, you should see the hacket cunts with sunburn and they celtic tops on. wooft.
Some rather tidy burds amongst them mind you and it wasn’t too difficult to prise them away from the broken toothed, lumpy-heided men.
An ozzie pal of mine warned me off them though by saying “Irish chicks mate, they’ve got dirty motors”. This means they have smelly fannies.
On one occasion he was definitely correct, I’ve never done a reverse cat-dip manouvre so quickly in my life.
Know what the worst thing is? They give you Paddy’s day off, but no the next day. So last night I got fuckin BURST and missed an important meeting this morning.
Perhaps it’s cause we fuckin’ moan about every-fuckin-thing and they just get on with being happy loveable characters while we maon about them being fuckin happier than us.
Why did Scottish cunts invent so much? Because we were moaning like fuck.
“That cunts deef, he canny hear me shoutin over yon field tae him. Ah know, ah’ll invent a telephone.”
- Alexander G. Bell
“Ah canny be fucked goin’ tae the pub but there’s fuck all to do in ma midden of tenement. Ah know, I’ll fuckin invent a telly. Fuckin yaaaaas! Parahandy, Hamish MacBeth and Taggart!”
- John (Yogi Bear) Logie Baird
History doesn’t lie.
Why don’t we all just go out on St. Andrew’s Day and get pished on Tennents, eat haggis and wear tartan tammies and skirts? Because I’d rather moan like fuck about how shite Scotland is.
Westlife are my one reason to advocate floating Ireland off into the Atlantic ocean to America, where all of the locals would heartily welcome their “ancestors” with open arms.
They are the very definition of the word mediocre:
- Good looking? Not bad.
- Can they sing? Not bad.
- Good songs? Not bad, covers.
am sure there are some cool Irish folk
- so far though
- the few dozen I’ve met
….well
….they’ve all been two-faced fannies ..to be sure
twats
Here’s somthing else. There’s a pub round the corner from me called the Dora Keogh that bills its self as an “Authentic Irish Pub”. It’s all cozy inside, those little hammered copper top table, serves Guiness… the whole bit. Anyway I was walking by there on Sunday (the day before St. Patrick’s Day) and they had strung up loads of those cheap shiny green plastic shamrocks and plastic green hats. Why would a pub that’s supposed to be “Authentic Irish” have to do this? Isn’t that what pubs that aren’t Irish do to try and attract punters? It’s like one of those shops that only sells Christmas stuff decorating for Christmas.
Anyway fuck them Irish and their stupid day. Bloody amateur night anyway.
badly tarmaced frives, horses runnig round council estates, big gummed simpletons with eyebrows on their cheeks…
c’mon deres more to oireland dan dat!
how many tatties does it take to kill an irishman?
none!
*frives = drives
That’s yer Sir Arthur C. Clarke died then.
This is pretty much the best thing Ireland has ever done:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU
Considering that a good deal of you want to be Irish is it because…We are better looking, smarter and not afraid of the English? So bend over and take another one from George you cholesterol chuggers… And as for the twat who thought Dublin was ‘pish’ the extent of his pub crawling was probably in the gobshite hotspot of templebar where kilt waring dickheads drink 14 pints of overpriced guinness searching for the ‘Irish experience’ while Ronny Drew drawls through another rebel song at 20000000 decibels, no wonder the barstaff hated you, they wouldnt have to put up with this shit if you had a bit of class and taste…
A good point well made.
just waitin on someone to add a `WE ARE THE PEOPLE` to this anti irish drivel.
Get something new posted up here rapid Limmy cos it’s ripping my knitting. Fucksake anyone would think that you a live shows comming up or something. Finger oot!
Lloyd Grossmans a cunt.
TIOCH FAIDH AR LA
“We invented everything, after all.”
Including the deep-fried Mars bar. Bravo.
thats what i think. annoying amercian fuckers always put them on a pedestal, scots are well cooler.
why do we all celebrate it even more that st andrews day?!
even my brother in law (who’s a cockney) an his mate (fucking jamaican!) went out for a drink for paddys night.
ooh , I could crush a grape.
p.s looking forward to seeing you the morns nicht!!!
not relevant to any of the postings on here … but … i have been on a drink/drug fuelled binge for the last 48 hours (the speed hit allows me to type with unerring accuracy). so … all i want to say is … limmy … i love you. you comedy fuck you.
Fuck off with the usual scottish anti irish rants,the reason Ireland is the top Celtic Nation is because they are a united people who chased off their English Oppressors, not like us Scottish who are a crowd of Royal Family loving wankers,Shame on the Scottish traitors.The Irish are the only ones who have the right to call themselves a Celtic Nation.Most Scots enjoy being a part of England especially the unionjack waving crew at Ibrox.
It always amazes me how there is a bigger celebration for St Patricks Day than St Andrew Day in Scotland.
I’m organising an event to celebrate Scotland, not as part of any political organisation or anything, just to celebrate our beautiful country >> http://www.bebo.com/saoralba is where the details at…
This has turned into a shameless plug, sorry Limmy
xx
Would anyone like to see my monkey impersonation???
I don’t mind the Irish in their own country but why they invade the rest of the world then talk about how brilliant it is back home is beyond me..
And as for St.Patrick’s day – it’s an Irish celebration. Let the Irish enjoy it. Just don’t bother me with it in my country, Scotland.
some pretty shockin comments bein made limmy you no think?
rangers man aye?
Im a loner with a boner and im gona telephone her!Sit at peace please children
They gave the scottish kilts, and our bagpipes are fae africa. And nobody really lists television as a scottish invention anymore. (wikipedia for one)
They did give us Father Ted!
When everyone says its the best thing since sliced bread, thats rhyming slag for Father Ted.
As an Irish citizen living in Scotland, it actually warms my heart to see that my home country is doing so well these days that people actually resent us. Before we know it, we’ll be turning into the English!
Sliced bread is rhyming slang for Father Ted, the things you learn…
As for the Irish, like everyone else, some good ones, some bad ones.
Anyone (including half the “Tartan Army”) that perform to stereotype are all a bit embarrassing. Though it always amazes me that if you criticize the Irish for this (esp in Glasgow) you are all of a sudden some bigot, and by proxy a Rangers fan. Isn’t there a bit of irony in that?
Ooooh,ooooh, look who’s pissy about not being able to drink on St Patrick’s day
Amen Limmy. Grudge? No. However, Scotland should be on at least a par.
Aye, well, as long as we’re part of this United Kingdom joke we willnae be able tae have a real identity will we. You see what we’re missing oot on!
Big Mick,
“Ireland is the top Celtic Nation is because they are a united people who chased off their English Oppressors”
At least The Scots had the balls to chase off their Roman oppressors
I just see the Irish like I see the Scots, a people that have enough confidence in themselves that they can handle having the piss taken out of them. I prefer it when things are like that, rather than when things get all serious and somebody says “rangers man aye?” and 10 minutes later somecunt’s getting glassed.
Still, Scotland does have:
– a national breakfast
– a national musical instrument
– a national thing a bit like a skirt for blokes
– a national weed
– a national massive sausagy thing
– a national massive pole-throwing game
– a national cloth
– a national getting you drunk thing
– a claymores.
- and claymores. And. and and and.
I thought 18 Wheeler was a good band as well.
Few things first, the first Scots came form Ireland; they never invented terrorism they just took a British concept and made it an art form. Fin McCool never battered the Scottish giant Brendannon, he just tricked him by getting in his weans pram and Brendannon thought fuk that if that’s the size a his wean! They had kilts first, aye awrite they look like skirts but every Scotsman knows kilts a kilt! Guinness is the only drink of the gods, and ok they spell whisky as wisky but can prove they made it first (well paid English tax on it first) they werny allied wi the Nazis they just hated the English wi good reason and were neutral during the war. Its an actual Celtic nation unlike Scotland cos we were to greedy to fight longer harder and better for the scraps aff the English table. Theve a good fitba team! They beat the English at war and are still fighting wi them cos they spat there rattle oot the pram and created northern Ireland cutting aff there nose to spite there face. everybody in the world wants to be Irish, apart fae the Scottish cos were just second hand paddys anyway, they populated the world to ensure englands raign of terror would one day end. Aye… Tiocfaidh Ar la! They kept there own language and use it, there own sports like hurly and Gaelic fitba fill stadiums 4 times the size a ours weekly. And you don’t get stabbed or abuse hurled at ye for being on the other side. Theres a load mare but my fav 1 is they invented the mighty CELTIC to fuk Rangers fans off and do it very well! Aw that and im still proud to be Scottish even though im a plastic paddy whos blood has been long watered doon wi impurities like Vikings, Anglo Saxons, Romans, Germans Britons and protestants. A wee old IRA man once said to me, ‘sure we only destroyed eveytin we built in England sos we cud go back and built it again when were finished building Eire’
So there!
aw aye, St Patrick was kidnapped as a child from Scotland!
well theres `takin the piss` and theres fuckin borderline racist comments like eddiemunsters n euan n co.
but aye fair enough.
stu theres irony in you bein an arsehole.
HuskerDu, No irony in that, but there is irony in you calling someone an arsehole.
So there I was driving down from my new home in BC, Canada to see some relatives in Arizona. St Pat’s day saw us on the lookout for scran somewhere in southern Montana. The small town of Butte was the obvious choice. Guidebook suggested many eateries including several purveyors of the Cornish Pasty(?!). Tidy tucker coming up thinks I, happy days.
But what’s this? (and i mean…) THE WHOLE FUCKING TOON OOT DANCIN’ ON THE STREET!
Green wigs, green beer bottles, green t-shirts — even green fucking STETSONS! And falling over pissed to a man, woman and child at 10.30am!!??
Drove in, windows up, around a block and straight back out again. Postponed nosebag until the next town, Dillon. Which luckily was only another 2 hours drive…
I was struggling to be persuaded that there can be that much Irish blood in the fair city of Butte. But there’s Google and ultimately Amazon to the rescue:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0252061551?tag=connorsgeneal-20&link_code=as3&creativeASIN=0252061551&creative=373489&camp=211189
Boring story. Crazy world.