I was going to make a post about Steamy Windows by Tina Turner, and that baaaaaaaaa-ba-ra bit after she sings “steamy windows”.
There’s nae point.
Cos I was also going to post the following picture of a Tina Turner tribute act I found:
I may as well just skip the attempt at being funny and let yous aw get doon tae business.
Tranny in a binbag.
He/she is saying “pit it in there noo! If it disnae touch the sides ah’ll punch yer cunt in”
would
he/she looks like she’s ready to squeeze a fart oot. there will be a bubble at the arse of her binbag if he’s no’ careful.
Talk about 10 ton of shite in a 5 ton bag!
you cannae beat a bit a brass !
she’s a professional javelin-catcher
I wonder if she does children’s parties…
I’m no aw that fussed, to be honest.
check the size of her Frankie Vaughns, you would feel inadequate with one of those mitts wrapped around yer wee man.
Hey Limmy, Just recently discovered u a cpl of months ago, became a fan very quickly, now ur on our youtube at every party after the dancin, cheers
) shes actually quite good as a tribute act, shudder at the thought of her getting her bubbly jubbly’s out though, anyways looking forward 2 seeing u on sunday the 23rd march, if u know anyone looking 4 a Stripper, gimme a shout!!! xx The Glasvegas Showgirl xx
Just 2 let u know, that Tina Turner woman is also a Stripogram, the reason I know this is bcoz I’ve done a Gig down south with her a cpl of years ago, when I sang backing vocals with a Meatloaf tribute act called “Peatloaf” and she told me she was also a Stripper, as I also do Kisso/Stripograms it came up in the covno, I like 2 give myself a wee plug everywhere I go (u know how it is………..showbiz
http://www.myspace.com/theglasvegasshowgirl
p.s Private Dancer is my personal favourite………………korny or what???
Singing for 4 hours at a pensioners christmas party, you manage to hook up with her, take her home and low and behold…she has ‘disco fanny’!!
no nice.
hahaha disco fanny!
I don’t know about that, she would have a fanny like a badger’s back though!
Limmy, how did you resist the urge to draw a big hairy cock on the picture?
Out of interest, has anyone ever had a wank about Tina Turner? The real one, I mean, no that picture of your maw up there.
Ike died just last week but I see he was even slappin the tribute acts in the coupen as well.
Mad Max beyond ma thunderthighs…….boalk!!!!
http://martidog.wordpress.com/
Well I think she looks quite nice.
Eddiemunster, I think you might be protesting a bit much. I reckon you’re well into that. And let’s face it, who isn’t? I’m off to have a wank to that picture and one of the real Tina, next to each other, pretending it’s some kind of threesome.
Does anyone know a euphemism for wanking and screaming at the same time?
Fletch you’ve captured me! I’ve been rubbing one out to her angry turkish-hooker looks since the picture was posted!
Wanking and screaming? Scranking.
ahahahahhah i just got well caught on the web in work cos i burst out laughin. oh well.
anyways, aye, i would.
also, years ago in motherwell i saw a poster for a meatloaf tribute act with the tagline ‘hes a real dead ringer for loaf’.
and-
cranking=wanking and crying i.e.over a recent ex.
scranking=wanking and crying while lying on your side.
Turkish hookers aren’t angry, they’re passionate.
King Rossco Says:
December 19th, 2007 at 4:20 pm |
Turkish hookers aren’t angry, they’re passionate.
They are particularly passionate when you cum on their tits and then announce you have no money.
What’s love got to do with it?
and her left leg is smaller that her right, she’d walk with a hobble and that’d put me right off. her tits look no bad though…
you don’t look at the mantle piece when you’re poking the fire is what one of the guys in work says to me about his wife, what a mantra to live by.
I bet she stinks of Impulse Merely Musk….and fags.
Yous aw fucking would, ya bunch ah tarts.
shanking – wanking while doing a shite
Simply the beast…
I wonder if she was alone in an empty hoose and she farted……………………………………..would it smell?
lynn, thats also known as ‘icing the log’.
the men come to these places
and the men are all the same
you dont look at their braces
and you dont call them names
“shanking – wanking while doing a shite”
Can’t remember…is that nicknamed a “Cleveland Steamer” or a “Rusty Trumbone”?
Must look that up.
shanking – wanking while doing a shite
Who has ever actually done that?
Rusty trombone, fucking brilliant.
Has anyone ever heard of an even more sinister practice, known as “space-docking”
I won’t tell you what it is now, instead I’ll wait to see if anyone else knows.
eddiemunster Says: “space-docking”
If it is what I think it is, it’s also known as a “Monroe transfer”.
A “rusty trombone” is something else as well.
Ha ha fuckin hilarious this post, only in in a limmy forum could you go from a tina turner impersonator to space docking, haha, what is it anyway, im away for a moonbed
Ever had an eary wank? Midway through flopping the dolphin you suddenly get that feeling a dead relative is watching you.
“C’mon tae fuck Granny!! needs must and that. Gonna bolt!”
Matt I can’t say that I have, but you’ve just planted a seed that could spoil my future wanking career! Cheers for that!
)
space docking- involves a jobby, a freezer and tinfoil
a rusty trombone- blowing up a guys ass while givin him a reacharound
a manhattan transfer- shitin intay some1 elses arse
I swear i have never tried any of these practices.
an eary wank? hahaha brilliant.
ye familiar with a danger wank?
what the fux a moonbed?
eddiemunster, I know what space docking is because I just looked it up in Google. Good old Google.
As long as it wasn’t google images you were looking at Lynn. If so, you need to burn your computer.
Spacedocking is the ancient art of poking someone off with a jobby.
At which stage of the relationship do you broach THAT particular subject I wonder?
Not just any old jobby, eddiemuster, spacedocking is poking someone with your own jobby.
Getting a blow job while having a shit is called a Blumpkin.
Of course Lynn, I mean what sort of a sicko would use someone else’s jobby to poke with!?
A blumpkin! haha I am picking up some quality new patter to confuse my workmates with tomorrow.
“geez a blumpkin wi’ ma tea please Marie”
Brilliant.
Mum???
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo
See you at the show, Showgirl!
Ever had a terror wank?
Frantically rubbing one out while screaming blue murder.
Refreshing so it is…..
a terror wank. quality.
chimping- the frankly unlikely act of shiting in ones hand mid shag and hitting ones partner with it.
This is fuckin hilarious.
I’ve only recently found out what gerbilling is, this is a minefield of knowledge in here
I’ve never heard of a terror wank, but I’ve heard of a fury wank.
Danger Wank is a classic game that I feel everyone should try.
Theres also Shwanking which is beating the meat in the shower. Saves time on the old clean up lol
A Cinncinati Bow Tie. When someone has one of those tracheotomy throat holes and a man puts his junk in it and shags it….
Merry Christmas all!!!
an ‘eary wank’ is also referred to as either a ‘seance wank’ or ‘doris strokes’ – essentially, you are burping the worm while also having the feelings of an ‘other worldly’ experience (like dead relatives watching you etc). i also used to like the ‘crescent wank’ – again, you are rolling your own, but this time kneeling down with your favourite grumble magazines arranged in a semi circle around you. kleenex anyone?
The Tina Turner lookalike has been very inspirational.
Jings, it’s fucking hard typing and wanking at the same time
lol i have kinda similar black dress….
“lol i have kinda similar black dress….”
Get a picture posted! I need some material for ma danger wank.
She looks like she needs a hip replacement no ?
# Wheely Says:
December 22nd, 2007 at 1:25 am |
“lol i have kinda similar black dress….â€
Get a picture posted! I need some material for ma danger wank.
haha only for the one i love :=)
Jaysus – that looks like a pound of mince tied up with string!
I was out this morning driving up the M77 and had the urge to rip one off at 70mph
Craig thats called a speed wank, 0-Sticky in 3.5…..
Pingback: 44d99edfd964
you cannae beat a bit a brass !