Every few years, I get a bit of a schizophrenic, psychotic panic attack. I lose touch with reality for a second, I realise that I just lost touch with reality, and that terrifies me for about another 10 seconds, and then it’s gone.
The first one I can remember (I think there’s only ever been three, now that I think about it, so I’m talking shite about this “every few years” thing, I’m obviously trying to make myself sound more interesting than I really am) was when I was sharing a flat with someone in 1997. Above my room door was a big poster of sunflowers, and I got it into my head one morning that they were evil.
The second time was when I was in Australia last year. I was looking at a leaflet for a zoo, and it had all these pictures of apes and monkeys all over it, all looking at the camera. All looking at me. One of the orangutans had a funny haircut, like he had a fringe and was almost human, and that got the foot in the door for the psychosis. For a second, I had the feeling that the animals in the pictures were aware of me, and that freaked me out. A few seconds later, it passed, and I was laughing about it.
Then I had one last night. Oooh!
I was lying in bed in the dark, trying to get to sleep. Sean Bean popped into my mind, around the same time as I was thinking of something like Guy Fawkes, I can’t remember what exactly. It resulted in me wondering, just for a moment, if Sean Bean was Guy Fawkes.
A second after that, my head was in a panic, because it felt like my grip on reality had just come apart at the seams. I felt like a full blown schizophrenic, and I wondered if Sean Bean was going to be floating around my head for years, telling me to kill people. But I knew that this was one of my rare psychotic episodes, so I just watched my mind cope with it, and a few seconds later it passed.
Anycunt else get anything like that? I’d be especially interested in hearing from people who aren’t insane.
limmy Says:
“It resulted in me wondering, just for a moment, if Sean Bean was Guy Fawkes.”
you need help…
I’m no mental and I’m no kidding but, I’ve had this happen to me occasionally since I was young. The best way I can describe it is that my thoughts all go fast and slow at the same time, it’s quite uncomfortable after a while but it doesn’t last too long.
It’s like everything I think happens at 100mph and in the background theres a slow kindof throbbing. It’s quite disconcerting.
Apart from that I’m OK
I sometimes get things like that, I call it ‘getting a bit mixed up for a second’.
Stevie boy Says:
“It’s like everything I think happens at 100mph and in the background theres a slow kindof throbbing. It’s quite disconcerting.”
Does the throbbing originate from the crotch area ?
If so I get the same the same thing almost constantly…
Could be a tumour …
It usually happens to me when I’m in bed, I wonder if its a strange sleeping/awake mix up thing ?
Sometimes I get something like that in bed, but it’s because you’re dropping off to sleep, so lucid awake thoughts are getting mixed up wi dream logic. So if someone pops into your head you have a wee story going on in your head, even though you’re technically still awake. Any somnographists on here? They’ll have all the fancy jargon.
Limmy, much as I admire your candour (more of which in Limmy’s forthcoming book “My Mammie’s Washing Line”), you do realise that your legions of adoring fans are gonna post all number of mind-numbingly boring copycat psychotic episodes (“It was 1984: the Falklands War, spacehoppers, spangles and I was coming hame fae school..”).
I think it’s most like a tempero-spatial (is that the term?!?) thing with the primates. I’d be more worried about thinking about Sharpe in bed.
i get something similar, except instead of losing my grip on reality, i get this overwhelming sense of everything being wrong with my life. it’s a total punch in the cunt. only lasts about 10 seconds or so, but it’s the bleakest 10 seconds you could possibly imagine. pure bleakness.
i’m awrite though….probably.
[quote comment="59508"]I sometimes get things like that, I call it ‘getting a bit mixed up for a second’.[/quote]
spot on Lynn! Though you really should of played it up more. “I dunno Brian, maybe you’ve got encephalitis or something” cue the paranoid hilarity.
Seriously though Limmy, you need to lay off of the coffee and the all night Sharpe screenings. Get some rest, sort yourself out, maybe get a dog and a relaxing hobby like power walking (walking? Yes walking). I mean I like Sean Bean as much as the next man but enough is enough. You can’t let him wander into your subconscious all la de da as if it’s the set of LotR, all shouty and northern and swinging a sword around. That’s just rude.
Off topic, my girlfriends family are buying a St. Bernard, does anyone know what they’re like? Should I expect to be humped by something the same size as a small grizzly?
I was told a few years ago that I suffer from panic attacks. Fuck knows where they came from or how I ended up getting them…I have nothing really to panic about. It all started in about 2004 when I got a phonecall in the middle of the night (my ringtone was Sean Paul at the time so you can see how I got a fright) to tell me some really bad news n I got into a panic about it obviously.
It was about 3 months later I got my first strange episode…sittin in work when I worked in the lawyers n I just went kinda strange….like I was fainting but things were going round my head at a million miles an hour n the other secretary there seemed like she was putting her face right close to mine….but she was nowhere near me! I freaked out a wee bit but it was over after about 15 seconds.
Happens every couple of months but I know what it is so I just sit n wait for it to go away……and it always does. It’s weird now I just sit obviously freaked out but I know I don’t need to panic n start rippin my shirt off I just wait for my brain to realise nothings happening to me. I feel like a bit of a freak now but honestly I’m no mental :/
[quote comment="59516"]It usually happens to me when I’m in bed, I wonder if its a strange sleeping/awake mix up thing ?[/quote]
[quote comment="59518"]Sometimes I get something like that in bed, but it’s because you’re dropping off to sleep, so lucid awake thoughts are getting mixed up wi dream logic. So if someone pops into your head you have a wee story going on in your head, even though you’re technically still awake. Any somnographists on here? They’ll have all the fancy jargon.[/quote]
Perfect timing, Stevie Boy!
[quote comment="59521"] Should I expect to be humped by something the same size as a small grizzly?[/quote]
Aye, but it’s nothing to do wi a St Bernard’s.
[quote comment="59521"][quote comment="59508"]I sometimes get things like that, I call it ‘getting a bit mixed up for a second’.[/quote]
spot on Lynn! Though you really should of played it up more. “I dunno Brian, maybe you’ve got encephalitis or something” cue the paranoid hilarity.
Seriously though Limmy, you need to lay off of the coffee and the all night Sharpe screenings. Get some rest, sort yourself out, maybe get a dog and a relaxing hobby like power walking (walking? Yes walking). I mean I like Sean Bean as much as the next man but enough is enough. You can’t let him wander into your subconscious all la de da as if it’s the set of LotR, all shouty and northern and swinging a sword around. That’s just rude.
Off topic, my girlfriends family are buying a St. Bernard, does anyone know what they’re like? Should I expect to be humped by something the same size as a small grizzly?[/quote]
They’re awright, i don’t think you’ll get humped but her maw is quite ‘affectionate….’
Yvonne, JesusChrist, Limmy,
ever indulged in the Wacky Backy? Studies are starting to link even mild and infrequent use of cannabis to pyschotic episodes such as you are describing.
I was sitting in the dentist’s once, waiting for ages and ages to get called in for a filling.
Fuck all to do. Fed up with the People’s Friend and Sunday Times Magazine.
So I started staring at the old bird at the desk. The receptionist.
Just staring right a her, without blinking, for fuckin yonks without blinking.
Just staring, nae blinking till my eyes were drying out.
And this big fog appeared all round her head like a big misty fog.
But her face and hair were dead clear, but her whole heid was just floating in this grey fog, just suspended in mid-air in this weird fog.
Bobbin up and doon in the mist, but dead clear.
Wait, this kinda thing isnae what you’re talking aboot is it?
Here Yvonne – i’ve just noticed your birthday is the same day as mine.
i went through a period of slaying prostitutes in the eighties but it doesnt happen that much anymore.
Weird coincidence? But I was watching V for Vendetta, a futuristic take on Guy Fawkes the other night then last night I was watching some weird welsh horror film that had Sean Bean in it…
The film wasn’t that scary for being a horror.
Once its happened to me sitting in my bed one night a few years ago. I was watchin the tele and there was a man singin on it. As he kept singin this song he kept mentioning the word James and I thought co-insidence at the same time shittin maself, then he went into a chorus about me and a started freakin out, after I could get my words out I shouted on my gran to see if a wis dreamin, in pure panic a jumped oot ma bed n ran intae the livin room n there wis a few ae ma family in laughin. provin a wisny dreamin.
Obviously the telen wis changed wae the remote fae the roon the corner.
[quote comment="59532"]Here Yvonne – i’ve just noticed your birthday is the same day as mine.[/quote]
Mon the Scorpios!
[quote comment="59530"]Yvonne, JesusChrist, Limmy,
ever indulged in the Wacky Backy? Studies are starting to link even mild and infrequent use of cannabis to pyschotic episodes such as you are describing.[/quote]
Nope….drugs are for mugs. Well……..maybe when I was at school but that was about 8 years ago.
[quote comment="59534"] last night I was watching some weird welsh horror film that had Sean Bean in it…
The film wasn’t that scary for being a horror.[/quote]
Aye, I’ve seen that too, it’s not very good at all. Think it’s called The Dark. Last night I watched Babel, which I wasn’t sure about because I liked Amores Perros but hated 21 Grams. It’s good though. You get to see a Japanese girl’s fanny in it.
Hi Limmy,
Being a regular reader of someone’s blog probably means that you identify with them which could explain why lots of your readers have had similar experiences (including me).
A few folks have said already that it could be something to do with the state between being fully awake and asleep – I reckon this is spot on as I’ve found my mind getting stuck in “infinite loops” in bed where I’m trying to resolve something unresolvable (like why can’t I stop thinking about Sean Bean). As you know infinite loops in a computer program cause the program to eventually crash, and it’s like you start to panic that you’re going to “crash”. I remember as a teenager I had a prolonged waking experience of this where I couldn’t stop analysing my own thought processes. I tried explaining it to my dad and he was basically like “what the fuck are you talking about”.
Eventually though it’s like your brain breaks out of the loop of it’s own accord. Perhaps there’s a way to reconise this happening before it becomes unpleasant and “reboot”. One too many computer-based analogies there.
Got tickets for your show at the Edinburgh Festival, looking forward to that. I was going to say don’t panic, but I suppose all we’re doing here is reinforcing that your fans are actually something to panic about : ) (just kidding)
[quote comment="59530"]Yvonne, JesusChrist, Limmy,
ever indulged in the Wacky Backy? Studies are starting to link even mild and infrequent use of cannabis to pyschotic episodes such as you are describing.[/quote]
funny you should mention that. i’m just away to get a half q.
Yvonne Says:
“I was told a few years ago that I suffer from panic attacks. Fuck knows where they came from or how I ended up getting them…I have nothing really to panic about. It all started in about 2004 when I got a phonecall in the middle of the night (my ringtone was Sean Paul at the time so you can see how I got a fright) to tell me some really bad news n I got into a panic about it obviously.
It was about 3 months later I got my first strange episode…sittin in work when I worked in the lawyers n I just went kinda strange….like I was fainting but things were going round my head at a million miles an hour n the other secretary there seemed like she was putting her face right close to mine….but she was nowhere near me! I freaked out a wee bit but it was over after about 15 seconds.
Happens every couple of months but I know what it is so I just sit n wait for it to go away……and it always does. It’s weird now I just sit obviously freaked out but I know I don’t need to panic n start rippin my shirt off I just wait for my brain to realise nothings happening to me. I feel like a bit of a freak now but honestly I’m no mental :/ ”
do you want a hug ?
No such thing as reality as everthing is transient therfore you lost your grip on nothing because there is nothing to grip in the first place, stop trying to hold on
Can’t say I do old chum, come-downs yes, but not full blown mental breakdown, no, not me…
the brain’s like a computer – you probably just crashed or needed to crash and re-boot – or some shit.
Too many Es.
[quote comment="59543"]Yvonne Says:
“I was told a few years ago that I suffer from panic attacks. Fuck knows where they came from or how I ended up getting them…I have nothing really to panic about. It all started in about 2004 when I got a phonecall in the middle of the night (my ringtone was Sean Paul at the time so you can see how I got a fright) to tell me some really bad news n I got into a panic about it obviously.
It was about 3 months later I got my first strange episode…sittin in work when I worked in the lawyers n I just went kinda strange….like I was fainting but things were going round my head at a million miles an hour n the other secretary there seemed like she was putting her face right close to mine….but she was nowhere near me! I freaked out a wee bit but it was over after about 15 seconds.
Happens every couple of months but I know what it is so I just sit n wait for it to go away……and it always does. It’s weird now I just sit obviously freaked out but I know I don’t need to panic n start rippin my shirt off I just wait for my brain to realise nothings happening to me. I feel like a bit of a freak now but honestly I’m no mental :/ ”
do you want a hug ?[/quote]
As long as you dont send me into another panic by engulfing my tiny frame with your man chest.
[quote comment="59542"][quote comment="59530"]Yvonne, JesusChrist, Limmy,
ever indulged in the Wacky Backy? Studies are starting to link even mild and infrequent use of cannabis to pyschotic episodes such as you are describing.[/quote]
funny you should mention that. i’m just away to get a half q.[/quote]
But if you can turn water into wine, why can’t you turn baccy into blaw?
Why are people so keen on attributing this to being in a half-sleep state? I’m assuming Limmy didn’t go to the zoo for an afternoon nap with his Ozzie ape friends.
The first episode where I freaked out was when I was 16 and had just had a bong. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on at the time and thought I was hitting an almighty whitey. Turns out I was just freaking out like the stoned bee-atch I was. I’ve had a few similar non-drug-induced moments since, but now I realise that it’s always going to be alright in a few seconds or minutes and it’s always been caused by overthinking things when I’m by myself.
So I offer 2 solutions, stop thinking or get more friends.
Actually, there was another time that wasn’t caused by overthinking but was induced by just a wee bit of LSD and MDMA. I stopped this episode by reminding myself I was supposed to be having a good time then looking round the room and seeing that a few of my friends were in a much worse state.
So my 3rd solution is: it always helps to laugh at other people in a worse predicament than yourself. Did you stop doing this last night?
The worst thing is nightmares. I had a night mare this night about my ex; and then i woke up by a phone call.,.. really scary.. but it was my lawyer; thank fuck.. every thing is okey now. Still fights there……
Limmy the only thing i remeber from my past about your theme loosing control was when i was a teeny lass; i was afraid going to the stores; felt like the boxes and items might fall over me.. but then i realized it only was things that mostly happened on the telly in films ect..so i cooped with it and things went good.But i had to pressure myself going to malls and supermarkeds for a long time.And now I love to go to the malls; travel alone and stuff.. nothing has happened to me.That was mine wee “witness”.
A great way of loosing control is this;
http://www.europapark.de/page,1340,en,Attractions.html#
Check out the activity “mir” and the view360 …. its just one word for it; loosing totally control and thats just lovely:)
I have a recurring waking nightmare/dream when I’m nodding off too quick and my body keeps me awake and my mind goes to sleep.
It happens on planes and trains and things, always while I’m in motion, on some sort of transport, had it on a cruise once.
I basically end up feeling like I’m encased in a solid rather than moving through a gaseous atmosphere and then it begins…
There’s a throbbing noise and a cylinder appears horizontally, in front of me, moving away from me and turning.
I have to try navigate across it.
The sound gets louder.
I can see in the distance even though I’m encased in a solid and in the distance there are shapes that become what I need them to be and they are a comfort.
But then it takes me, the sound and it builds into a roaring everything.
Shape sound and vision become the same thing, and I’m awake.
I have my eyes open and can’t control it.
Then people look at me, more than likely just casual glances. But to me it’s more like they’re watching and waiting for me to fall from the cylinder…
And then everything snaps back to normal.
I’m normally sweating by then, and the feeling of paranoia wont stop, but the sound is gone, I’m back in reality.
On more than one occasion I’ve had to vacate a carriage or even get off a bus miles before my stop…
Happens maybe once every 2 or 3 years… has happened since I was a child…
Madness!
I have night terrors, I’ve had them for years. They’re really scary. Terrifying, in fact.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terrors
I also hallucinate when I’m ill, I’ve done that since I was wee. When I was in hospital with a kidney infection three years ago I hallucinated a vampire hovering above my bed. That lasted from 2am to 6am.
PS Just to clarify, I don’t have the ‘many social and interpersonal problems’ that night terrors sufferers have, according to Wikipedia.
i once got it into my head that i had to do 100 back flips and land on the toilet seat upstairs. or i would die.
i was ill at the time right enough, but it was freaky as fuck.
i get this weird thing when i’m between asleep and awake where my brain is fully conscious but my body is completely asleep and i can’t move. not even a blink, or a wiggle of a toe. it’s pretty scary. it takes ages and ages to get your eyes to open. despite the fact you’re trying with all your will power, your body just doesn’t respond. anyone else had that?
BigFatJim, could you do something for me? Gonnae use the “Quote” button? Do it. Do it for all of us.
[quote comment="59574"]i get this weird thing when i’m between asleep and awake where my brain is fully conscious but my body is completely asleep and i can’t move. not even a blink, or a wiggle of a toe. it’s pretty scary. it takes ages and ages to get your eyes to open. despite the fact you’re trying with all your will power, your body just doesn’t respond. anyone else had that?[/quote]
Christopher Reeve……?
A few of those sound like Hynpogogic hallucinations – where part of your brain is falling asleep and part is awake. Pretty normal as far as I know, but sounds terrifying. Responsible for many ghost/alien stories, etc.
i have an out of body experience most nights but that is down to internet porn. just a suggestion, but have you tried remote viewing? saves loads on travel …
Are “normal” people tryin’ to confess madness here? you should see how far you could take this idea limmy, like maybe askin if anyone shat themsels recently… we all get cought short fae time tae time, and back to the matter at hand. they say the gifted are equally cursed and blessed, no more is this true than in yours truely! well in present company atleast, but as a true master of disaster i shant be comparing notes today, but i will leave you with a lonseome thought,
It was pouring, mecca bingo was in exodus, the windows on the number 9 bus were fogged over, I could see silhouettes, appearing identical even regimented, I hastily turned and ran the gauntlet of the empty streets, windy mire, endless tire, only way i could describe my grey matter is that of a washing machine, turning over and over itself, i could have been in vietnam with fear like this, home, and william H macy was staring back at me in the reflection, sweet dreams. the landing from the jump only hurt for a second.
I used to get sleep paralysis all the time. I mean almost every night up to ten times a night.
The hallucinations would vary from just having a horrible feeling of an evil presence in the room to actually bein able to see about half a dozen rastafarians sitting round my bed. But seeing every detail of them even piercings, hair styles, clothes etc. People i’ve never seen before.
You know exactly what it is that’s happening after a while of having it but it’s impossible to get rid of the intense fear.
Once i woke up having a sort of fit in bed, shaking and bouncing all over the place for about five seconds after waking. That was scary.
The weirdest one though was ‘dreaming’ that i was levetating where i was asleep and waking up and as i awoke i could hear the bed springs as if i had just fell back down on them.
It got to the point where i actually feared falling asleep.
As soon as i stopped battering ching and eccies every weekend all of this went away.
Thank Fuck.
i know about this, it can happen in two different ways, first is the way you were describing limmy, your sense of reality becomes a bit distorted, and the other thing that happens is your visual perspective can be warped for a second, thing across the room seem close, things that are close seem far away.
i cant remember the name of it, but its caused by dehydration usually.
if im out in a club, had a few drinks i get a random word / sentence in my head that just repeats, repeats, repeats…over and over. i have to stop myself mouthin it out loud.
side note: anyone else see electric scarecrow tonight helpin the coppers protect central stations main entrance? and who was the bigwig that caused my train to be late this morning? jags, coppers and cordens up all round platform 11.
[quote comment="59576"]BigFatJim, could you do something for me? Gonnae use the “Quote” button? Do it. Do it for all of us.[/quote]
I was just away to say that! Honestly!
Nope.
But I like the sound of it.
when i was about 13 or something, i remember lying in my bed awakened from a dream or something all confused and thinking the world was going to end during the course of the day, i was in tears and went downstairs to get a drunk, went back to bed all shook up n then fell asleep again, i woke up fine.
[quote comment="59589"]I used to get sleep paralysis all the time. I mean almost every night up to ten times a night.
The hallucinations would vary from just having a horrible feeling of an evil presence in the room to actually bein able to see about half a dozen rastafarians sitting round my bed. But seeing every detail of them even piercings, hair styles, clothes etc. People i’ve never seen before.
You know exactly what it is that’s happening after a while of having it but it’s impossible to get rid of the intense fear.
Once i woke up having a sort of fit in bed, shaking and bouncing all over the place for about five seconds after waking. That was scary.
The weirdest one though was ‘dreaming’ that i was levetating where i was asleep and waking up and as i awoke i could hear the bed springs as if i had just fell back down on them.
It got to the point where i actually feared falling asleep.
As soon as i stopped battering ching and eccies every weekend all of this went away.
Thank Fuck.[/quote]
This is just like what I get. I don’t take any drugs though, so why does it happen to me, why? Are my brains all wrong?
Negative,
Tho I did lose it for a wee second the other day whilst doing a presentation. This bloke’s always late and so predictably he walks in late again. I turn round, the audience in the palm of ma hand, and say – “See folks? A leopard never changes his cupboards! Ha Ha…”. Eh?? A low profile has been maintained since..
were u into acid in your youth, limmy?
acid flashbacks aint urban myths. not that im talkin from experience, im only 26. but a few of my elder mates are known to get the sudden fear now and again and thats what they put it down to.
on the subject of recurring nightmares/fever dreams, i used to get one where i was in the movie Tron, stuck in one of the bike things that have the neon wall flowing out the back. after what seemed like hours stuck in the high speed 90 degree cornering bastard machines i would crash into another wall and i would awake drenched in sweat and filled with terror.
Belter, i think you’ve just made me whitey..
I had something like that this very morning. I woke up after a dream where everything was slightly different. I was glad to be awake since everything would be the same as before, only it wasn’t: I quickly realised however that I have living in Paris for 10 months now, and indeed everything is just that wee bit different to Scotland! The horror!
I don’t really get the random schizo attack, but see when someone wakes me up from a deep sleep where i’m dreaming, i’ll spend about fiveminutes talking absolute jibberish. N
ot only that but i can get worked up into such a state of panic and disillusion, that it often manifests itself in anger. Usually because noone knows what the fuck i’m talking about.
Brian
Someone else above mentioned cannabis.
He is correct and that’s what’s wrong with you.
If you haven’t taken the substance directly perhaps you accidentally inhaled it passively whilst vacationing in the East?
A differential diagnosis may be that you should more frequently masturbate.
Big sensible Jim
[quote comment="59589"]I used to get sleep paralysis all the time. I mean almost every night up to ten times a night.
The hallucinations would vary from just having a horrible feeling of an evil presence in the room to actually bein able to see about half a dozen rastafarians sitting round my bed. But seeing every detail of them even piercings, hair styles, clothes etc. People i’ve never seen before.
You know exactly what it is that’s happening after a while of having it but it’s impossible to get rid of the intense fear.
Once i woke up having a sort of fit in bed, shaking and bouncing all over the place for about five seconds after waking. That was scary.
The weirdest one though was ‘dreaming’ that i was levetating where i was asleep and waking up and as i awoke i could hear the bed springs as if i had just fell back down on them.
It got to the point where i actually feared falling asleep.
As soon as i stopped battering ching and eccies every weekend all of this went away.
Thank Fuck.[/quote]
Ffs…..that sounds all kinds of scary.
See I’m glad you did this post limmy I feel a bit more ‘normal’ now that other folk get similar things.
[quote comment="59616"]I had something like that this very morning. I woke up after a dream where everything was slightly different. I was glad to be awake since everything would be the same as before, only it wasn’t: I quickly realised however that I have living in Paris for 10 months now, and indeed everything is just that wee bit different to Scotland! The horror![/quote]
You’ve been reading too many Viz letters Jimmy.
Aye a get wee panic attacks every now n again, got 1 last night infact wen a was in bed. its weird… if like i sit for 2 mins n actually think about it happenin, i can make it happen n i start panicing lol. im a fucking weirdo thats why, an evil spirit, kill them, kill them all!! ill help ye ya… kill them all man!! ..
This is the only blog-site thing i’ve ever been arsed to reply to.
But now, as that Duncan Bannatyne character would say ” Ah’m oooouut!”
However.
The “big fat Jim’ character has bored me into submission.
BigFatJim………
How does it feel to be witless?
Whenever I close my eyes for a while I seem to lose consciousness and I get all these weird visions and sounds. The elements are familiar – people I’ve known, places I’ve been and so on, but it’s all muddled up like it has no logic. It all seems so real but it can’t be because then I regain consciousness again. It is light now, eight hours have passed and my dick is hard. Then I have some breakfast.
I had this Jolly Roger flag…fuckin huge it was…up on my wall for a good while. Then I had a period of a few months where I’d wake up in the middle of the night and it’d be somebody different each time, talking to me or coming out of the flag towards me.
On night it was the grim reaper himself and I nearly shat a fucking house.
Fuckin mental it was.
I’m getting sleep paralysis these days frae years of pill popping and insomnia…you know when your body falls asleep before your brain does and you stop breathing for a bit then hit a heavy panic – it’s rubbish I’m sure plenty folk on here has had it before
[quote comment="59619"]I don’t really get the random schizo attack, but see when someone wakes me up from a deep sleep where i’m dreaming, i’ll spend about fiveminutes talking absolute jibberish. N
ot only that but i can get worked up into such a state of panic and disillusion, that it often manifests itself in anger. Usually because noone knows what the fuck i’m talking about.[/quote]
That’s happnened to me! I kinda wake up from a dream when I’m in bed with my significant other n I don’t realise I’m not really dreaming anymore n start talking about whats happening in the dream. A few years ago I was dreaming that I was in a hairdressing competition i.e in a competition where I cut some someones hair into the best style. I sort of woke up n started talkin bout it to my bf n he was like wat you on about. I got dead angry cos he didn’t know wat I was meaning n saying things like ‘don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talkin about, you just want me to lose the competition!’
Madness…….n I remembered it a wee bit in the morning and had to make an apology in the shape of a roll n bacon and a cup of tea.
[quote comment="59593"][quote comment="59576"]BigFatJim, could you do something for me? Gonnae use the “Quote” button? Do it. Do it for all of us.[/quote]
I was just away to say that! Honestly![/quote]
There you go, BigFatJim, a clear mandate.
That was me, by the way. I changed my name so Leona would give me 50p.
[quote comment="59634"]The “big fat Jim’ character has bored me into submission.
BigFatJim………
How does it feel to be witless?[/quote]
Mate, your patter’s been awright as far as I know, but that’s uncalled for. This is a daft comedy site, and he’s said nothing shite to you as far I remember, so if you don’t like his patter just skim over it. There’s no need to embarrass anyone for no reason on a forum like this.
[quote comment="59520"]i get something similar, except instead of losing my grip on reality, i get this overwhelming sense of everything being wrong with my life. it’s a total punch in the cunt. only lasts about 10 seconds or so, but it’s the bleakest 10 seconds you could possibly imagine. pure bleakness.
i’m awrite though….probably.[/quote]
I wasn’t aware that our saviour had such a potty mouth. D:
[quote comment="59670"][quote comment="59634"]The “big fat Jim’ character has bored me into submission.
BigFatJim………
How does it feel to be witless?[/quote]
Mate, your patter’s been awright as far as I know, but that’s uncalled for. This is a daft comedy site, and he’s said nothing shite to you as far I remember, so if you don’t like his patter just skim over it. There’s no need to embarrass anyone for no reason on a forum like this.[/quote]
I second that.
[quote comment="59572"]I have night terrors, I’ve had them for years. They’re really scary. Terrifying, in fact.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terrors
I also hallucinate when I’m ill, I’ve done that since I was wee. When I was in hospital with a kidney infection three years ago I hallucinated a vampire hovering above my bed. That lasted from 2am to 6am.
PS Just to clarify, I don’t have the ‘many social and interpersonal problems’ that night terrors sufferers have, according to Wikipedia.[/quote]Leona. I think you may have been suffering from sleep paralysis that night.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
[quote comment="59670"][quote comment="59634"]The “big fat Jim’ character has bored me into submission.
BigFatJim………
How does it feel to be witless?[/quote]
Mate, your patter’s been awright as far as I know, but that’s uncalled for. This is a daft comedy site, and he’s said nothing shite to you as far I remember, so if you don’t like his patter just skim over it. There’s no need to embarrass anyone for no reason on a forum like this.[/quote]
I think I’m freakin out right now. I’m definitely seeing things.
Did King Rossco just stick up for BigFatJim?
BigFatJim, looks like King Rossco loves you after all. If it doesn’t work out with Yvonne, then you’ve always got King Rossco to hold you at night.
[quote comment="59665"]That was me, by the way. I changed my name so Leona would give me 50p.[/quote]
Ha! No chance! I tell lies. Hahaha!
[quote comment="59670"][quote comment="59634"]The “big fat Jim’ character has bored me into submission.
BigFatJim………
How does it feel to be witless?[/quote]
Mate, your patter’s been awright as far as I know, but that’s uncalled for. This is a daft comedy site, and he’s said nothing shite to you as far I remember, so if you don’t like his patter just skim over it. There’s no need to embarrass anyone for no reason on a forum like this.[/quote]
Excuse me, when were you promoted to moderator?
BigFatJim, were you embarrassed by barneys post? I would like to suggest that King Rossco’s attempt at defending you was a little more embarrassing…
But what the most weirdest is Limmy is the dejavu ppl can get. I have experienced it much; as eg. this has happened before and fuck all..Like i have dreamed about things or that and then it happens on a later area.. fook… the first i time remeber was that i was at a place as kid and i knew every detail in the room.. and exactly it was as the same as i experienced b4…… that has now happened many times …
wonder what next dejavu will be…
( Off topic; I`m off to watch Die Hard 4…..)
[quote comment="59690"]Excuse me, when were you promoted to moderator?
BigFatJim, were you embarrassed by barneys post? I would like to suggest that King Rossco’s attempt at defending you was a little more embarrassing…[/quote]
Naw, excuse me. Aye, BigFatJim’s an “internet pal” of mine, so I stuck up for him the same way I do my real-life pals; and I fucking hate folk who slag off other folk’s sense of humour, especially when we’re aw writing nonsense on here most of the time anyway.
So is barney-bashing-BigFatJim going to turn into lynn-bashing-Ross? And since when is telling someone to gie-it-a-rest acting like a moderator?
[quote comment="59690"][quote comment="59670"][quote comment="59634"]The “big fat Jim’ character has bored me into submission.
BigFatJim………
How does it feel to be witless?[/quote]
Mate, your patter’s been awright as far as I know, but that’s uncalled for. This is a daft comedy site, and he’s said nothing shite to you as far I remember, so if you don’t like his patter just skim over it. There’s no need to embarrass anyone for no reason on a forum like this.[/quote]
Excuse me, when were you promoted to moderator?
BigFatJim, were you embarrassed by barneys post? I would like to suggest that King Rossco’s attempt at defending you was a little more embarrassing…[/quote]
To quote Limmy’s ‘American Werewolf in London’ sketch.
That’s enoughhh……..THAT’S ENOUGHHHHH
[quote comment="59702"][quote comment="59690"]Excuse me, when were you promoted to moderator?
BigFatJim, were you embarrassed by barneys post? I would like to suggest that King Rossco’s attempt at defending you was a little more embarrassing…[/quote]
Naw, excuse me. Aye, BigFatJim’s an “internet pal” of mine, so I stuck up for him the same way I do my real-life pals; and I fucking hate folk who slag off other folk’s sense of humour, especially when we’re aw writing nonsense on here most of the time anyway.
So is barney-bashing-BigFatJim going to turn into lynn-bashing-Ross? And since when is telling someone to gie-it-a-rest acting like a moderator?[/quote]
barney gave BigFatJim a very mild slagging which was quite amusing and you were all ‘how… dare… you’. This is a daft comedy site, lighten up.
[quote comment="59706"]This is a daft comedy site, lighten up.[/quote]
Hang on, who fucking made you… Oh…
I see what you did there.
coat tails ppl coat tails
I’d like to hear BigFatJim’s view on this debacle
[quote comment="59672"][quote comment="59520"]i get something similar, except instead of losing my grip on reality, i get this overwhelming sense of everything being wrong with my life. it’s a total punch in the cunt. only lasts about 10 seconds or so, but it’s the bleakest 10 seconds you could possibly imagine. pure bleakness.
i’m awrite though….probably.[/quote]
I wasn’t aware that our saviour had such a potty mouth. D:[/quote]
you should hear my dad. he’s a right vulgar prick.
When barney said he was bored into submission, who did he submit to? Did he do this in a three-taps-on-the-canvas wrestling style or was he submissive sexually?
I think I know which one provoked the jealously pointed King Rossco outburst. It’s nice to see such pure-love blossoming on the internet.
Once again Limmy, if all fails at the fringe (which I’m sure it won’t), you can always turn this into a comedy dating website. It’s more than half way there already.
See once a forum gets all matey with “Internet Pals”? It’s fucked. Fucked ah tells ye.
[quote comment="59714"]I’d like to hear BigFatJim’s view on this debacle[/quote]
Me too, where is the BFG, I mean BFJ?
Jeezo man.
Sometimes ye seriously consider stoppin bein a right cheeky cunt.
[quote comment="59506"]I’m no mental and I’m no kidding but, I’ve had this happen to me occasionally since I was young. The best way I can describe it is that my thoughts all go fast and slow at the same time, it’s quite uncomfortable after a while but it doesn’t last too long.
It’s like everything I think happens at 100mph and in the background theres a slow kindof throbbing. It’s quite disconcerting.
Apart from that I’m OK[/quote]It reminds me of the guy from Dead Man’s Shoes/Big Brother.
[quote comment="59725"]See once a forum gets all matey with “Internet Pals”? It’s fucked. Fucked ah tells ye.[/quote]
Quite right, next stop Adsense ads down the side.
[quote comment="59733"]Jeezo man.
Sometimes ye seriously consider stoppin bein a right cheeky cunt.[/quote]
barney… never change.
“Off topic” I believe they call it.
Check Leona’s thing.
Funny.
Aye i’m no mental but have had somethin’ similar happen in the past. A lot of the time it has to do with lack of sleep, but the odd daydream can trigger it off.
One time I was lying next to my girlfriend whom I was happily going out with now for about 5 months, when after a while I began to become really convinced she was out to ‘get’ me, in a kind of secret agent/russian spy kind of way. Anyway, I freaked it and ran into the bathroom and locked the door.
Aye so nothin to worry about (apart from aw the consequential rapin’ and that)
I used to get this all the time as a kid. Used to happen when I was going to sleep. Wierdly I remembered watching a film when I was about 7 that had a gang of boys torturing another boy as a ritual of joining their gang. They went too far and he died. I had the ‘buzz’ for about 5 years nearly nightly until I remembered that film. Then they stopped.
Every so often I get a ‘buzzy’ sound/feeling, usually when zoning out looking at something and I can feel it – I try to snap myself out of it.
But apart from that I am not insane. My mum says I’m lovely.
Iain Shaw Said;
“See once a forum gets all matey with “Internet Palsâ€? It’s fucked. Fucked ah tells ye.”
Well said pal!
Oh, the irony…
So… What were we talking about again?
hiya folks,
I did post a 2 page mutliple reply this morning but it seems to have vanished
so in summary
Yvonne, King Rossco – thanks for backing me up
lynn – no not embarassed at all. barney just showed the world what a petty little wank he truly is
Yvonne, Leona – sorry for the delay was at Henly Regatta yesterday so was ”offline”
barney –
a) as if I give a fuck for your opinion
b) as if I’m really am here to entertain you
c) you are a cunt
that’s all for now folks
usual service will resume tomorrow when I’m back in the office
toodles !
[quote comment="59717"][quote comment="59672"][quote comment="59520"]i get something similar, except instead of losing my grip on reality, i get this overwhelming sense of everything being wrong with my life. it’s a total punch in the cunt. only lasts about 10 seconds or so, but it’s the bleakest 10 seconds you could possibly imagine. pure bleakness.
i’m awrite though….probably.[/quote]
I wasn’t aware that our saviour had such a potty mouth. D:[/quote]
you should hear my dad. he’s a right vulgar prick.[/quote]
I know a bit about your dad actually… I’ve heard from some people he’s a right nasty character… Bit into the old S&M too if my sources are to be believed.
Don’t worry..its just the aftermath of the acid.
pills
Limmy said:
“I’d be especially interested in hearing from people who aren’t insane. ”
Hahahaha nae such joy.
Really though, what were yae hoping for???
[quote comment="59823"]hiya folks,
I did post a 2 page mutliple reply this morning but it seems to have vanished
so in summary
Yvonne, King Rossco – thanks for backing me up
lynn – no not embarassed at all. barney just showed the world what a petty little wank he truly is
Yvonne, Leona – sorry for the delay was at Henly Regatta yesterday so was ”offline”
barney -
a) as if I give a fuck for your opinion
b) as if I’m really am here to entertain you
c) you are a cunt
that’s all for now folks
usual service will resume tomorrow when I’m back in the office
toodles ![/quote]
Oh big fat Jim if you weren’t big and fat I think I’d love you.
Yip.
Witless.
Yer English is shockin and i bet yer no even fat.
(HenlEy)
[quote comment="59753"]Aye i’m no mental but have had somethin’ similar happen in the past. A lot of the time it has to do with lack of sleep, but the odd daydream can trigger it off.[/quote]
Lack of sleep plays a big part. Have similar episodes all the time when coming off night shifts, like last weekend. Often find myself laughing at something then can’t remember what it was.
a)
b)
c)
How the fuck d’ye get them tae line up Jim? Never mind in the right order!
a)
c)
b)
Nut. I’m cunted here.
b)
c)
a)
Fuck sake man.
b)
z)
W)
Fuck me.
d)
C)
h)
Nut.
Fuckin hell man.
LYNN!
help.
c)
u)
n)
t)
Nut. Ah gie up.
Think i’ll phone BigSkinnyJim for a haun.
H)
z)
Fuckin hell man.
a)
b)
c)
How the fuck do you dae that jim?
a)
b)
c)
Nut. Fuckin hell man.
a)
b)
c)
Fuck me.
c)
u)
n)
t)
Jeezo man.
Think I’ll need tae phone BigSkinnyJim.
A)
Z)
b)
Nut.
Fucksake man.
LYNN! help.
z)
G)
B)
Aw fuck this.
And again………………………
a)
[quote comment="59823"]. barney just showed the world what a petty little wank he truly is
barney -
a) as if I give a fuck for your opinion
b) as if I’m really am here to entertain you
c) you are a cunt
[/quote]
I’ve got a total beamer for you by the way!
Wby does everybody have to be a victim nowadays?
[quote comment="59920"][quote comment="59823"]hiya folks,
I did post a 2 page mutliple reply this morning but it seems to have vanished
so in summary
Yvonne, King Rossco – thanks for backing me up
lynn – no not embarassed at all. barney just showed the world what a petty little wank he truly is
Yvonne, Leona – sorry for the delay was at Henly Regatta yesterday so was ”offline”
barney -
a) as if I give a fuck for your opinion
b) as if I’m really am here to entertain you
c) you are a cunt
that’s all for now folks
usual service will resume tomorrow when I’m back in the office
toodles ![/quote]
Oh big fat Jim if you weren’t big and fat I think I’d love you.[/quote]
don’t bubble, I’ve been hurt before…
[quote comment="59926"]Yip.
Witless.
Yer English is shockin and i bet yer no even fat.
(HenlEy)[/quote]
oh cut to the core again by your rapier like wit…
I remember I totally lost it ……. next week.
103 comments…..ffs – we all go a little mad sometimes (Norman Bates – Psycho)
oh and thanks for pulling me up on my bad spelling barney, much appreciated
I might now switch of spell checker in Word and just forward all my documents to your good self for proof reading…
Ed -Hi Limmy,
Being a regular reader of someone’s blog probably means that you identify with them which could explain why lots of your readers have had similar experiences (including me).
A few folks have said already that it could be something to do with the state between being fully awake and asleep – I reckon this is spot on as I’ve found my mind getting stuck in “infinite loops†in bed where I’m trying to resolve something unresolvable (like why can’t I stop thinking about Sean Bean). As you know infinite loops in a computer program cause the program to eventually crash, and it’s like you start to panic that you’re going to “crashâ€. I remember as a teenager I had a prolonged waking experience of this where I couldn’t stop analysing my own thought processes. I tried explaining it to my dad and he was basically like “what the fuck are you talking aboutâ€.
Eventually though it’s like your brain breaks out of the loop of it’s own accord. Perhaps there’s a way to reconise this happening before it becomes unpleasant and “rebootâ€. One too many computer-based analogies there.
Got tickets for your show at the Edinburgh Festival, looking forward to that. I was going to say don’t panic, but I suppose all we’re doing here is reinforcing that your fans are actually something to panic about : ) (just kidding)
ED! Are you Ed Ed? Thee Ed. the one i’m going to see Limmy with on the 12th? See you in an hour or so. Btw i’m so sorry to hear about your psychosis.
Limmy – I recommend a drug called Risperidone for you. ask your GP or CPN. ; )
Square go… Square go everycunt!
Pocketrocket, I prefer olanzapine myself. It’s tasty good.
That just comes from having an artistic(NOT Austistic :->) mind yah bam, your bloody normal(In an abnormal world) so live with it, it you had no sudden randomness in your brain then you would become an accountant!!!!!DOOM DAH DOOM DOOM!!
“Great wits are sure to madness near allied, and thin partitions do their bounds divide.” John Dryden.
In other words, yer a loon, but yer a genius loon.
Love the site, Limmy. I got a job once because my employers mistook your site for mine. No kidding!
theomack – you’re the first cunt to reply to the , albeit miniscule, comments i’ve made on the page. I’ll have to have a wee lick of the olanzapine next time i’m hovering aroung the drug trolly.
And Ed – you’re not thee Ed. in fact i don’t know who the fuck you are, but why are you masqerading as my mate? even Thee Ed thought he was reading himself for a minute! what date you going to see the Limmster? we’re going on te 12th. i wonder if you look like Thee Ed?
Totally man, you’d be surprised at how many people get shit like this Limmy,
you’ve pretty much described it to a tee man. my explanation would be that its like a “thought on thought” where you stop and analyse whats just went through yer head and pretty much shit it. its just nonsense, and a feeling of insecurity dude.
people who are seriously off their nut think they’re sane, you having the panic attack due to fear of losing yer nut proves you still know right form wrong and you are in fact sane, just a we bit faered. the panic attack its self is like a reassurance you dont have to panic (?!)
its all shit really. just like my way of explainin things…
[quote comment="60648"]Totally man, you’d be surprised at how many people get shit like this Limmy,
you’ve pretty much described it to a tee man. my explanation would be that its like a “thought on thought” where you stop and analyse whats just went through yer head and pretty much shit it. its just nonsense, and a feeling of insecurity dude.
people who are seriously off their nut think they’re sane, you having the panic attack due to fear of losing yer nut proves you still know right form wrong and you are in fact sane, just a we bit faered. the panic attack its self is like a reassurance you dont have to panic (?!)
its all shit really. just like my way of explainin things…[/quote]
Thought I was experiencing a “Fight Club” moment there for a little while, till I spotted the missing ‘h’ …
[quote comment="59646"]I’m getting sleep paralysis these days frae years of pill popping and insomnia…you know when your body falls asleep before your brain does and you stop breathing for a bit then hit a heavy panic – it’s rubbish I’m sure plenty folk on here has had it before[/quote]
It comes fae pill popping? I’ve never had any, but do get that from time to time.
Stevie boy Says:
“It’s like everything I think happens at 100mph and in the background theres a slow kindof throbbing. It’s quite disconcerting.”
Does the throbbing originate from the crotch area ?
If so I get the same the same thing almost constantly…
That is called Sleep Paralysis and I have had it since I was a kid. It is VERY VERY scary and nobody knows what causes it or how to make it go away. It often runs in families, my dad gets it regularly too. You should ask your family if they get it too.