Cannae wait till themorra night. The night of percentages.
Last week, almost every contestant on X Factor said they were going to give it 110%. I think I heard Simon say someone gave it 110% anaw. Robert said a few weeks ago that he was “going to give it 150-200%”, and last week he said he was “going to perform to 200% of my abilities”. Then he got booted.
I switched over to Strictly Come Dancing during the break, and nearly fell off my seat when Carol Smillie said that she was going to give it “100%”.
Is that all? What an attitude!
Then there’s I’m a Celebrity. I don’t watch it much, but I’m sure if I give it 5 minutes I’ll hear a few 110%’s getting rattled out when it comes to the Bushtucker Trials.
Ah cannae wait. Bit of paper, pen, calculator, and Ladbrokes on the speed dial.
As a noble scientist I’m always raging when I hear that “give it 120%” pish. Now, you can get 120% of something (like a wage increase if you’re a Daily-Record-letters-page-baiting fat-cat businessman, for example), but these cunts might as well be saying “a gazillion %”: it means fuck all. Know what REALLY gets my goat, though? When folk say “almost infinite”. Either it’s infinite or it’s not.
When you’re wee, you try and beat your pals with stuff like “I’m going to get a MILLION sweets!” then he says “I’m going to get TEN million” then you go “I’ll get a HUNDRED million!” and this goes on until one of uses the word “infinity” and it’s all over.
So what is it with the percentages game? Why doesn’t someone say they’re going to give 1,000,000% percent? It’s as impossible as 110% so why not, eh?
Eh?
King Rossco, I share the same view. We scientists are a crazy breed. I take it that like me, you break the scientific mould and you are a good looking rebel that plays by your own rules?
By the way what did you study or as they say in University fucking challenge… what did you read?
“When folk say “almost infiniteâ€. Either it’s infinite or it’s not.”
– That’s right King Rosco. That’s right.
It’s as bad “quite unique”
Something is either unique or it is not.
I love when folk say “I’ll give it 110%”. Why add 10%? Its just a arbitrary number more than 100%.
Not forgetting the old chestnut, that you can only give 100% by definition.
They only use 10% of their brain anyway.
T.J. Hooker Says:
>you break the scientific mould and you are a good looking rebel that plays by your own rules?
That’s right!
>what did you read?
Applied physics, then PhD in photochemistry at Strathclyde. Worked on nanoparticles in France now I’m in Ireland. Want to come back to Scotland, but there’s fuck all science jobs. What about you?
A-D Says:
> It’s as bad “quite uniqueâ€
Fuuuck, I hate that one too. I hate it 143.27% more than the “infinity” thing.
Say 100% is the amount of effort required to save your life in a X Factor Death Match Special. I’d say they’re giving no more than 43%.
mp Says: “…trust wikipedia on a ‘fact’ as arbitrary as that one.” fae the (Red) post.
Del Says: “…I love when folk say “I’ll give it 110%â€. Why add 10%? Its just a arbitrary number more than 100%.”
I love it when folk cotton on to a smart sounding word and start using it. Honestly but, is this one of these it’s cool to use words that have passed me by – like “kewl” and fucking “random”?
But on the topic, dinghy watching tv on Saturday night and hit the Soundhaus for a bit of “craic”.
Outside my auld flat one night this auld cunt, utterly utterly mingin, fallin aff the pavement, hauns oot, pointing like fuck at his wummin ( who was much younger than him, good on him, but still kinna auld ) and he’s shoutin ” See you ya cunt yer 90% sweetness and fuckin’ light!, but see the other 20?….yer fuckin’ TABOO!………”
Ok, My ones are “Its a very unique situation / object.”
Unique means one of a kind, how can something be very one of a kind. I cant.
And the other one is
“In all fairness….” ,
watch out for cunts sayin that one. I don’t know where they’ve picked that one up from. But people are starting to say that more and more. And it usually come before something that has nothing to do with fairness at all.
David, in all fairness it’s a very unique situation finding someone who dislikes said remarks. That word “said” in the way I just used it there annoys me like fuck. Any by the way that was meant to be predictable.
How can you get upset when somebody says there giving it 110%. Its only a figure of speech.
I hate purple. Both the colour and the word.
Just saying it… purple, purrrple. You can’t say it without sounding like a cunt.
On the other hand I love the word lunch. I know in Scotland it’s dinner and not lunch. But lunch is much better. It even sounds good to eat.
I also like the word boner. You can’t say boner without cracking a little smile at least.
Boner.
Try it.
Boner.
I’m not a scientist by the way.
I’m glad you’ve noticed this, because it’s something I’ve been really annoyed about for a while. In work I’ve started saying “I’ll give it 95%”, and they’re looking at me as if I’m weird! I work for the COUNCIL!!!! You’re lucky if I work to 20% of my ability!!
These “celebrities” have something to answer for. You can’t honestly claim to do “20000060606068282%”!!!!!!!!!
broon bottle 2006 Says: “How can you get upset when somebody says there giving it 110%. Its only a figure of speech.”
1. It’s like saying you’re giving it 108%, which sounds stupid.
2. It’s a buzzword, and I don’t like it when people use buzzwords. It makes me think that they’re easily manipulated and weak-minded, and my animal instincts interpret that into hatred so that I fall out with them and increase my chances of survival cos my pack no longer has a chink in its armour.
3. It gets said again and again and again.
I could drink with Johnny.
I wish I had a PhD in photochemistry.
Also, something can’t be “very” unique. It’s a binary connotation – something either is “unique”, or it isny. There is no “very”.
Presumably what you meant to say, Limmy, was ‘I don’t like it when people use trendy words or phrases in an vain effort to appear stylish’.
The word ‘buzzword’ is, after all, just another ‘buzzword’.
That aside, I agree 110%. At the moment, I have a particular hatred for the phrase ‘emotional journey’. Anything that any fucker does on television, involving even the slightest amount of hardship, has to be described that way.
‘Learning curve’ is another stomach-churning phrase that gets routinely trotted out. “It’s been a real learning curve.” Well, what the fuck isn’t? Wiping your arse properly is a learning curve, you hapless tosspots.
‘It’s all good’, though, apparently. Even cancer.
24/7 24/7 24/7
Cheers barney.
Next time in Glasgow I’ll give you a bell.
The MacDonald Brothers are through yet again – is it jist me, or does anyone else agree with Simon Cowell on this matter. I find them fuckin terrible – remind me of a couple of singers who used to play in Sammy Dows in Shawlands years ago….’nuff said.
Kate Thornton looks good tho’
Mr A Says: “‘Learning curve’ is another stomach-churning phrase that gets routinely trotted out.”
Abs from Five said on Love Island that it was a real learning curve, and made a motion with his hand like a dog going through one of these courses:
“..it’s been an absolute rollercoaster ride” or “..it’s the most incredible experience of my life so far”
wait for it…….
This post, for me personally…well, it’s been a real learning curve in giving 110% to something you like. I mean, I’ve seen an almost infinite amount of blogs in my time but this one is quite unique, this is no arbitrary demand for comedy in every comment made but in fairness it would be kewl. It’s a unique situation to find so much craic in such a random place, and I have to say it’s been an emotional journey. There’s been a few buzz words, don’t get me wrong…but it’s all good.
Fuck off a minute.
Did all this start with me saying “Why add 10%? Its just a arbitrary number more than 100%”
and then apfelstrudel said “I love it when folk cotton on to a smart sounding word and start using it.” ???
Its called education. I use the arbitrary when its appropriate, its not some language trend that I’ve noticed or have taken part in.
Some definitions:
arbitrary: Determined by impulse rather than reason; chosen for no reason or at random. Something is arbitrary if its value is not determined by anything but choice.
ringpiece: apfelstrudel
Buzzwords. Weak-minded. Aye.
Sales meeting. Cunt wanted to “run some ideas up the flagpole”, “suck it and see”, “put it in the chamber and see if it fires”, a “360 (degree, canny find a tiny wee circle on this keyboard) feedback”, and always kept referring to the “Bottom Line” Cunt.
These new fuckin hand-held electronic label things he was ‘marketing’ (not selling mind) he called “Sexy”
Nae names again, but his name was Ian Forrester (junior, the da was awright), Brady UK, up near Loch Lomond. He worked with his sister Allison Ogg. OGG! She even had it on her number plate. Fuck sake.
Try and imagine a female Hobbit stuffin them hobbit feet into big massive expensive high-heels. That was the sister man.
There’s nae danger them two would be readin a website like this.
Which is a pity.
Fat cunts.
thedonkey. Sammy Dows in Shawlands? What age are you at all?
The only piece of a ring I am is a diamond.
At the end of the day you all have a fair point.
For fack sake.
Yous cunts need to see the bigger picture and start thinking out of the box!
Has anyone else noticed the expression “you know what” becoming something people use more often in sometimes unappropriate situations?
do you limond brothers think you know it all
lets not forget the one’s you left before you found fame on the net
we are still doon the wall then up the shops
can we get free tickets and free drink{frosty jack or buckie)
for your gig in that blacktyeres place
luv nooks
ps is your brother still gettin aff wi michelle park ?
Cant say im bothered all that much by folk using language to impress, more pity I guess. The one thing that does get to me tho is when people, most notably celebrities, say things like “I feel blessed”, “I believe God has blessed me” etc.
Alota pish
leona Says:
>I wish I had a PhD in photochemistry.
It’s no all it’s cracked up to be, leona.
…or when people say “I mean” before they’re even said anything….what is that all about? You can’t fucking “mean” something until you’ve said something in the first palce……and if you’ve structured your first comment so badly in the first place, you need a fucking smack not a chance to redeem yourself by offering an alternative explanation. Footballers (players or twatty pundits) are the prime culprits.
Personally I want to move outside my comfort zone and manage the risks, possibly whilst realising it’s not rocket science but also while I’m raising the bar.
You all just need to get with the fucking program!!
It sounds good though
Smiddy need a kickin. Post his address(home) or threaten to, that should scare the cunt away.
“you gave it 200,000,000% (two hundered million percent) tonight”
Not kidding, Sharon Moron Osbourne said this tonight.
You’re right Limmy, people who don’t understand percentages are 500% stoopid!
WHAT?
King Rossco, I share the same view. We scientists are a crazy breed. I take it that like me, you break the scientific mould and you are a good looking rebel that plays by your own rules?
By the way what did you study or as they say in University fucking challenge… what did you read?