Ah just cannae find a way to explain what I think about my travels without it sounding too short or too long. I was travelling, I typed it all up as I went along, some of it was brilliant, some of it wasn’t, part of me has changed a lot, part of me hasn’t changed at all, etc.
So I’ll leave it up to you to ask me any questions you want answered, anything you think you might get an interesting answer from. I’ll answer stuff until the end of next week or something, by which time I’ll hopefully have a new blog set up to post on rather than this one.
Let’s have those travel questions, folks!
Did you get tempted to stay and live in Sydney for good, did it cross your mind? I did, but had to fly to New Zealand(have to be outside Oz) to get a visa to stay so ended up just taking the return flight home, now I regret not taking the chance.
Limmy says:
Tempted to stay there for good in the distant future, but it’s not home and there’s n place like home.
Can you get near any bars on NYE in Sydney? Is it as good as it looks? Is Sydney very expensive?
Off there in December and cant wait to go, looking forward to NYE so much.
Limmy says:
The one we were in was dead. I loved Sydney, but they don’t make a big deal aboot Hogmanay like we do; “Hogmanay” – QED. Excellent, ah’m a smart arse. Sydney was a bit cheaper than Glasgow.
I wrote this on the previous thread but sounds a bit more appropriate here, Limmy maybe you missed it or want to avoid the fact (love your site btw you cynical bastard)…
I haven’t checked your site lately but I just noticed looking thru some of yer photos that you never give us a good shot of Lynn in her bikini. Up and down the coast of paradise and not one sexy pic. Are you scared to show how lovely she is?
Maybe this lump is actually you growing some bigger balls and we will get to see how well Lynn’s body goes with her eyes.
Limmy say:
This is aw aboot me, no Lynn.
1. They say travel broadens your horizons, is that just some shite saying or does it really broaden your horizons? I mean, for example, as an analogy because I know you can’t get the measuring tape out, if your horizons were say 10 feet wide when you left, how wide are they now?
2. Did you grow Spiritually? and if you did, Was it gradual as you progressed through your travels, or was there a defining moment where something inside you just clicked and changed the way you see yourself and the world around you.
3. After seeing a good bit of the Planet, do you see yourself still in Glasgow in say, 20 years from now, or was there a part of the world you could really see yourself spending a lot of time in once you’ve made enough dough to do what ever you please.
4. Out of all the places you visited, which area had the highest concentration of smelly bastards?
Limmy says:
1. Aye well the world seems smaller, in that way. More things seem possible now that I know that I was in the middle of nowhere at some point and all went well.
2. I grew a bit but no a huge lot, like I would have if I was 21 rather than 31. Seeing so many lives being lived out in so many different ways has made it easy for me to work out my place in life and where I want to be. You just point and go “I don’t want to end up like himâ€, or wave your arms around and go “this is the fucking life, int it?â€.
3. I’ll be here in 20 years, probably.
4. Australia, due to the amount of travellers there wearing sandals.
None from me I’m afraid, sorry.
Would you do it again?
Limmy says:
Naw.
cheers limmy, i enjoyed reading the blog on your travels and everyones patter has been braw. just one question are ye gonnae update the site with the likes of “giez yer bunnett wie corks on it” or some mad shit? once u get the all clear and that, would be well good to know what’s in store for us all.
Limmy says:
There will be something big and new from the start of September.
hey limmy oot of your tour who was the dumbest cunts “il say americans” you ever came across ?
Limmy says:
The Japanese.
My question is this.
Where were you when you filmed this
http://www.skoopy.com/show2.php?id=2175&type=VID
and how did you get the locals on board?
Limmy says:
That’s fucking hilarious.
Limmy,
The thing that’s always troubled me about travellin the world (apart from the clarty crusties and bowfin youth hostels) is the thorny question of keepin yer hair lookin good. How does the seasoned traveller identify a place to have a haircut?
As every man knows, finding a new barber/hairdresser is a traumatic experience at best. Even once you’ve found one, it can take a number of visits before they are familiar with the subtle contours of one’s noggin. And there’s nothin worse than a haircut that doesn’t quite have that je ne sais quoi – no?
A man in your position – international playboy blogstar that you are – has a certain responsibility to look good for your audience. Surely you must feel that pressure each time you get your haircut?
I admire your courage Limmy. I don’t think I could handle that kind of stress.
Or did you just take a set of clippers?
Koofa
Limmy says:
Ye’ve just got to pick an awright looking one and leave the rest in the hands of fate. Sometimes it’s fine, but sometimes you get a blonde horizontal stripe across the top of your head, like me.
Only slightly different from Teo’s but… if yie could live anywhere ya went would it be Sydney aye? If you hud the opportunity to do so in the next wee while would yie? And what do yie think would be the main downsides?
Also – Whit would you say was yir best and worst one-off day?
Wir yie really as cabbaged as yie looked in them new year’s eve club photies?…
Limmy says:
I don’t want to live anywhere but Glesga for the next few years, but if I had to leave the country it would be Sydney. The downsides would be skin cancer. A best one off day that springs to mind was me and Lynn just doing fuck all in Balmain, Sydney, then going for a walk around, and getting the ferry to Circular Quay – you had to be there. A worst day could be any of the days I spent in San Francisco itching all over constantly and walking up hills wae mah legs fucking killing me. I wasn’t cabbaged at Hogmanay.
Jaybird, you odd bastard.
I don’t have any travel questions, but your blog has made me laugh about 5 million times over the past year, so thanks for that.
Limmy says:
Good!
1) Favourite Airport
2) Place which was so totally different from what you expected (in a good way)
3) Place which was so totally different from what you expected (in a bad way)
4) Did you find Irn Bru on sale anywhere on your travels?
Limmy says:
1. Singapore
2. Sydney
3. Japan
4. Naw
Did you feel the need to christen each now country you visited by having a wank?
Limmy says:
Naw.
While on your travels, how many things did you do for the first time?
Limmy says:
If you mean things like skydiving, then about four. If you mean things like looking at a particular square inch of ground somewhere in Thailand, then you’re into the millions.
1. How many times did you get the skitters?
2. Did you find that your jobbies got stranger the further you travelled from home? (I have a theory aobut this)
3. Where was the worst toilet?
4. Where was the best?
5. Did you ever fart and follow through?
6. Did you ever wipe your bum with strange items?
Limmy says:
1. None.
2. Naw.
3. Maybe the one in Bangkok wae the upwards facing used fanny pad lying in a bin.
4. In some high building in Tokyo, it had a control panel to play music and skoosh your arse.
5. Naw.
6. Naw.
Did you and your bird argue a lot?
Is your relationship better or worse than before you left glasgow?
Limmy says:
Certain topics were argued over a lot, like picking somewhere to stay and trying to find it. Our relationship’s worse.
Did you ever think
“What a fuckin rediculous waste of time, money and effort this has been, I could have bought a flat or a motor or a chinese bride for this much!”
Limmy says:
Naw. Even things that turned oot tae be no that good, like Japan, I’m glad I went just to find out what it was like for myself and to enjoy the stuff I did like.
did u sample any drugs anywhere apart from the ‘happy’ pizza incident?
and where was the best nightclubs/tunes/DJ’s?
and are ye sick of Glasgow yet?
Limmy says:
I whitied in Nimbin, the photie’s there.
I only went to one club, I think, Chinese Laundry in Sydney and that was awright.
I’ve only been into Glasgow once since being back.
do you have a dug?
Limmy says:
Naw.
Right limmy,
Not really a travel question but i’ll make it sound like one. Now you are back your travels will you be making more funny videos for your site? Geez yir jaiket and the rest are frankly hilarious. Hope you make more.
Limmy says:
Glad ye like them, I’ll be making more stuff up soon, which I’ll tell ye about in a few weeks.
1. As a nation who where the most annoying bastards.
2. Are yeh a bit deflated noo yah yehm or is it a relief.
3. How lang are yeh giving it before yah get back at the desk fulltime.
4. What was the thing yah missed the most out of yah regular days
pattern. i.e having a shite before yah gan to bed on yah own lav
with nice paper and a few decent magazines to hand.
5. Yeh keepinin touch with any of the people yah met or is it oooh aye ill keep touch then there address and emails straight in the bin when there on the horizon.
Limmy says:
1. Thais.
2. A relief.
3. A couple of months.
4. The telly.
5. Naw, no keeping in touch with anyone.
do you think ye’ll be able to settled back in glasgow for good?
we thought we would – we tried to
we move to berlin next week
Limmy says:
Aye.
1. Were the same clothes being worn for continuity editing a la David Attenborough?
2. How many unique visitiors was the blog attracting back in August compared to now?
3. What was the most popular post?
4. What are you doin for Lynns Birthday on the 28th of next month.
5. Whats the creepiest post that you recieved that you didnt publish?
Limmy says:
1. Aye, and to stand out in far away shots (there’s me wae the stripey t-shirt).
2. I don’t know how many for the blog itself, but the average for the site then was 32,000 a month and now it’s 28,000.
3. I don’t know, but comments wise it’s one of the religion ones.
4. Nothing.
5. I’ve never got anything creepy, but there’s been a few cheeky ones I’ve no let through to annoy the cunts that post them.
what did it feel like when you first got back into Glasgow? Did it only feel like you had been away for a fortnight and nothing had changed or did you notice all the new houses that had been built.
Limmy says:
Aye, it just felt like I was away on a fortnight’s holiday. It’s funny hearing all the accents again, though.
Will you be setting up a fan club for us all.It could be like the one you used to get from The Beano, with a free gnasher badge, except wi your face on it.I’d wear it with pride maself.
Limmy says:
If I set up a fan club, I will employ you as its chief. We’ve known each other for over 15 years, so you are ideally equipped to give out wee bits of gossip and info, like “Limmy hates The Village and everyone who works in it!”
i would like you to answer all of hippidy hop’s questions … then i would like to ask you ‘do you think hippidy hop has an unhealthy obsession with fart/toilet/shit?’
Am I getting a free DVD noo that your back?
Limmy says:
I can’t remember why I said that. Did I say that? If I did, then I will, at some point.
i was wonderin, while stayin at so many hostel type places where do you go to have a shag with yer lady?
Limmy says:
That’s a private matter.
Does the world seem smaller now?
Limmy says:
Aye.
How come you never came to canada? I hope they yanks didnae scare you off.fukin bangers.good tae see youse are home safe and sound. BTW, do you remember rattlin the coke factory?scalin the wall a few cases a ginger sell them up the flats 2 bob a can.the good ol days.
Limmy says:
We just wanted to travels to be over pronto, so we had no time.
I think I only ever tried to tan the Coke factory once, and I got caught.
I think the whole ‘smelly arse’ thing you encountered on your travels several times was something to do with that rough, non absorbent toilet paper they have in hostels. You end up just moving it around rather than wiping it off. It’s a right old cunt, that bloody paper…
Limmy says:
Not one hostel I went to had that tracing paper style bog roll. It was normal bog roll everywhere. I think you’re at it.
Did you underestimate the amount of questions you would have to answer?
Limmy says:
Aye, I was expecting aroon 25 questions, one question per comment. Been here for over an hour.
Can you please let everyone know if you did that skydive or not, and if I won my bet that you wouldnt do it and if you are going to pay me and if not why not?
My birthdays on the 26th of next month, but you were close David, I’m impressed.
I didn’t do that skydive, but I owe you nothing. Although I used the word “bet” in my post, we both know that you said you would give me 100 quid if I done the skydive, and that is all that was shook on. That if I done it, I would get 100, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t get 100, simple as that.
Lies.
Aye, people are ay asking me about living abroad and now I come back I get cemented into just saying “aye, whit did ah come hame fur?”
Actually, whit am I daein back up the road, I should get a fuckin haud of masel.
After the first month or so did you start to crave for bland food… instead of that spicy shit every fooker in asia etc eats?
Were you checking peoples eyes on planes… to check if they were “suicidal”
Did you feel guilty as you went through customs into a new country.. even though you werent carrying narcotics up yer ass…
Limmy says:
Aye, ah got a bit sick of chicken and rice when I was in Thailand.
I think I once spotted a couple of arab looking guys on a plane and went “Aye aye” to Lynn for a laugh, but that was it.
I always feel a bit like him fae Midnight Express whenever I go through the check in search bit.
Limmy, spoken like a true politician but can you answer the fuckin question?
(it is funny as fuck though)
Limmy says:
What question?
Limmy, I think that your answers to some of the questions above have been maybe the most interesting thing that’s been on the blog the whole year. (I once bellowed GIES YER JAIKET at you on the High St from the car.) Hope you’re happy to be back in the dear green place, as you rightly say many places are fun but nowhere else is home. I hope things improve with Lynn if you were serious in saying that your relationship suffered. Mine did with my now ex Jules who used to post on here too after we went to the US and seriosuly considered staying there (her mum’s a resident and brother a citizen.) Anyway welcome back.
Limmy says:
Oh aye, that was you? I remember you emailing, I think. I’m glad I’m back home. Naw, I was taking the piss wae the “oor relationship suffered” patter. Sorry to hear about you, though. What was it over, aw the bickering that comes wae the decision making?
http://www.limmy.com/worldtour/?p=219
please ignore my drunken rantings
When are you going to get off this fucking computer and meet me for a drink?
Limmy says:
Ah told ye on Messenger! Noo ye’re on here making me look like a total ignorant cunt in front of my fan base! But seriously, next week.
Lynn it looks tae me like the bet was purely on a jump/win no jump/no lose situation. You’re no gonni like this but everyone knows women don’t know how to make bets. That’s why you never see them in bookies unless they’re haunin oot change for the puggie or pickin up used slips from the floor.
Limmy,
I noticed there was nothing about Washington, DC in your travel log. Was it that crap?
From,
JoJo in Washington, DC
What camera did you use? the pics are bloody great quality!
how much money did you bring with you?
i know you worked for a few weeks in australia designing games but did you do any other work or soely survive on what you brought with you?
you have a credit card? travellers cheques? magic beans?
Aye ok ok. Mind and not wear that stripey t-shirt.
1. When you grabbed the bull’s sack, did you get the least bit aroused? Did you give him a prostate exam too?
2. Where did you refill that rogaine script in San Francisco?
3. Are the French really smellier than anything you experienced in Chinatown?
4. Who the hell is Cornileus?
5. When you went jogging with your shirt off, did you get the inevitable Austin Powers comments?
Ok how much did u spend when u were on yer travels in total???
this is off-topic so read then delete if u want, but in case u dunno Sony r making their new advert (follow-up to the boncy baws one which i think u wd still have been in the country to see?) in Toryglen this week, which is just about the most bizarre thing i’ve ever heard.
Splatterin a junkie block wi paint! Technology gone mad, kids these days etc.
but if u fancy goin down make it quite late, on a sunny day, apparently tmoro’s best. We went doon yesterday(Saturday) and stood aboot for an hour wi the local scumbags and some other nosey cunts like us only for 5 seconds of footage to be filmed. Pish.
Hey Limmy, now that you’re back in sunny Glasgow, why don’t you think about starting a Blipfoto journal?
http://www.blipfoto.com
It’s all the rage in Scotland now, you know.
Limmy – aye.
Belter, I converted $20 into around $150 dollars in about 2 hours at roulette. I think I know a wee bit more about betting than you.
The fact I lost the lot later on in the night doesnt really count as I was pissed by that point.
which country had the nicest birds?
Meant to ask a couple of burning questions, but not sure if this Q and Q is over…
Oh what the hell.
You must have crossed a fair few times zones – did that leave you a bit doolalley?
Mind that creepy guy who posted some sort of rant that ended with the chilling line: ‘A day wil dawn when ye’ll know who I am’? What the fuck was that all about?
How much did the whole testicular cancer thing affect your decision to come home?
Could you really be arsed with all the posters on the site? Or did having to keep an update going get a bit old after a while?
Cheers for all the laughs! Now that it’s all over I promise never to acknowlege you should we by chance meet on the public highway.
Crowsus – I was down at the flats in Toryglen on the Friday, only two things really happened. I drove past it yesterday and it was heaving.
On the friday i was standing near to a group of kids who couldn’t have been older than 10, as we waited for the sun to come out so they could film the first bit. The sun came out, they started getting ready to film and just as they did, it went a bit dull and one of the wee guys shouted ‘Ye shid of startid 5 minutes ago, arsehole!’
There was a shotgun fight near to that spot the other week.
Do you find yer mates are interested in what you done on yer travels or do they just ask the usual “Where was yer favourite place ?” “Are ye goin back?” and act like you’ve never been away ?. I feel a bit like Uncle Albert “Back in the War…..”
Tell Lynn am goin tae be a daddy, thats a Limmy.com/world tour exclusive, conceived a few weeks before a met you, ran oot a bunnets !
Hope yer baws are Ok
Hey Limmy,
Do you love Lynn more than anything else? Will you not post this so that you don’t have to answer it? Thanks
We ended up not going.
A Sony DSC-P1. It’s ancient and I’m no happy wae how all the photies are a bit grainy at the full resolution.
I saved up 11k, and that’s how much I spent, excluding the earnings I spent. So you could get by with a lot less than that, cos I only worked a few weeks. I spent it by taking money out of cash machines.
1: Naw. Naw; 2: What?; 3: Yes; 4: What?; 5: What?
I won’t be taking enough photos now for any of that.
Australia.
Congratulations Robbo, if it’s a boy will you call him Sydney?
I’m just curious about the reaction/treatment you got from our foreign cousins as a Scotsman on tour. Was it generally good treatment, a bit of humorous banter or was their a more sinister undercurrent?
Glad you made it back safe and sound, next time I see you in the Arches I’ll be sure to leave you alone like I did the last time.
I never got too jetlagged, I just felt a bit tired for a day or two, none of that actually feeling mentally ill shite you hear some people come out with.
The creepy guy’s post was a post fae a creepy guy.
The cancer scare thing meant we came home 8 weeks early rather than 7.
Sometimes keeping up the blog got a bit too much, especially if I left it for a while, cos then I knew I’d have to spend hours making sure I typed everything up. The comment posters were nae bother, I was just worried that I ignored the odd person and they’d think I was a cunt.
I’ve no met them yet, meeting up wae one themorra, and then another later who’s been travelling so will probably fall asleep during one of my recollections.
Congratulations on the wean! What Lynn said is a cracking idea, call him (or her) Sydney! Your second name isnae Divine is it? Or Little? Or Vicious, or Snot?
Yes.
We got treated fine, but nae mad special treatment like I naively expected. I thought we’d get some kind of “I love your accent!” stuff, but naw. Just the usual patter of “Ahhh, Scot Land… whisky!”
Hi Limmy, i really enjoyed your wee tour of this fine earth of ours.
But i want to know a personal question, i will undersatnd if you find it too rude to awswer. Did you and Lynn have sex at any time at all? If so how many times roughy over the whole trip?
I mean did you set a night each week for it? or did you bang like rabbits in every city?
Thanks for your time, this questions stuck in my mind all the way through the tour, im sure some other punters were thinking the same.
Also if your game some funny sex storys, just like the time the two of yous 69erd in some bog cubical at some art show, you know that kind of story.
Thanks again Henry.
http://www.limmy.com/worldtour/?p=405#comment-10779
Did you run out of music?
The regular response to “any questions?” by office comedians in Scotland is to say “what ever happened to white dug shit?”. This was going to be my question but since you’ve travelled the world a better question might be “could you comment on the distribution of white dug shit in the territories that you visited?”
BTW, I’m glad to see your naming and shaming the people that have been asking you about your sex life. Some sad people out there.
Cheers,
Del.
Says Del the big sweaty virgin lips.
Limmy you’ll never believe it, ma burds surname is ‘Little’ !
Did you go to see Madonna, or did I miss that bit of the trip blogging?
did you put on a lot of weight?
Hope yer settlin’ back into the hame buzz and catching up on loads of quality shite telly and tannin sausage rolls from greggs etc.
If you’re looking for any assistance in making new stuff for the site, as you mentioned in a previous post, I’d be happy tae help. I’m a good photographer and cameraman and ma heid is right full of random shite as well, which may or not be a bonus.
I also have no aversion to making a bit of a cunt of myself in public, so long as there’s a laugh in it.
Anyways, keep the high baws low fer noo!
Oh, I suppose I better ask a question since this is the Q&A bit.
How tasty are the kebabs in Oz eh? I put on a stone and a half when I was there, mostly due to living on a diet of them. Mmmm
Emma Says: Did you go to see Madonna?
Aye, we went and it was really good, ah just couldnae be arsed saying anything about it or the rest of Philadelphia for that matter. The whole show was good, but I especially liked the visuals n that, the background films, etc. There were tons of gay guys, and I was happy to see that I was dancing just like a gay guy behind me, which means I’m a good dancer and I like to let go. Almost as good as being black, but no quite.
Emma Says: Did you put on a lot of weight?
Does it look like it fae mah photies ya cheeky cunt?
Eddie, ah’m gonnae buy a “good camera” at some point, so at some point I’ll probably ask you for advice, if ye don’t mind. The kebabs were nice, the ones they wrap up in tin foil n that. Aye, really nice noo that I think about it.
ha ha ha ha actually no it didnt look like you put on weight but you could’ve photoshopped yourself to make you look skinny (but why would you bother)
I put on 2 stone when i was away cos of all the beer and takeaways and being dead lazy, but then i was a pure skinny malinky when before i went to oz.
Aye those kebabs were dead good actually now i remember.
cheers limmy, i enjoyed reading the blog on your travels and everyones patter has been braw. just one question are ye gonnae update the site with the likes of “giez yer bunnett wie corks on it” or some mad shit? once u get the all clear and that, would be well good to know what's in store for us all.
Limmy says:
There will be something big and new from the start of September.