Ah’m gonnae type up a wee review of the year’s travels, ah’m gonnae, but ah just want to gie you a wee update on the ball lump since a couple of folk have asked.
I got checked yesterday, and I’m getting referred to a hospital which I’ll be going to in a couple of weeks. The examination was pretty quick. I told him that I think I might have testicular cancer cos I found a lump, and he said okay and asked me to step over there behind a curtain he then pulled round.
This sounds like a story fae a gay magazine, din’t it?
I then asked him if he would like me to take it all down, and he said yes please. I undid my belt slowly and gently tugged down my denims and briefs, revealing my flaccid, shrivelled penis, and tiny scrotum. I guided him to the lump, which he caressed with his latex covered hands.
Squeezing them. Teasing them.
Pleasing them.
Sleazing them.
Then he said yes, there was definitely a lump, it doesn’t feel attached to the testicle, though, which cancers normally are. Then he typed up something on the computer, asked me what hospital I’d like to go to and that it would be around 2 weeks until my appointment. And that was that. I was in and out in 3 minutes.
No, not that sort of in and out you bunch of pooves.
You did the right thing mate!
Too many blokes ignore that kind of thing in the hope it will just go away!
Try not to worry yourself, it’s probably just a sist.
fuckin hell man, i hope your all well man! scary shit tht is! limmy where are you gonna write your blog after your overall review of the tour?? new site?
Aye, at least ye’ve had it checked oot. I had a rumage the other day after hearing your story. Found nowt, not even a 20p coin like ye get down the side of yer sofa.
P.S. Were his hands cold?
Ah’m gonnae dae a new site and a new blog after all this. Nothing major wae the new site, just a different menu.
Dave, ah didnae notice if his hauns were cold, I was too busy wondering if my cock looked small and hoping that I didn’t get a semi.
Aye, ah wis freakin oot cos o the lump on ma baw, turns oot it wis a harmless cyst. Wis gettin ma baughs checked oot lyin back on a bed in a dimly lit room, suddenly the door bursts open and a wee cleaner wummin strolls boldly in! She’s probably seen more baughs than she’s had hot dinners, but it wis still embarrasing.
Limmy I had a similiar experience and it turned out to be a thing called a variocele which is fine its just a bit like a varicose vein in the auld Bawbag.My brother who is a GP said that if its attatched to yer baw it is a bit more worrying.You will get an ultrasound of yer baws at the hospital.Think yerself lucky their are not many men in history who have seen the inside of their Bawbag on a Big TV screen ,hope its awright and as a healthcare worker I commend you in bringing this Mens health issue out in the open.Check Yer Baws Boys..
Good news about your balls.
I haven’t checked your site lately but I just noticed looking thru some of yer photos that you never give us a good shot of Lynn in her bikini. Up and down the coast of paradise and not one sexy pic. Are you scared to show how lovely she is?
Maybe this lump is actually you growing some bigger balls and we will see how well Lynn’s body goes with her eyes.
Think i’ll get mine checked, just for the free grope.
Knowing my luck my whole sac is just a cancer bag and ive got hours too live.
Thanks for commending me for raising the issue, Jobbo. It reminds me to remind everyone here that if you do check yourself cos of what I’ve said in my blog, and it turns out you do have cancer and then get cured of it, remember to put my name forward for some kind of People’s Hero type of award. Something that Esther Rantzen or Carol Vorderman would present.
If you don’t get cured, please don’t contact me.
what would be worse than a semi would be if yer scrote tightened into it’s walnut like shell and the doc couldnae get a proper grope.
Good to hear you got it checked out, had a wee rummage just there myself and alls quiet on the western front, I know of a guy that just recently died at the age of 32 because of this, being the same age as me it has scared the shit out of me a wee bit.
keep well all
you always manage to horrify me and yet make me laugh, limmy. hope it turns oot awrite.
Aye, girls aswell, not their balls obviously.
Mind you said you seen that model swaning around glasgow and i found a video of that gmtv “Checking” her breasts for lumps? This is it all over again!!
If only I could find it again
Things have changed while you have been away. Esther Rantzen or Carol Vorderman dont do presentations anymore. Jimmy Carr does all presentations.
Aye but wid she present it to you? Or the real heroes of this tale, who brought up the whole testicular cancer conundrum?
By that I mean yer wee chaps…
“And the prize for all-round good guys goes to the two from the bottom, Carol. Please pin on the rosette.”
Be careful of what you wish for.
I know other cunts have said it but I too had a lump and had to go to hospital to get it checked. It was also a wee duct that got blocked wae some shite and formed a lump. Comletely harmless and it fooked aff on it’s own. Dinnae worry!
Aye Limmy, Good luck wi that, it sounds like it’ll be awright mind u,im fat and the only major problem i hid was aboot 6 yrs ago cos i was 14 and never showered i used tae walk aboot, get pure heavy crotch sweat and i formed two huge blisters just aboot the crack of my arse.frae the skin rubbing/breaking/forming puss filled scabs, …….och well……….changed days………the memorys.
“my denims” hahahahahaha
Loads of men feel too embarassed to get themselves checked out, so well done! Hope everything goes ok.
What award did Esther Rantzen do again? Heart of Gold?
Doesnae sound like yer haw maws are in any serious danger wi the auld floating lump.
Hacked aff wi a rusty pizza wheel…That’d be heavy bad news…
Get well soon
limmy … you said you were scared of getting a semi … i thought you lived in a flat?
My, My, we have a busy wee board these days dont we.
Oh. Aye, and glad your balls are lookin better…. (imagine fuckin writin that sentence…)
it makes me feel sensual.
Thought Jaybird was wee bit close to the mark there…
Leona Says: “my denims†hahahahahaha
What’s up wae that? You don’t say “jeans”, do you?
Did he take his gloves off before he typed on the computer?
limmy, if they send you home with a fotie of yer nuts will you post it?
I do say jeans, do you say ‘denims and briefs’?
Where did ‘jeanes’ come from anyway? Did some wee skank nick Jeans Denims and then someone went “Whose ur they?” , “jeans, haha”
Naw.
I had an old woman doctor sticking a finger up my arse not so long ago. I had to lie on the bed with my legs bent up at my chest with my back facing her thank fuck.The only thing I was worried about was that she might see my knob as it looked as old as her. Anyway she only saw my arse and the only thing diagnosed was a bleeding pile and not the cancer I had been worrying about. Result…And I was pleasantly surprised by the sensation of a finger in ma erse hole.
hi brian,
just checked your site to see how things were going with the travelling and see you are home, and have had a health scare! 2 things to say, no actually 3 – welcome home, email me and we can catch up, and finally – BRAVO for being a man about the lump and getting it checked out, hope you get the all clear!
Carol xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
OMG the latex gloves are on ebay…… im gonna bid..
Ah'm gonnae dae a new site and a new blog after all this. Nothing major wae the new site, just a different menu.
Dave, ah didnae notice if his hauns were cold, I was too busy wondering if my cock looked small and hoping that I didn't get a semi.