Nimbin

Aye so like I said, we went to Nimbin, the drugs capital of Australia, they say.

The bus from Byron Bay to Nimbin was driven by the bus driver equivalent of the Steve “Crocodile Hunter” Irwin, who gave us lots of information on Byron Bay and Nimbin on the way there. As we got closer to Nimbin, he gave us all the drugs advice, i.e. where to get them.

The place itself is a dope smokers heaven, cos you can’t walk around much without someone asking you if you want any dope or cookies n that, wae the dealers ranging from old women to junkies asking if you’re looking for any ice instead. By the way, eckies are called eckies here anaw.

The place we stayed in was a very relaxing, as you can see:

A few funny things happened while we were there.

The first thing was when we were all in our dorm, just all of us and some woman that looked like a witch, and the witch, the Witch of Nimbin, asked us to switch the light off so she could sleep. When we did, she tossed and turned for a bit in the dark, fiddled about with her bag, then said, after half an hour, “I’m sorry, I can’t sleep like this” or something and headed out into the night. Then she came in a bit later and shuffled about a bit more, which made everycunt wonder what she was up to and where they had last put their valuables. She wasn’t there in the morning and everyone revealed that they were pure freaked out by her, everyone bar me of course.

The other funny thing (funnier than that last story) was this schizophrenic lassie that was staying at the place. I saw her walking around the place looking and acting fairly normal for the first few days (“fairly”, cos she had a habit of stopping near you and mumbling to herself as if she had forgotten something and then walking off at a right angle) but a day or two before we left, she flipped it.

Me and Lynn were lying out in the grass just like in that photie above, and suddenly there’s this mad shouting coming from the living room. It sounded part barking, part her from the Exorcist, part fuck knows what, and then a big “RrrrrASSSSSHHHHH!” like the crashing of a wave. I didn’t know what it was, but when it happened again a minute or so later, I could see it was her through the living room window, and she was shouting all this mad shite in German while kind of flapping her arms like a chicken. Me and Lynn were like that “She’s off her nut”, and I walked over to the living room bit to see what would happen, pretending to get myself a cup of tea. I went in and there was the lassie sitting on a seat, reading a book, like nothing happened. She even looked up to me with a polite smile on her face and went back to reading.

That kept on happening till we left a day or two later, and you’d hear her doing her “RrrrrASSSSHHHHH!” demon expulsion sound from all over the place. Lynn went into the toilet one morning and there she was crouching under the sink mumbling some kind of mumbo jumbo to herself. The guy who works there said she’s a schizophrenic and feels sorry for her n everything, but they’re gonnae ask her to leave soon cos “the place is like a nuthouse sometimes”.

The final funny thing that happened was what the guy who owns the car in the photie above done to the tent you can just see on the left. Just before he left in his motor, he walked over to that tent wae a knife and just slit each side of it top to bottom like he was casually unzipping it to pack it away, leaving it in this state:

Then he gets back in his motor and fucks off. When the guy who works there showed up, I pointed to the tent and said “What d’you make of that then?”, and he said “Oh… what a nice prick that guy turned out to be”. We thought the guy couldnae be bothered taking his tent but didnae want anyone else to have it either, but it turned out that it was just an act of vandalism fae a disgruntled customer. Hopefully the cunt wrapped his motor round a lamppost soon after.

Anyway, bar that excitement, Nimbin was chill out central and I enjoyed it very much.